Iron CHEF!

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The best show in the history of television, if you ask me.

It's hard to pick a favorite, but I think mine's Sakai.

And my favorite battle, by far, even though Sakai loses, is the lobster (robstah) battle in which the San Francisco chef rolls up in his Camaro and surprises all of Japan with his skills.

Please tell me you watch it. I'll be very disappointed if you don't.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Answers

We don't have cable! Wah! I haven't seen Iron CHEF! since we were at the beach last week. My favorite, though, is Iron Chef France - I can't remember his name, but he bears striking resemblance to Ringo Starr. Y'all know which one I'm talking about.

But y'all: the foie gras battle? I can eat maybe two bites of foie gras before I'm all full of its rich buttery goodness. Eight foie gras dishes? And then the asparagus overtime?? Shite!

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001


Y'all, my big Money Making scheme is to license a set of Iron Chef action figures. With a miniature Kitchen Stadium. How rich would I be??

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

My favorite is the one where Sakai's childhood friend turns out to be a chef and challenges him, starting with Sakai going home and pulling a Jamie Oliver by cooking dinner for all his old friends. That was such a great battle.

Al, I heard a rumor that when Chen Kenichi got to sample Ron Siegel's lobstah dishes, he licked the plate clean.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001


OK, Iron Chef...what can I say. This show is ultimate entertainment.

Oto is the consumate "on the floor" commentator. If one of my children are trying to get my attention, I say "yes, Oto" (in my best Japanese) and they of course roll their naive little eyes at me and say something derogatory about lips and words not matching! So uneducated...how did I raise these heathens.

And when the tiny, little Japanese actress puts her hand up to her mouth and says something like "This makes my mouth sooo happy (giggle, giggle)" I mean, how can you get more entertainment for your cable dollars.

Don't get me started on Chairman Kaga, the cow shirt and the yellow pepper....

Oh Allison, if only everybody "got it"

Battle on...Barb

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001


Hannah, I would so buy them. Please do it.

I can envision myself in the kitchen, with my little Kitchen Stadium set up on the counter, as I choose my Challenger and my secret ingredient ("tonight - Broccori!"), talking to myself in Lin Chao voice as I make dinner.

Occasionally I would break from cooking to go over and enact a Battle. My roommate would walk in and find me playing with action figures, yelling "Bobby Fray, you viorate my honah!" I think some wine would be involved.

oh, yes...

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001



We have seen him chomp into that pepper hundreds of times now, and STILL when we see it, the MOC and I are hit with convulsions of laughter. I mean... the cow shirt AND the pepper... it's a deadly combination.

I LOVE Kaga. I love it that he's the only one who's not dubbed. It's because he's TOO CRAZY. They couldn't possibly replicate his madness in English.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001


Y'all just don't know how devastated I was when Chris didn't go for my suggestion that for Halloween, he go as Kaga and I go as Cookie- san.

"It pleases my mouth in three ways!"

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001


My work is really suffering today. Between John Edward and Iron Chef, how can I possibly work.

Chairman Kaga is supposedly some cheesy actor they picked when they started the show...I think however, in his delicate mind, he has absorbed the persona and gets that wild eyed look when someone tries to tell him otherwise. Strange guy. But would we have it any other way? Still in all, no one (and I mean NO. ONE.)in their right mind would wear those clothes, nope, they are just wrong....

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001


Chris didn't go for that? Are you SURE you want to marry him?

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Kaga Takeshi actually apparently has a fairly long resume, from what I've heard -- something of the Nathan Lane of Japan (he originated the role of Jean Valjean in Japan, for example).

I've heard rumors he has cancer. Please, say it ain't so.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001



Dude, the first Japanese Jesus can't get cancer. He caaaaaaaaaaiin't.

And what's this about an American version of Iron Chef with William Shatner as Kaga? How absurd - the appeal of the show is that it's Japanese. Infidels!

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001


I don't know. William Shatner is funny because he's so absurd. And he knows it.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

No, but Iron Chef is funny because it's so foreign. Shatner is hilarious, but the American show will be funny for different reasons.

If they ever stop playing the Japanese Iron Chef on Food Network... I will lose my cool.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001


Al got me the Iron Chef book for our first anniversary, so let me set the record straight.

1. Kaga was/is a well respected actor in Japan. Apparently the ICs were surprised that such a well known actor would host what they thought of as a cheesy show.

2. There were two Japanese Iron Chefs and one French Iron Chef before the current ones. The only chef that was with the show the whole time was Chen Kenichi.

3. Ron Seigal was the only American to ever win in Kitchen Stadium.

4. Dr Hattori actually fought the Iron Chefs twice. And Fukai-san is a sports announcer!

God, how I love that show. I consider it one of my major contributions to society that I turned on some people to that show.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001


Allison-

You should really consider dragging yourself out of your sinful relationship and marry this man. His IC knowledge alone should have you marching him down the aisle.

Now, The Husband (mine), is a closet IC fan. He teases me relentlessly about the show, but he'll always make his way into the room while it is on.

This is causing a major rift in our 18 year marriage that might only be able to be filled by the likes of Chen Kenichi (or John Edward).

If I would have only known...but how could I, back then we shared many interests (PacMan, Miami Vice, drinking in bars til all hours..oh the memories)

I thought PacMan was a good foundation to start a marriage, but there is no better than the Love of the Iron Chefs!

-with my blessing

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001



My favorite chef is Masaharu Morimoto. Pronounced as all one word. He's a downright sexy Japanese man. He's so passionate about his cooking, and bitchy under pressure! I love the show but I have to change the channel when they do something crazy like stab an eel through the head with a fork and filet it live. This one beheaded, disembowled eel body was still writhing in the pot fifteen minutes after he'd killed it. And of course the panel of judges is ooohing and aaaahing about how delicious it looks. Erg.

The panel is all kinds of whacked anyway. They'll go nuts over disgusting stuff like squid ink ("Squid ink ice cream! Oh, it looks so DELICIOUS!") but then they get all doubtful and suspicious over something like garlic. "He's baking that fish with garlic??? Well, OKAY! I'll try anything once! I suppose he knows what he's doing!"

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001


HAHAHAHA!

That is so true. I can't stand it when they question the Iron Chef! And he can HEAR them down there, while he's cooking, and he always tells Ohta to tell the panel to shut up. Love it.

"What is he DOING with those mushrooms?!"

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001


That is the best! I love it when the chefs use non-Japanese ingredients and the panel gets all confused. "What's he doing with that corn?" "I believe he is going to make bread with it." "Bread? Made out of corn? I've never heard of such a thing!" "Well, apparently it's quite popular in the US." "Oh, well. Of course."

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Like I need another addiction...

You guys got me. I've only watched the show a couple of times, and didn't really pay attention when it was on.

I'll be watching very carefully tonight. It comes on like every night, doesn't it?

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001


I remember when it only came on late on Friday nights, and we began staying home to watch it.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

It comes on every night of the weekend. Fri, Sat, Sun.

The official site: http://www.foodtv.com/tvshows/ironchefindex/

A very good unofficial one: http://www.ironchef.com/

Too lazy to set the tags, people.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001


Greatest show ever. All we need is the third Bobby Flay-Morimoto battle. I'm volunteering my kitchen as the host site.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

The greatest would be if an Iron Chef used the Goerge Foreman Grill.

I could die at that point.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001


Oh, God. I'd die laughing.

That also goes for that thing Ron Popeil sells on the infomercials these days ... that "Set it and forget it!" rotisserie thing.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001


"Fukai-san, it seems the Iron Chef is pressing the giant octopus head into a grilling device of some sort...?

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

When I call to my kids from the other room I holler "Fukai-san!" hee. The funny part is that that they come running. We used to watch the beginning carefully to see what the main ingredient would be. But now, we cayn't. wait. to see what Kaga is wearing tonight. You can hear a roar through our house when he appears on screen in his glitter. We have bets going up to the minute of his arrival: E-Ok, Mom, I say red and black sequins. S-Nope, yellow and black shiny silk. Then he appears. Ah! in blue spangles!!

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Ron Seigal was the only American to ever win in Kitchen Stadium.

Was the second Flay-Morimoto battle not in Kitchen Stadium? I thought the book came out before that battle, and thus Ron Siegel would be the first American to win in Kitchen Stadium.

And for the record, AB, I can't believe I'm the one pointing this out, and not you.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 2001


I can't either, WG, but you're absolutely correct. Bobby Flay did indeed kick the shit out of Morimoto in Kitchen Stadium.

Boo-yah.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 2001


He also kicked the shit out of Morimoto in New York, but was hosed by the judges.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 2001

MIKE. What are you TALKING about? Bobby Flay couldn't kick the shit out of a bag of shit while wearing shit-kickers. Come ON, people. No love for Moto-san? You're showing favor to that punk ASS Flay?

In the words of Mad Mad, "Whatever, Mama."

-- Anonymous, August 13, 2001


Really, the only answer now is to have Flay and Siegel go head-to- head.

Does it bug anyone else that Tenmei Kanoh, Shady Photographer, and Morimoto have the same voice actor?

-- Anonymous, August 13, 2001


I want more KORN!

-- Anonymous, August 13, 2001

Did you guys see the Saury battle? That poor challenger, nobody liked his bullshit food.

When they started talking about how Sakai was preparing saury with celery, I thought it was a joke. Isn't "sow-ry" the Japanese pronunciation of celery???

-- Anonymous, August 13, 2001


The saddest one I ever saw was the ... damn, I forget the theme ingredient, but it was the one where the guy from Sabatini's lost to Sakai. Someone else from that same restaurant had lost to Sakai a couple of years before, so the owner made a big deal about revenge. Then his chef apparently makes the huge error of not putting the artichokes in one key dish. The chef looked like he was going to throw up.

Now Sabatini's is 0-for-2.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 2001


Fuckin' Bobby Flay with his disrespect and raising the roof and obnoxious personality and belief that he can cook. That shit right there is all the evidence you need to prove that an Americanized Iron Chef would suck. They'd have Bobby Flay, Emeril Lagasse, that ass David Whatever with the beard that has his own show and hosts In Food Today as the Iron Chefs and I would have to fly to New York and fucking kill them all with a boning knife for fucking up the best show EVER.

Ahem. I have some issues.

Now, if they had, say, Sara Moulton, Elton Brown and the remaining Fat Chick as Iron Chefs it might work. Oh, and Curtis Brown. But you'd loose the hilarity of the translations, the actresses with the giggling, the old lady critics (if they are indeed two people, rog swears that she's just a fortune telling food critic).

Iron Chef for Playstation 2 is where the money is at. Choose your Iron Chef opponent. Choose your theme ingrediant. Cook your ass off. Get defeated. Giggle like a loon.

Sometimes I flip to PBS during fund-raising singing and they are showing the 10th Anniversary Special of Les Misrables and I get all confused trying to figure out why my secret boyfriend from Iron Chef is singing the People's Song.

-- Anonymous, August 14, 2001


This is now officially the funniest thread on the forum, y'all.

-- Anonymous, August 14, 2001

There's an Iron Chef game for PS2?

-- Anonymous, August 14, 2001

No, I was just saying it would be more profitable than the action figures. Although now I'm all obsessed with Iron Chef action figures to live in my car. I really need tiny voices discussing my choice of Starbucks drink and how it pairs with that day's Einstein's bagel choice.

"Hmm, what's this? It appears as though Slickery-san has replaced the normal vanilla syrup in her carmel macchiato with sugar-free vanilla syrup!"

"No, really? Why would she do that?"

"It's very popular in America, it gives them the illusion that it's a 'diet' drink. Carmel is just burnt sugar though so it seems rather pointless. She must know something we don't! But pairing it with a power bagel with cream cheese and lox is not typical."

"A power bagel with lox? But doesn't a power bagel have raisins in it?"

"Yes, you often see raisins in a power bagel. Not sure how those will go with the lox, I guess we'll have to wait and see."

-- Anonymous, August 14, 2001


Oh My God, Slickery. I dig you as much as it is possible for a heterosexual woman to dig another woman who is a complete stranger, but Sara Moulton? Please woman, although I am firmly in the Flay-was- robbed camp (Morimoto and his creepy little boy fan can kiss my ass), I totally can see how others could find him obnoxious. But Sara Moulton? Sara Moulton is without a doubt the most uninteresting, mealy-mouthed store-bought half woman on TV today.

Alton Brown, on the other hand, does indeed rock with the force of a thousand men.

-- Anonymous, August 14, 2001


Woo, someone digs me. I'm all a flutter.

Oh no you didn't! Do not diss Sara because Sara is the fuckin' bomb.

Sara worked for Julia Child on Julia's second or third PBS series. Julia fuckin' Child. Bobby Flay isn't good enough to kiss Julia's ass.

Sara is on Weight Watchers. She understands the struggle of we generously shaped women. But she also understands that sometimes you just gotta eat something bad for you.

Sara can cook an entire dinner in less than an hour and does every Wednesday. Plus she is live every night.

Sara has adorable children. No one has spawned with Bobby yet and I think that's rather telling.

Sara got her own special for her 5 year Food TV anniversary. Bobby Flay smells.

Hee. I'm just assuming he smells because he looks like he smells.

Seriously, I adore Sara. She is my Secret Girlfriend. I suppose I can see why people would think she's boring but I know I couldn't do anything in under an hour, live, in front of thousands of viewers, and be as pleasant and smart and funny and together as she is. I watch Bobby's show and I just want to hold him down and force him to take a Valium and an Ego Reducing Pill.

Alton Brown though, he's my Secret Sex Slave. I make him do fun things with food. Could he be any more adorable? I totally wish they'd show his wife, I want to know what kind of woman he digs so I can become that woman and move to Atlanta and stalk him.

-- Anonymous, August 15, 2001


I remember Bobby's over-permed girlfriend attending New York Battle. Aren't they engaged now? Which doesn't mean he'll spawn, of course.

-- Anonymous, August 15, 2001

Oh, sweet Shae. I hate you because you hate Bobby, but then I have to love you because you love Sara Moulton and Alton Brown. What do I do?

Bobby Flay broke up with that permed whoo-er, I'll have y'all know. He told me when he came over last week.

-- Anonymous, August 15, 2001


He did break up with the New York Battle girl and was broken up with the girl at the last battle before it aired, I remember the TV Guide article mentioning it.

Also, I have a soft spot for (Molto) Mario. Because he looks a lot like a guy I used to date who turned out to be a big asshole. Mario has that big ole pot belly so I can watch him and pretend that the Ex got fat and started wearing clogs and feel all superior and know that he just wishes he still had me because I would never, ever let him wear plastic clogs on national television. Local, sure, but not national.

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001


I LOVE Mario Batali! He's always making things with shellfish or red meat, which just makes me salivate. Plus he has the whole "Mario Eats Italy" show where he and his sidekick travel around Italy eating food and trying to be funny.

I love his whole demeanor, this attitude of "I know more about food than you do, but you can kind of still cook like me."

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001


I feel so sad that I hate all the people that y'all love, but Mario Batali is also a turd in my book. I went to dinner at his restaurant Po with my parents and their friends and he was a giant asshole.

But it's probably just because he wishes he could be with Slickery...

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001


I think it's because he wishes he could be with Chris. In the "Venito."

-- Anonymous, August 16, 2001

If anyone should come back to this thread after 5 days and care what I have to say, you should know that (beside Chen Kenichi as previously mentioned) the Naked Chef, Jamie, rocks my world with his cuteness and messy hair and little boy self. Plus, he cooks real food that I would eat. Bobby Flay is a big jerk. (It took me a long time to come up with that one!) Eww..he probably has flabby white thighs and freckles all over, he reminds me of Bill Clinton only not as well read.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001

Yeah, but he stood on the cutting board! And then, the second time, he made a huge show of sweeping the board away before standing on the counter.

I'm all about the trash-talking. A lot of the other challengers look scared to death coming into Kitchen Stadium.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


BECAUSE THEY SHOULD BE!

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001

Yeah, but he stood on the cutting board!

Uh-huh. And this ugly Americanism is to be praised why?

Ditto on Naked Jamie, though. He was signing at a Waterstone's two blocks away from the office when I was in London, and I didn't go; I'm still kicking myself for that.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


Mike: Are you a Bobby fan or foe? I couldn't tell from the way your response read.

Obviously, his lack of class, people skills, vocabulary, and respect for other customs, let alone his total lack of cooking skills and mushy pale lumpy body puts me in the Anti-Bobby camp. but let me tell you how I really feel....

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


Oh, I'm a fan. I like the arrogance. As the baseball Hall-of-Famer Dizzy Dean once said, "If you can do it, it ain't braggin'."

Allison, the only reason they should be scared of the Iron Chefs is that the far-from-impartial judges don't give the challengers a fair shake. Deep down inside, you know it's true.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


Yeah...take into consideration the first part of that statement - "...if you can do it". Must be braggin.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001

No, I do not know it, deep down or otherwise! I love the crazy-ass judges. And, I've seen them give challengers the win many a time over. As a matter of fact, I saw Sakai lose like, three times in a ROW, once to the Winger-loving Ron Seigel.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001

Barb, you do know you're treading on thin ice with your Bobby hate, don't you? Because Mike and I aren't scared to kick a little Flay-hating ass.

I like his freckles. And I like his cutting board antics. So there.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


But see, he did do it. On the road. In front of a hostile crowd, and judges and commentators who knew not that corn could be used in bread-type products.

I stand by my statement.

And Allison, two things:
1.) Denial ain't just a river in Egypt and ...
2.) What's with the diss towards cheesy 80s metal bands?

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


Y'all shut up.

I stand by my earlier statements that the judging is on the up and up.

Also by the dissing of all interchangeable hair bands.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


Okay, let me get this logic straight.

1) The (Japanese) judges are biased in favor of the Iron Chef.

2) Flay lost in New York to Morimoto, in front of an all- American panel.

3) Flay won in Japan, in front of the same judging panel. The two regulars (Kanoh Tenmei and Kishi Asako) both voted for Flay. (Kanoh also voted for Ron Siegel in Lobster Battle vs. Sakai; Siegel also won 4-0.)

So either (a) Flay's cooking is so overwhelming that we American idiots can't see it, but the Japanese critics can, overriding their usual "bias"; (b) each judging panel was attracted by the exotic newcomer; (c) one or both of the matches was rigged.

In fact, let's go down the list of how Western challengers have done against Iron Chefs, stats courtesy of ironchef.com:

Michel Husser, France, 14 May 99: both Kanoh and Kishi vote for challenger, who wins.

Constantino Gemmori, Italy, 22 Jan 99: both Kanoh and Kishi vote for Kobe, who wins. Kishi gives challenger only 14 points.

Mario Frittoli, Italy, 13 Mar 98: Kishi votes 18-17 for Kobe, who wins 3-1.

Morris Giulette, France working in Japan, 12 Dec 97: Beats Iron Chef Nakamura 3-1.

Rory Kennedy, England, 24 Jan 97: Originally ties with Sakai (Kishi votes 18-16 for Kennedy), loses tiebreaker 4-0 (Kiski votes 19- 17 for Sakai).

Daniella Ouzik, Italy, 1 Nov 96: Beaten by Chin 4-0.

Tiery Unges, Brazil, 9 Aug 96: Beaten by Nakamura 3-1 (Kishi votes 18-17 in favor of Nakamura)

Philip Baton, France, 21 Jun 96: Beats Sakai 3-1 (Kishi votes 19-18 in favor of Baton)

Alain Passard, France, Iron Chef King Battle, 24 Sept 99: Loses 3-2 to Sakai (Kishi votes 18-16 in favor of Sakai)

Dominique Corby, France, 30 Jul 99: Ties twice with Chin (Kanoh votes 20-19 for Chin both times)

Michael Noble, Canada, 2 Jul 99: Loses 3-1 to Morimoto (both Kanoh and Kishi vote 18-17 in favor of Morimoto)

Marco Molinari, Italy (I think. He apparently speaks Japanese), 27 Nov 98: Beats Morimoto 3-1

There are more, but I think there is sufficient evidence here to not assume a pro-Iron Chef bias in the case of foreign competitors. There are enough cases where (a) challenger wins or (b) the judges at Flay's battle favor the Iron Chef by one point (a tactic Kishi in particular disliked after her favorite lost when someone else used a 2-point margin and she only gave a 1-point margin). So if there's an pro-Iron Chef bias to begin with, which I would dispute, it would not apply to Bobby Flay. If anything, Flay may have had the benefit of a pro-foreign bias, being something new (i.e. the use of corn).

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


WG - Slow day at the office?

I'm not saying that the judges are biased against Western challengers, although I also don't think your stats would hurt such an argument. A 4-7-1 record isn't exactly evidence of an event where this group of challengers get an even shake.

Rather, I'm saying the judges are biased against all challengers -- that if the dishes are anywhere close, the Iron Chef gets the nod.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


A 4-7-1 record is a winning percentage of .333.

Winning percentages against the various chefs are: Chin, .215; Sakai, .164; Kobe, .272; Morimoto, .261; Nakamura, .310; Michiba, .125; Ichinabe, .143.

My argument stands.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


WG, you're not getting my point. I'm not trying to argue that the judges are biased against Western challengers in particular. I'm arguing that they're biased against any challenger ... an argument your numbers make pretty difficult to refute.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001

And I'm arguing that Western challengers have a significantly higher winning percentage against Iron Chefs than non-Western challengers. Which means that Bobby Flay may have won the battle just for showing up as his ugly American self.

As for the pro-Iron Chef bias: they're the Iron Chefs for a reason. If their winning percentages were closer to .500, why bother anointing them Iron Chefs? They're supposed to be hard to beat. It's not a cooking league where all teams start out equal; it's a situation where each challenger faces the implicit question, "Show us how you can do better than the standard, i.e. the Iron Chefs." And if the challenger fails to meet that requirement, he/she loses.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


"They're supposed to be hard to beat."

Exactly.

And that's something the judges know, and take into account. I'd bet the ranch on it.

If they were truly serious about picking the best chefs, the judges wouldn't be in the stadium during the competition, wouldn't have to see the Iron Chefs while they tasted the food, and wouldn't even know who cooked what. The system is set up perfectly for judges to pick a winner based on who the chef is rather than the quality of what they cook.

I'll tell you what, WG. Let's make this a blind competition -- with he judges having no idea who cooked what dish -- and we'll see how far those winning percentages drop.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


Merciful heavens.

Although, I do like Mike's idea about blind tastings. Maybe they could do that for the American version of the show (shudder).

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


By your logic, the challenger should never win, because any dish he/she presents is just "the challenger's dish." Unless you're arguing that every battle is rigged -- that before the judges go in, they're saying to themselves, "Hmm, Morimoto's acting arrogant lately. We'll give this one to the challenger."

Again, you're arguing for a level playing ground, whereas my understanding of the entire premise of the show is that it's not level, isn't going to be level, and isn't supposed to be level. That's why Kitchen Stadium is the "home" of the Iron Chefs. When a challenger enters, he/she is coming into Iron Chef territory, complete with judges who have tasted the Iron Chef's dishes before, Kaga rooting openly for the Iron Chefs, and Hattori and Fukui occasionally making less-than-flattering comments about the challengers. If the show operated on the premise of a level playing field, than the judges' possible Iron Chef biases would be more worrisome than they are now.

I mean, if you truly were looking for the best chefs ever, you wouldn't appoint Iron Chefs, but would instead rotate in and out. When someone beats an Iron Chef, he/she gets to be Iron Chef next time around, and so on. But it wouldn't be the same show.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


WG, I have to admit, I'm now utterly confused as to what you're arguing. But let me sum up what I'm trying to say:

1.) I'm not arguing that every battle is rigged. Every challenger has a theoretical chance of winning, but also knows that, to a big extent, the decision is out of their control. The home court advantage means that, unless a challenger goes out there and kicks the Iron Chef's ass from Kitchen Stadium to Hokkaido and back again, they are going to lose.

Judges go in assuming that whatever the Iron Chefs cook will be great. Since this is a pretty subjective competition -- you win or lose based on the personal opinions of the judges unless someone really screws up, kind of like Olympic figure skating -- that has a huge impact on the final result. Moreover, because it's the exact opposite of a blind competition, judges are basing their decision knowing full well which dishes these chefs have concocted.

Thus, extolling the Iron Chefs' greatness by saying "They never lose! Look at those winning percentages!" is meaningless, because, well, they should never lose. I mean, I'm not any great chef, but if we have the George Foreman grill competition in my apartment with my mom, gradfather and childhood friend as three of the judges, watching the whole competition and knowing which burgers are mine, I'll have a pretty good chance of winning.

2.) I'm not arguing that there needs to be a level playing field for it to be a good show, since the show kicks ass as it is. But it kicks ass because it's entertaining, not because it picks which person is objectively the better chef.

--but--

3.)Because of that, I think the whole 'competition' portion of the show is pretty meaningless.

WG, I know you're a Duke fan, so it doesn't shock me that you're also a fan of the Iron Chefs. In both cases, fans are just looking to win, and nobody cares if, say, Duke gets some big breaks because Shane Battier falls down untouched and the "impartial" referees blow the whistle, or Sakai wins because he's the Iron Chef and therefore the judges feel that his creations must be better. It's fine because it's all part of the game -- especially because the beneficiaries happen to be the popular favorites.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


I think the whole 'competition' portion of the show is pretty meaningless.

The argument started because of your argument that (a) the judges are biased towards the Iron Chef, (b) Bobby Flay won despite that, therefore (c) Bobby Flay must be a great cook and not just a nasty, obnoxious twerp.

If the competition portion is, in fact, meaningless, which is what you are now arguing, then there is no reason to extol Flay's victory, so he is, in the end, just another obnoxious twerp.

And I resent this implication that I root only for established winners who get breaks. I am not pro-Iron Chef all the time. I am anti-Flay.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


if we have the George Foreman grill competition in my apartment with my mom, gradfather and childhood friend as three of the judges,

See, THAT I would watch.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


AB: Did you just stick you tongue out at me? Watch that or I'll chop it off (I can say things like that be cause I'm a mom)

Besides, if Allison is in, I think she and I could take you and Mike...anyday. (If not, nevermind, cause I'm a big chicken by myself)

Filet Flay (OMG, I'm so funny)

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


I'm not anti-Bobby, but I won't watch his show because of Jacqui, the yenta with all the teeth and pretentious name spelling.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001

The argument started because of your argument that (a) the judges are biased towards the Iron Chef, (b) Bobby Flay won despite that, therefore (c) Bobby Flay must be a great cook and not just a nasty, obnoxious twerp.

If the competition portion is, in fact, meaningless, which is what you are now arguing, then there is no reason to extol Flay's victory, so he is, in the end, just another obnoxious twerp.

But I'm arguing that it's meaningless because it's so weighted toward the Iron Chef. Ergo, Bobby Flay must have really kicked his ass for the judges to give him the victory. Ergo, he kicks ass, and Morimoto is an overrated wannabe.

I do agree that he's an obnoxious twerp.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


And so this representative of the Flaya-haters will call a timeout so she can, oh, get some actual work done.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001

People, you are all missing the POINT of the show.

To get drunk and laugh your ass off.

Rigged judging? Don't care, pass the tequila.

Bobby Flay sucks? That is true, pass the tequila.

The challenger brought in his sous chef from his restaurant, against the rules, and then punched him in the HEAD for not following orders? No he didn'! HA, he did! Pass the tequila twice.

Oh, and the Naked Chef? Lovely to look at, annoying to listen to. That lisp is irritating. Although the tequila helps.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


See, Slickery, you dis Stevie Ray in one thread and make me love you in this one. You are, indeed, correct in your assessment of the Iron Chef (!), the greatest show televison has ever witnessed.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001

Is there an Iron Chef drinking game?

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001

I'm never going to stop saying "Flaya-hater." Not in reference to myself, of course, because I love him.

I love Bobby Flay, okay?!? I caaaain't help it!

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


The Original Iron Chef Drinking Game

Someday I will get y'all to play the Attack the Gas Station! drinking game with me. I swear.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001


Oh. My. God. That is so on the agenda for any theoretical MATH + 1Con

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2001

Did you see the Broccoli Battle?

Somebody would have been AWFULLY drunk off the ice cream maker/non- dessert item presented as a dessert for the challenger. He made BROCCOLI ICE CREAM, people. And then tried to sprinkle gold flakes on it to make it good.

-- Anonymous, August 29, 2001


I'm sorry, but the broccoli...brocolli...brocorree, whatever. That ice cream idea was genius, I tell you. Pure, unadulterated genius. Even the judges said it was tasty.

And gold ribbon is bursting with flava.

-- Anonymous, August 29, 2001


Oh, they've made ice cream out of much worse. The squid battle comes to mind.

Also, the black pig battle where Sakai used a strip of bacon as a garnish for some other kind of ice cream.

-- Anonymous, August 30, 2001


The new episodes were about the only non-attack-related programming my poor self could watch this week, and let me tell you, dubbed Kaga: bad, bad, bad. And what's with the "Best of" condensed episodes? And Sakai was so not the first Iron Chef French. Boo.

I would, however, like to get in line behind Slickery for a taste of Alton Brown.

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001


Chris and I are very, very pissed off about the dubbed Kaga.

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001

They dubbed Kaga? How did I miss this? Are the new episodes already on? Why won't Alton Brown marry me?

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001

I think I missed new episodes! I saw a "Best of" show, and then we watched the spanish mackerel competition.

What is the guy's name who runs the show? It's his Kitchen Stadium. Who is he? We can't seem to catch his name.

Thanks, guys. Because I really needed another passive entertainment addiction.

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001


Robyn, what you're seeing are older episodes, from I believe 1994-96, before Food Network picked IC up in earnest. We're calling them "new" because Food Network hasn't broadcast them before, but they're actually much older than the "reruns".

The MC is Chairman Kaga; in later episodes he's subtitled, not dubbed, which is why we're all offended. It's true for anime fans and IC fans alike: once you go subtitled, you never go back.

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001


Kaga is the guy who owns Kitchen Stadium. Although really he's just an actor.

He was definitely dubbed in all of those damn "best of" eps. I really don't like those. If he's dubbed in all the new ones I'm going to be pissed. He has a great voice and this dubber sounds like a doof. A doof I say!

Which reminds me, my parents got a new cable system and now they have Food Network finally and love Iron Chef. My mother, however, is a nutjob. You know the guy who reports from the floor? You know how he says the commentator's name with "san"? (I don't know his name but that's how he always interrupts.) She is convinced he is saying "'Scusi san!" Apparently my mother believes the floor reporter is an Italian-Japanese reporter. Scusi san! Ha!

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001


I think it's Fukui-san (which I just mis-typed Fuck-ui san, but I digress). An Italian-Japanese commentator would be even better, though!

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001

It's "Fukui-san" that Ohta (or, rather, Ohta's dubber) is saying. The announcer's name is Fukui Kenji (in the Japanese style of having the last name first) and "san" is a common honorific; he's basically saying, "Mr. Fukui." I would guess that, when Fukui says, "Go, big fella," in Japanese, he isn't using an honorific.

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001

I can understand the subtitle lovin', but come on! The dubber for Kaga is the best of all! It's such a deep, dramatic voice, and it so matches his hair.

I want broccoli ice cream. Bad.

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001


As our very own T once wisely opined:

"Would you dub Elvis?"

I think that that is all that needs to be said about it.

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001


It's such a deep, dramatic voice, and it so matches his hair.

That's very funny, and quite true, but still. I prefer the natural, extra-crazy Kaga.

-- Anonymous, September 17, 2001


Now I'm pumped for this weekend! I need to hear Kaga's voice, and say "Fukai-san" over and over until someone throws a sneaker at my head.

Because I feel comfortable exposing myself to you guys, I'll tell you this: we no longer go out on Friday nights, because Antiques Roadshow is on, then Iron Chef, and then Dennis Miller. If we're VERY LUCKY, Pop Up Brady Bunch might be on after that.

Congratulate me! I'm half of the dorkiest couple in America.

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2001


Robyn, that must make you our clone couple because we are big into all of those shows here too. (Well, rog is into Dennis Miller. I think he stopped being funny or relevant about 400 rants ago.)

Also, we love Trading Spaces and already know who we would and would not want working on our room. Definitely Ty over Amy Wynn; Amy's fine but Ty is one cute, funny carpenter. Douglas would not be allowed within one mile of my home. That "designer" who really is a lamp maker and insists on putting ugly lamps (all with the same gold scrolly feet) in every room? She can stay away with Douglas. Hildy? Her rooms are okay but that painted couch was dumb. I wouldn't want to work with her though because she never does anything but sew and pose in her HEELS and jeans. Idiot. I like Vern Yip but rog doesn't. I would want to both work with Frank and have him do my room, which would be impossible but I am so in love with Frank. I like the red-haired designer whose name I am blanking on, she does great rooms. Genivieve is good too.

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2001


I think Ty and Genevieve are in lurve and it makes me want to paint her into a corner. Ah, sweet, sweet Ty.

Oh, anyway, go Iron CHEF!

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2001


Laurie is my favorite. I love every room I've seen her do. She's the redhead you're blanking on. Genevieve is fun, but she seems to kind of lose it on some of her projects. She can't have Ty. Or Doug. Ugly lamps or not, I'd like to play some Simon Says with him!

I wish Trading Spaces and Iron Chef would Trade Hosts for the a show. I want to see Kaga yukking it up with the designers, and Alex wearing a sequined cape.

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2001


oh! an Iron Chef/Trading Spaces cross-over, that'd be a little slice of entertainment heaven

Kaga: Today's secret ingredient, cedar paneling!

but they'd have to bring the commentators and the panel too...

"Fukai-san! The Iron Decorator is starting to paint the couch!" "What Ohta?!? are you sure?" "yes Fukai-san, she's says it will simulate faux leather or suede" "well I'm not sure about that, we'll just have to wait and see."

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2001


Ha! My husband is a funny, funny guy. Be jealous!

(Although I'm surprised you didn't have Fukui-san saying, "I hear it's quite common to paint your couch in the U.S.")

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2001


i would have if it was common, but *come on*! who in the right mind would look at a couch and say, "ya know? with a fresh coat of paint, this puppy would look fab, just like suede!"

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2001

Y'all. I was watching tv last night and the local CBS affilliate ran one of their emotional promos about the bravery and patriotism that emerged last week. While they showed images of firemen and civilians, soldiers and the president, I heard a familiar song in the background.

It was the opening music from Iron Chef. The music that plays when Ohta, or whoever, tells the history of Chairman Kaga and Kitchen Stadium. It was playing on the the news promo. I shit you not.

-- Anonymous, September 20, 2001


T, that actually doesn't surprise me -- apparently some of the Iron Chef music is from the soundtrack of Backdraft, which is a movie about brave firefighters.

-- Anonymous, September 20, 2001

Get out! I had no idea. Al? MOC? Is that in the book?

-- Anonymous, September 20, 2001

I'm not sure if it's in the book; more information is here.

-- Anonymous, September 20, 2001

I wish Trading Spaces and Iron Chef would Trade Hosts for the a show. I want to see Kaga yukking it up with the designers, and Alex wearing a sequined cape.

I just snarfed coffee up my nose at the thought of Alex bringing her AlexCam to the floor of Kitchen Stadium and bothering the chefs while they're cooking. I can see it now ... "Morimoto, what's with the squid ice cream? You know you're not going to finish on time, right?"

-- Anonymous, September 20, 2001


Come on! How can y'all leave me hanging on that? That's funny stuff.

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2001

Yes, hilarious.

Tonight! The Bamboo Shoot Battle!

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2001


wow, other people like Trading Spaces??? When I was employed-full- time-but-only-had-to-work-20-hours-weekly last fall, I watched those shows like a whore. Christopher Lowell was my most favorite, but Trading Spaces was right after, and I, um... had a secret girl crush on the hostess whose name is escaping me. Is it Alex? is she the original?
rrrowrrr.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2001

yeaaaaaah.

Just found the whole Trading Spaces thread.

Yall, will I ever catch up? Will I? I have been away from the MATH+1 for almost a MONTH. I don't know anything anymore.

Although... I did get a very special e-mail from Mike and I have been granted some kinda wonderful Bermanation status that I won't confess here.

I think he felt sorry for me.

-- Anonymous, September 22, 2001


I don't want to sound sour, but I'm starting to suspect that the judges may be just a little biased towards the Iron Chefs.

The Wizard of Seafood was robbed. I'm not saying he should have won, per se, but they were all so hyper critical of him! And Kaga totally knew that he had never seen that shell fish before.

And Ohta would not shut. the. hell. up.

What do you all think of the changes in the show?

-- Anonymous, September 23, 2001


I think the show rocks. I think the Wizard of Seafood was riding on his rep, and Chen beat him soundly and fairly.

-- Anonymous, September 24, 2001

As I've stated in previous posts, Chen is my man and I will defend him and his talents at any cost. My question, who else could make 5 incredible dishes out of bamboo in an hour? Oh, he won fair and square. Couldn't you just pinch those chipmunk cheeks? -ChenSans girl

-- Anonymous, September 24, 2001

I don't want to sound sour, but I'm starting to suspect that the judges may be just a little biased towards the Iron Chefs.

That's it, Robyn. Join me among those who know the truth others don't want to hear.

-- Anonymous, September 24, 2001


but that's the whole point, it's a King of the Hill battle and the guy at the top (Iron Chef) needs a challegener that'll scale the summit and then still have the power to push him off. nothing wrong with that, pure entertainment!

-- Anonymous, September 24, 2001

Mike, I only just read through the earlier posts. Back in the day when I was not yet turned on to the glory of IC, I just skimmed those posts because I didn't give a poot who Michichen Sankaga was.

I really didn't mean to open that can of worms, and I truly believe that if the ingredient were worms, Chen could make a gelatin and cucumber worm shishkebob style dessert that would have all the judges nodding and exclaiming over the suitability of kabobbing worms.

Now I see that Mike already took all the heat for this theory, and we should just get back to talking about Kaga's hair. Is it just me, or did he get it cut?

-- Anonymous, September 24, 2001


Holy Shit!

Ok, we're watching and... this is old school. I don't like it! No Moto-san?! OH! And the dubbed Kaga?! I hate it, but yes, the faux- English voice cracks me up.

All right. Sakai is about to throw down. Gotta go.

-- Anonymous, September 28, 2001


Sakai wrapped some whoopass in some fat netting, deep fried it, and served it up to that young grasshoppah.

Can that older lady, the culinary critic, be any more negative?

-- Anonymous, September 29, 2001


Oh, she is the worst. My favorite episode has her in it - when she tells Ron Siegle, "You know, when I first saw you, I really didn't expect much."

-- Anonymous, September 29, 2001

You guys are talking about the lamb battle, right? How much of a SLACKASS was the challenger??? TWO dishes?? And all of them smothered in truffles? Way to underachieve, maroon. And I know Sakai had at least four dishes' worth of lamb on his plates but they made him crowd it all together into three dishes so he wouldn't embarrass the challenger TOO much.

The Ichabod Crane looking taster was cracking me up. Completely expressionless, he'd chew and chew and chew and then ZAP! all of sudden he has a reaction. Like somebody stuck him with a cattle prod! Funny.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001


I know, Aidan. Two dishes. Kaga probably smacked him across the face backstage and was like "You shame Kitchen Stadium. You waste time of Sakai-san. He Iron Chef! You... tin foil chef!"

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2001

I feel that there is not enough discussion going on about Iron Chef.

Let's say Wolfgang Puck was in a green bean battle with Iron Chef Kobe. Who would win?

GO!

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2001


Oh, no contest. I mean, Wolfgang Puck is a puss.

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2001

Dude, WP would put some green beans on a pizza with barbeque chicken and fontina and then burst into tears realizing he had no other ideas.

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2001

How about a Poor Man's Iron Chef, pitting reps from Bennigan's against those from TGI Fridays? Who wins?

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2001

Dude, that's like pitting Pizza Hut against Godfathers.

*cough*Pizza Hut wins*cough

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2001


Yeah, but only because of the sheer variety of dishes. The breadsticks with marinara are particularly a nice touch, although the Fortune Teller lady might find them a little dry.

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2001

The culinary critic would say that the Giant Cookie doesn't correctly express the true flavor of the chocolate chip. And it's a little soft for her taste.

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2001

Well, Bennigan's clearly wins in the deep frying competition.

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2001

But Mrs. Fields wins for chocolate chip cookies. The judo champion likes the buttery flavor, and the M&Ms in her final dish puts her over the top.

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2001

Are you kidding me? Bennigans, hands DOWN.

The Wheelhouse Burger, people. The Meat of Cheese.

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2001


Bennigans gave me food poisoning while TGIF's gives me spinach and artichoke dip that is like a party in my mouth. Also, drinks as big as my head. TGIF wins!

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2001

Ruby Tuesday wins for the 72 oz. blue Megarita with candy gummy goldfish swimming through the alcoholic slush to give it an even more festive appearance.

Ole!

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2001


Slick, you know that you can buy TGIF spinach and artichoke dip in your frozen food section at the grocery, right? And it's so very good that you should really buy 3 or 4 boxes at once.

Ruby Tuesday used to own me because of the garden burger, but my heart belongs to Red Lobster now. You cannot deny the Ultimate Fondue.

Confronted with the Ultimate Fondue, the Wizard of Seafood bows his head in shame.

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2001


I know Robyn. I found it once and it was GOOOOOOOOD. And now no store has it. Bastards.

Ooo, does Red Lobster still have those cheese biscuits? There are no Red Lobsters here and they are goooooood too.

-- Anonymous, October 05, 2001


Not only does the Lobster still serve those biscuits, but you can buy a big old box of them from that frozen food vendor whose name I can't recall. I'll try and track it down.

Aside, the Lobster no longer serves cheddar mashed potatoes here. They said there were complaints. About cheese. On potatoes.

-- Anonymous, October 05, 2001


Where do you live Robyn? Moscow?

-- Anonymous, October 06, 2001

Yes. State College, Pennsylvania. Town of the Stepford Students.

-- Anonymous, October 06, 2001

heh heh. maybe those people are lactose intolerant. caiiin't be havin' no cheese up in there!

IMO, garlic potatoes are best though. one italian restaurant served 'em. mmm mmm goood.

oh yeah, the cheese biscuits from zee Lobster are deliiish. grandma actually has the recipe to make them, but never has. I bet she could though.

-- Anonymous, October 06, 2001


Hey -- the rest of my family went to Penn State, and yet they have no problems with cheese on mashed potatoes. What's with this year's students?

Actually, I'd love to see an Iron Chef mashed potato battle. For real.

-- Anonymous, October 07, 2001


Mike, I'll be enlisting your family in my battle to reclaim the cheesy mashed potato goodness at the Lobster. I'll be fighting to liberate the Ultimate Fondue and make it free, as it should be.

The students every year just look the same. I don't know if they contributed to the potato problem, and this is just one theory amongst many, but someone declared a mandatory ponytail and exposed belly policy, and cel phone must be held to the ear at all times. No exceptions. They don't seem to be talking. I think they are receiving instructions from their leader. It's quite frightening.

Back on topic - I'm all sad for the commentator guy who lost. And we started our own Iron Chef drinking game, but we are working on modifications because we couldn't swallow fast enough (shut up!). Ohta seemed to be slacking on the job, too.

-- Anonymous, October 07, 2001


I am truly sad for you peeps who don't have Cheddar Bay Biscuit cheesy goodness near you. I make them at home from the recipe on the Bisquick box but they're not as good as at the restaurant, straight out of the oven. MMMMMMMmmmm...

So, the truffle battle. When they were unveiling the theme ingredient, my husband was like, "What is that, charcoal? Tonight's theme ingredient -- KINGSFORD!" BWAH!

-- Anonymous, October 08, 2001


Sweet Jesus! Tonight on Iron Chef: The Japanese Evangelist of Mexican Cuisine goes against Kutie Kobe!

Love it! GO!

-- Anonymous, October 14, 2001


And once again, the challenger gets hosed!

Just kidding. This one, even I'd have voted for the Iron Chef, since the challenger's main dish was skimpy on the mangos, which is a no-no.

But I loved the smack-talking.

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2001


I finally checked out the American Iron Chef website.

Horrifying. William Shatner? Puhfuckinglease.

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2001


Nuts. I missed the mango battle. I didn't know it was on Sundays until too late. Seeing Iron Chef on Friday, Saturday and Sunday would please me three ways!

Who's taken the Iron Chef Trivia quiz on foodtv.com?

And thanks Al and everyone else on this thread who's got me watching the show.

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2001


18 correct out of 26. I am humiliated.

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2001

I hate to get back off-topic with the spinach dip, but

NO! NO!

and I say to you again NO!

Do not even think of a hot spinach dip any place until you have eaten it at Houston's. Despite the Texophiliac name, you can actually eat at Houston's all over the country. It is spinach and parmesan cheese and artichoke hearts and comes with tostada chips and sour cream and salsa and it is to. die. for. Supposedly this is the secret recipe and it looks accurate, but I have not tried it and cannot say with 100% certainty.

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2001


WG - I scored worse but my excuse is I've only watched for a few weeks. Missed the robstah battle!

If spinach was the theme ingredient, would the Japanese Evangleist of Mexican Cuisine make spinach dip?

(Japanese/Mexican cuisine? Hand roll with refritos? Tomatillo tempura?)

-- Anonymous, October 15, 2001


I want the challenger Sushi Man from the Bonito Battle to come live with ME! Did you see the sushi platter he won the sushi championship with??? TO DIE FOR!!!

But alas, he lost. Even with six dishes to Sakai's three, he lost.

Then there was the abundance of desserts on Sunday's asparagus battle. Asparagus Bavarian cream, asparagus ice cream, AND asparagus Sno Cones. Um, BLECH.

-- Anonymous, October 22, 2001


I saw the Lamb Battle on Saturday night - I LOVED it when the actor guy said, "Oh, this lamb is awfully...rare. It almost has a foul taste!"

-- Anonymous, October 22, 2001

I missed that one, T, but Bitchy Fortuneteller was her usual charming self on Sunday. She told Morimoto about one of his dishes, "You have offended our taste buds." Speaking for the whole panel! That hag.

Morimoto just bowed, but you could see the pain in his eyes.

-- Anonymous, October 22, 2001


And yet he won! They hated half of Morimoto's dishes; they complained about the first with the egg dip being too sour. They had very little good to say and raved about the other guy but Iron Chef wins. I'm all about the Iron Chef being the one to beat but that was a travesty.

-- Anonymous, October 22, 2001

I'm all for Morimoto-san winning, but I was confused by the outcome too. The Fortuned Teller/Food Critic also dissed one of his dishes for having "too many flavors."

Her criticism of the appetizer was pretty harsh. But the funniest part of the whole show was when the actress was going on in some nonsensical fashion about one of Morimoto's dishes and he looked totally confused.

Oh, and the bonito battle. I thought it was funny when the challenger wouldn't talk to Ohto-san. Ohto sounded hurt. Aidan, can the challenger be my personal chef when you're had enough sushi? Thanks.

I was a little disappointed though. I missed the very beginning, or wasn't paying attention. When I saw the challenger standing there with the other chef, I thought maybe it was the episode where the challenger brought his sous chef against the rules and punched him in the head. I'm dying to see that one. Mainly for the announcer's reactions.

The panel did rave about the asparagus sno cones. What was in those anyway?

American Iron Chef is on November 16th, I think. But it'll pale in comparison.

-- Anonymous, October 22, 2001


Melissa, I can never have enough sushi. So you can come over and share the fruit of Mr. Sushi's labors with me.

SWEET BEANS!! The damned asparagus sno cones had sweet beans in them! And you're so right, I can't BELIEVE Morimoto won, I turned the channel thinking the challenger had won in a landslide! (Sopranos were coming on, doncha know.) They had NOTHING nice to say about Morimoto-san! What the hell?

Yes that airhead actress was insane, "I feel like I'm in the clouds, looking over everything..." And that would be related to eating asparagus HOW, exactly?

Pineapple, if you're out there, I made that Houston's spinach and artichoke dip this weekend. I've never had Houston's so I don't know if it's the same, but it was DAMN GOOD. It made a VAT which we have already completely devoured. Thank you!

-- Anonymous, October 22, 2001


Thanks for the invite Aidan!

I remember now where I was going with the "too many flavors" thing. Reminded me of the movie "Amadeus" and the King telling Mozart he used "too many notes."

The asparagus wrapped with bacon looked yummy. When asparagus comes back in season in the spring I'm going to try it. It's about the only thing in the show I've seen that I could ever hope to replicate.

-- Anonymous, October 22, 2001


Gah! SO many good battles lately!

And, have you heard? A marathon will take place the day after Thanksgiving! You simply have to watch. There's nothing better than an Iron Chef marathon. Last New Year's Day, the MOC and I watched the entire thing. It was about 12 hours. We had a blast.

Here's something else: I have changed my opinion of the Kaga-dubbing. I still think he's better unsullied by dubbing, of course, but the guy who does the Kaga voice is (as someone said above) clearly as crazy as he is. Kaga comes across as really annoyed when he's dubbed in that beginning clip. He's always all "Look, just take my word for it. Eat the meat of the carrot."

That is a direct quote.

If they released every episode of Iron Chef on DVD, I would by them all. What am I going to do when they get through all the episodes and don't show them anymore?!

-- Anonymous, November 13, 2001


YES! The Iron Chef marathon. I was ALL excited when I saw the promos this weekend. We will have to come back from the mo-in-laws Thursday night. I can't miss ANY of it. It starts at 9am here on the west coast.

And to top it off, the Morimoto-Flay rematch! I haven't seen it, or the original match for that matter.

American Iron Chef is this Friday on UPN. Check your local listings. Will you be watching?

-- Anonymous, November 13, 2001


Aidan, yay! This is me, constantly trying to pull this thread away from the topic of Iron Chef, but I'm glad to hear someone tried that recipe and it was tasty. People hear "hot spinach and artichoke dip? with salsa???" and start gagging, but it really is appetizer divinity.

Okay, leaving Iron Chef Thread for real now.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2001


I can't stand it when the Iron Chef thread is less important than some other thread.

Y'all, they had a LETTUCE battle the other day. Or maybe it was cabbage. Has no one been watching?! Must you hurt me this way?

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2001


Al, baby, you know we don't got no cable in Smyrna!

But we do in New Orleans, which is where we'll be for Thanksgiving.

GO!

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2001


I'm having a hard time adjusting to the new format. Are these older versions or newer than the versions that I adore with my statesman and forturne teller...oh, the long table, I miss the long table. so much more personal. And where in the name of our Dear Lord did they get that scholar-guy. He is Mr. McImaPretentiousAsshole. And knows a disturbingly lot about the way food makes him feel (ah, creepy).

I have also seen the Bonito battle about 4 times in the last month. If Sakai wasn't soo suave and debonaire, (suave and debonaire? where did that come from?) I might be a bit perturbed.

But we all know that Chen rocks my world and I will watch for eternity just for a glimpse of that sweet little smile.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2001


All the Buffy reruns on FX as well as Trading Spaces have blocked out all other cult shows for me.

Though the commercial for American Iron Chef last night both attracted and repelled me.

First Todd English was there and Todd English? (Or Engrish if you prefer) is a Hottie McStudly. So I'm all over that.

And William Shatner was biting into something, in what I think is the parellel to the yellow pepper shot, and he had this huge, self- mocking grin that just screamed, "I know the reason I am here is because I'm hugely cheesy and that's cool!" And I love Shatner when he's able to laugh at himself.

But there were some things that made me want to run. The audience shots was a biggie. Comments about the girls loving Todd and they were acting like they were at WWF - signs, standing and yelling and cheering. Y'all, that's just too American for my Iron Chef needs.

And then Todd with the winking while whisking and it just seemed like the whole thing, on both sides, will be just like Flay was in his battles with the boasting and the working the audience and the concentration on everything BUT the cooking.

The reason I love Iron Chef is because they take it so seriously, it's a game show but it's reverent to the food and the culture and the training and all that. This American thing? It's all about the hype and the hype, my friends, is not the cousin for me.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2001


According to www.ironchef.com, "The Friday show (10pm, 1am ET) is a new one. Saturday's show (10pm, 1am ET) is a repeat of a recently aired Friday show and Sunday's show (7pm ET) is an even older repeat."

So Barb, that explains why you've seen the Bonito battle twice. I wondered about that myself.

I haven't seen the American Iron Chef promos, Slickery, so I was interested in your post. (Sorry, I couldn't come up with anything better than 'interested.' It sounds so, I don't know, bland. Perhaps riveted? Fascinated? Too gushy.) Anyway, I'm going to watch. But I'm not going to like it either if it's too WWF.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 2001


Oh somebody please tell me they watched that American Iron Chef crap!!!

You know when the best thing about your show is William Shatner, you're in trouble. The chefs were ridiculously arrogant and even worse, uninteresting. The challenger, supposedly the "personality" of the cooking world? The secret ingredient, crabs, had more personality than that burnt stump. The Iron Chef thought he was George Clooney and was SORELY mistaken.

Sissy Biggers was a horrible, incompetent Ohta. She would run over to the chefs and say, "What's that you're making?" and they'd either say, "It's a secret!" or "Crab." She never knew a goddamned thing about what they were doing. The cameras hardly EVER showed them cooking. No, it concentrated on showing the screaming, roaring audience with their WWF-style posterboards, and the retarded Bobby Flay-esque PUMP IT UP! "entertainment" by the Iron Chef.

Oh it was bad.

-- Anonymous, November 19, 2001


What she said. Bad, bad, bad. Everything I feared and worse.

Also, they actually tried to play off this crap that William Shatner founded some cooking school and then created Kitchen Stadium. Dude, whatever.

And theme ingrediant dungess crab? That's easy, people, I could make 5 dishes with dungess crab.

-- Anonymous, November 19, 2001


I missed American Iron Chef. I checked the TV Guide channel Friday night but no mention. And I was too lazy to go dig out the TV schedule from last Sunday's paper to see when it might be on. Sounds like it's a good thing I missed it.

The marathon Friday's going to be tricky. First problem is, I don't think I can sit for 11 hours straight. Then there's the TV problem, we have one for three people and there's three marathons on: Iron chef, Junkyard Wars on TLC and Looney Tunes on Cartoon Network! What are couch potatoes to do?

Did you see the Turkey battle last night? Would you eat turkey sashimi? Can you say E. coli?

-- Anonymous, November 19, 2001


Anybody else see Saturday's episode (the duck battle)? I've never seen two chefs more ... I don't know ... relaxed. They sauntered up to get the duck, took their time chopping it up ... it was very odd.

-- Anonymous, November 19, 2001

I fell asleep during American Iron Chef. Y'all, was it just me or was there no explanation of what they were doing at all? And they kept showing the onfloor announcer asking what each chef was doing, and Todd English would give her some non sequiter non food related answer.

I mean, I love Todd English's food like you wouldn't believe, but I think I hate the man.

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2001


From foodtv.com, on the question of biased judging:

A: Hard to say. Being an Iron Chef is sort of like having tenure at a university; it carries a lot of weight and makes it difficult for the Iron Chef to lose. Also, because of editing viewers don't see and hear all the tasting comments, so it's possible that additional comments contributed to the judges' final scoring.

So I suppose it all depends on how you feel about tenure.

And yes, I printed out a Bobby Flay cornbread pudding recipe. But he didn't write it.

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2001


Turkey SASHIMI? Please tell me you're kidding. Please.

You're right, the American Iron Chef show had almost no emphasis on cooking at all. All I saw was some crabs getting sliced in half LIVE and the challenger making a sauce with Emeril's boat motor. If my memory serves me correctly (HA!), that sauce was the only time EITHER of them discussed the ingredients to any depth. And floppy-haired challenger looked like he regretted it immediately.

No, the emphasis is instead on the crowd producing this fake competitive atmosphere. Again, it most closely resembles a freakin wrestling match! I mean I'm sure some of them were rabid Todd English fans but dozens of them holding up signs that say "We love you Todd!!!"? For a CHEF? Come on. I think anyone who cares that much about a chef is more interested in watching him cook than watching him high-five his assistants and "raise the roof."

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2001


Mike, I did see Duck Battle on Saturday - I thought it was a re-run? And, I also was thoroughly bored. "Tra la la, here's some duck... tra la la... here's a duck crepe with hoisin sauce." I thought the dishes were very uninspired.

Can I confess that I also always thought they were saying "Scusi-San?"

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2001


PG, maybe they said "Scusi-san?" because they felt sorry for poor Iron Chef Italian, who is hardly ever called to a challenge.

The Turkey Battle is a rerun, and the turkey shashimi is, hands-down, the most vile thing I've ever seen on that show.

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2001


www.foodtv.com has some new Iron Chef merchandise. T-shirts, hats, mugs and my favorite, the Fukui-san t-shirts. Just in time for Christmas!

Morimoto made the turkey sashimi. It was a special Christmas episode.

-- Anonymous, November 20, 2001


So Kobayashi the cute challenger who cut her hand in minute ONE was totally robbed. That was last night.

And not to be totally rude and crude, but that abalone battle during the marathon: who ordered cow pussy on the half shell? STILL ALIVE AND WRITHING? Oh my GOD I nearly vomited.

-- Anonymous, November 26, 2001


According to chefmorimoto.com, Morimoto-san is due to attend the upcoming Annual Poke Festival.

I'm giggling way too hard. Because I am a moron.

Also, the Food Network will be airing a Making Of special on his new restaurant next February.

-- Anonymous, November 26, 2001


OH! MY! GOD!

I was just reading the Iron Chef Conpendium and its states that Korn (remember Korn, crazy singer judge with glasses and gold chains) was the voice of Chef on a Japanese episode of South Park!

How great is that!!!!!

-- Anonymous, December 14, 2001


Who saw the Tuna Battle?!?

SALT CRUSTED EYEBALLS.

-- Anonymous, December 14, 2001


Good LORD, the eyeballs. ON SKEWERS!!! When he was cutting out that cheek meat and the eyeballs kept getting jostled, I thought I would vomit. But then when he put them on skewers AND BAKED THEM, I had to change the channel.

Did you catch that was a $10,000 fish? DAMN.

-- Anonymous, December 17, 2001


Eyeballs aside, that tuna looked so good! Because of that episode, I had to go out and get some sushi the very next night. No eyeballs though.

-- Anonymous, December 17, 2001

Al always busts on me because there hasn't been a dish prepared on iron Chef that I would not gobble down in a millisecond.

Sheep liver on a bed of tenderly sauteed cow's intestines, flavored with winter melon and sapphron? Not a problem?

Raw sea urchin roe, served on a bed of seaweed and covered in a lobster brain sauce? Yum yum!

But I hit the wall with the grilled eyeballs. I kept hoping that he would do something else besides grilled them. But he didn't. I'm kind of sad that they have finally created a dish I would balk at eating.

-- Anonymous, December 17, 2001


Who did the salt-crusted eyeballs? I'm betting Morimoto.

-- Anonymous, December 17, 2001

I think it was Michiba.

-- Anonymous, December 17, 2001

Oh yeah, had to change the channels while he was cutting out the eyeballs. When they tasted it, the panel was all "Ooooh, mmmmm!" They loved it. Erck.

I'm with Kim though, I had some serious hankering for some sushi, eyeballs notwithstanding.

-- Anonymous, December 17, 2001


I think it was Michiba.

Michiba-san, yes. Morimoto's predecessor.

Eyeballs on skewers. Man, oh man. That was awesome. I could not believe it. We were shivering with horror.

-- Anonymous, December 17, 2001


"shivering with horror"

This has made my day. Allison, thank you for being so funny.

The eyeball skewering was like seeing a car wreck or other tragedy...you don't want to look, but you just can't take your eyes away...is this awesome TV or what?

-- Anonymous, December 17, 2001


And the guy with the Longest Knife in Japan. I couldn't stop laughing over that.

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

Do you think he was compensating for something?

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

Not only did he have the Longest Knife, it was encased in the Fanciest Sheath, all gold lame' with ropes and all. Kaga implored him to unsheath it so he could admire its largeness. I was all, "Honey, with those outfits, people are ALREADY talking..."

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001

The Kaga is Creepily Gay in a Liberace Way subtext is a fascinating one to explore.

Japan's Largest Knife!!! The way they kept saying it!

Our new favorite thing to do when watching Iron Chef is to try and guess who the challenger was disowned by before they tell you. Because many of them have been disowned. I am still shocked whenever I see that one battle where the challenger's wife left him and then Fukayi-san reads a letter from her with 10 minutes to go.

Last weekend had TWO disownings, I think. The Wielder of Japan's Biggest Knife was temporarily estranged from his father, if I remember correctly (or, "if memory serves me right...").

-- Anonymous, December 19, 2001


Al, I am dying because I've noticed that too! The Longest Knife guy had been disowned by his father, who was there IN THE STUDIO during the battle! They had reunited like, fifteen minutes before the show! Why don't they also unleash rabid dogs during the competition, to up the pressure a little bit? The reading of the Dear John letter?!! I mean even Sally Jesse Raphael sends people backstage with a counselor if they need it. Sheesh.

I have found that if these Japanese people see a hook, they will harp on it the ENTIRE hour. The guy's wife left him? It will be mentioned at least every thirty seconds. The challenger is unusually old? He's weak! He's losing his touch! He's got dementia! He's older than rocks! They really have no shame. Way to welcome a challenger, man.

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2001


My shame is complete! No one has posted about Iron Chef in more than a month!

I go now to throw myself upon my vegetable peeler.

-- Anonymous, January 31, 2002


I think you could win a vegetable peeler battle.

-- Anonymous, January 31, 2002

Is it just me, or is everyone challenging Morimoto nowadays?

-- Anonymous, April 06, 2002

I think they are pimping Morimoto around because he is opening a new restaurant and has a show about it coming out. I saw the overtime cook-off tonight - what was with the psychic woman? She was practically giving Morimoto a blowjob because his food was so good, then she voted for the challenger?

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2002

I think you're right about pimping the new restaurant. From what I hear (please, like I'd pay 100 dollars for a sampler menu!),it's a total ripoff. Supposedly the portions are really small and the food not awe-inspiring.

If anyone decides to go, come visit. I only live about 4 blocks away.

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2002


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