PlanetFootball are carrying the following report:

"Newcastle United are on the verge of signing one of Asia`s hottest prospects, Iranian international Hamed Kavianpour.

The 21-year-old midfielder will fly into England on Sunday to begin a week-long trial with the Tyneside club, and the Persepolis starlet is hopeful he cam secure a move to England.

"I have been given permission by [national coach] Miroslav Blazevic to go, I will leave for England on Sunday. It is planned for me to participate in Newcastle training after an initial medical examination. I feel that the technical directors and coaches have a positive point of view on me, having already seen videos of my games. Should the two clubs reach an agreement then I will sign for Newcastle."

Kavianpour has already had trials with English sides Bolton and Ipswich in the last year, and George Burley`s side had a bid rejected. It was thought that the youngster was close to joining German side Hamburg, where he also had a brief training spell, but again that move failed to materialise. However, some of Europe`s bigger clubs, including Rangers, are now showing an interest and Newcastle have moved quickly to try and secure a deal for the defensive midfielder, who can also play in a wing back role.

His club, Persepolis, have previously put off potential buyers by demanding $3 million (£2.1 million) for his services".

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Answers

TribalFootball are reporting the following:

"Having just completed the signing of Laurent Robert from Paris Saint Germain, Newcastle United have been linked with the winger's former teammate, Sylvain Distin.

French press reports today suggest that Newcastle are chasing the former Gueugnon defender, who was also interesting Spurs over the summer".

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

"Iranian international Hamed Kavianpour."

Well, we said we were looking for a suicide attack midfielder. His signing would go down a bomb, and create terror in the hearts of the infidels. Ayatollah you YBR had international connections. If jihad a chance he might impress. Hamass have a chance with our ageing / injured midfield.

ad nauseum...

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Do you reckon he smokes Embassies?

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Boom, boom!!

Nice one ML#3.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Do you reckon he smokes Embassies?

Shah he does.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Will he be able to bridge the Gulf to the EPL??

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

That one eMerates a round of applause

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Just as well we did not sign Sutton, our 2 strikers would have scared him off!

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

All right, I think we've Jihad enough of those now.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

SAS Gus? Very Good. :o))

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Just hope he's not Shiite. He might be able to mecca go of things here.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

You trying turban this thread, Dan? I thought you were more ayatollah- rent. Don't all Rushdi my defence now.

I hear the lad likes Tehran aboot with the ball. Not the fatwah-n the other one. Saddam shame.

Koran, AK47, taxi

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Yashmakin' far too much of this. Look homeni of these we've done now. I think that's aboot Allah we can say on the subject.

I'll get me goat.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Khomeni more of these awful bliddy puns are we gonna get before somebody deserts us?

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

sound of wind echoing through scrubland...a tumbleweed drifts past

Think that did it :-)

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

LOL at this (slightly offensive) thread. Copied it to Kabul Rovers BB.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

I'm trying to pull a rabbit out of the hat here but I ran out of jokes now. It is lamentable. Oil be seein' ya.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Waddyamean, slightly offensive?? We haven't had any contributions to this thread from Soops or OML ;-)

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Waaal thank you pilgrim, (trying to sound like the Duke, for buff!)

Thought it might have been a bit too subtle for screacher at least!

He is a handy player, sort of like Kachloul - Hadji. I do not know if he is up to PL toughness though, but then again are Bonvin, Gavilan et al. (or should that be El AL?)

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2001