well would you believe it, I know broon on tap was fairly pervasive on tap at one stage but I've just been drinking a spot or eight of the amber necter, or should that be the wonderfully red necter, and thoroughly enjoyed it (along with me $7.50 roast almb at the The William Wallace hotel of all places). Now I know this divides the punters like a good Gazza thread (how many more times, he wondered self consciously) so do the punters rate the 'One and Only'? Answers on a postcard...

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Answers

...or on here maybe.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Been drinking Broon on tap for a while here in Western Oz and while it will never replace the bottle with schooner glass it ain't a bad drop. It's also quite popular with the locals.

Says me sitting here drinking bottles of Stella.......?

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

To my everlasting shame I hate the bloody stuff. Never could stand it when I was young, hate the taste even more now.

Donkey's piss.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Hat, coat...

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Astounds me when I see people drinking the p!ss in a real ale pub, when they could be quaffing Mordue Radgie Gadgie, or Big Lamp Prince Bishop Ale, or Durham Magus, or Hadrian Centurion, or (getting a tad Southern) Timothy Taylor Landlord, or (getting further Southern) Greene King Abbot Ale, or (getting all-out mosey-on-down-the-rub-a- dub-for-some-jellied-eels-and-a-knees-up) Fuller London Pride.

Doubly astounds me when they introduce a mystique and pretend that drinking the p!ss from a half pint glass in any way improves it.

The idea that Geordies should show any loyalty to Scottish Courage Breweries (purveyors of p!ss) is laughable.

Apart, that is, from the small matter of once sponsoring some football team.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

don't forget ya high heels.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

if you wanna drink dog.... and i sometimes do...... then a cant think of anything but from the bottle and the traditional half-pint glass.....

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

It's canny - but has got to be served cold; at room temperature it's not a pleasant experience. I've had it on draught in New York and Florida and it's always chilled to buggery - couldn't see the Americans going for it otherwise.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

I can't abide the thought of having dog from a tap, it's simply not right. Doesn't have the same consistancy as the good ole bottled dog does. It would be like drinking tea from an awld boot.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Still drink it, but not always the top of my beer drinking agenda. Best drunk very cold, with a chaser close behind.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

It would be like drinking tea from an awld boot.

Well done Syme - I'm always impressed by the exhaustive and painstaking research that must go into findings of this sort - I'll take your word for it. :-)

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Ye knaa wot a meen tho, right? We were so poor we didn't have cups.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Double Maxim is better though.......

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

It makes a nice shandy!!!!!!!!

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

A nice shandy? I don't believe it!

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

It's true! I cannot take my beer and have been known to resort to this drink. Call myself a Geordie! I'm a disgrace.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Slightly off-topic, but is anything more mind-numbingly boring than real ale arty-farties bleating on about anyone drinking anything other than the latest brew of 'Black Sheep', 'Old Peculiar', 'Pickety Witch' or the particularly aptly-named 'Old Fart'?

These pedants with a superiority complex have become as odious as other cults who seek to ridicule and exclude those who don't blindly follow their particular persuasion. It's only a drink ffs - get a life!

'Black Sheep' shandy (!!), or a draft Ex anyone?

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Been on the wine gums again Clarky, or was the smell of the vines in Shampoo country a tad to ostrong for you? There's nowt wrong with an Old Fart, or indeed it's stable companion Brewer's Droop. I'm not saying there's nowt else mind, but a trad ale is quite nice (!). I've a few Spitfire's left after our trip thru Kent. Mind, the neigbours complain aboot the noise they make - but nowt different from Old Fart ;-)

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Don't get me wrong Screach - I love the odd pint of 'real ale' or three. However, I preserve the right, depending how I feel, to have the choice to drink 'Old Peculiar' or draft or bottled Dog, or even a Black Sheep shandy if I feel like it - without some pratt droning in my lug about my frothy-fluid hedonism.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Not to worry Lynda - one of the greatest living Geordies never touches alcohol at all - Peter Beardsley.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

re dog: I used to drink it straight from the bottle in the Pig and Whistle and Robinsons.Totally pissed after a few then get into a football related dust-up on the x97/x98 from Worswick street.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Jeez kev, sounds like you used to frequent the same bars as me, if I'd only known................;)

What the name of the bar next door to the old bus station at the bottom of Northumberland street, just past the firestation. Served dog in bottles for 79p. cue another nostalgia thread.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Can,t remember the bar you are on about.Do you mean where the italian restaurants are? Or do you meanbehind the bus station? That bar now is called Wilders.Bit of a hippy joint now i believe.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Divvent knaa what's there now, it's been many years since I staggered down that way. It was right next door to the bus stop at the bottom of the hill. It definatly wasn't a nice joint, it was full of bus drivers waiting to go to work.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Brown Ale does bring out the argumentative tendencies in people, sometimes violent too, when I was a pubescent youth my mates mother used to plead with him to stay off the broon when he was older, in the lull of a heated arguement, as I sat thinking "I shouldn't be here". Funnily enough every time my mate drinks the stuff he ends up looking for some rights to wrong, but then again he's always been violent with drink. Lovely bloke sober, bad news drunk.

I have to really fancy it before I get a bottle and it has to be icy, even then after 3 I change to something else.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Served dog in bottles for 79p. cue another nostalgia thread.

Cue nostalgia indeed. My first bottle of Dog cost 1/6d (7.5p) and we were offended in 1 pub to be charged 2/-d. I resolved to give it up when it reached 2/6d (12.5p)! :-)

Me and my mate Stevie Henderson (aka Secret Squirrel for some unknown reason) would combine our pennies as 13/14-y-os and nip into "the Snug" at The Blake Arms Seghill to purchase a bottle "for me dad". We would gaze in wonderment through the snug window looking for the sin and debauchery which must be going on in the bar beyond. Through thick smoke, men in flat caps could be seen lifting pints and scowling at kids peering through the snug window! In those days, the interior of a pub was forbidden territory and kids were never allowed near them as they are now. Why would you need a "child's play area" in a pub? They could play aall ower the bliddy village - the bar was probably the sole escape from us for the male of the household.

We would then nip across to the fields by Bonnivard Gardens, lay in the grass out of sight of the road and sip the illicit liquid with some trepidation because neither of us had acquired the taste yet! Still, it tasted aall reet, we would take a sip, smack our lips and give a big sigh as though we had just downed a quart of gin. I remember once we got a pint of Amber by mistake, and the vileness of the taste was beyond our imagining. How could people possibly like this stuff? Still - we were hard lads - we'd shelled out 1/6d - so we finished it, faces contorted in agony! :-) Occasionally we had enough pennies to buy 2 tabs and would lie there under the starlight, watching the glow of the ash as we sucked in the deadly smoke, and struggled hard not to cough. :-)

It's aall reet this business of getting a few years behind you. It's nice to look back with wonder at the rapidity of the change all around you, and also to see the things that remain constant. Sometimes the nostalgia can bring an almost unbearable melancholy, especially when I recall the tremendous love with which I was raised during those days of mystery and wonder...

I'm off to Tesco's for me first "Dog" in quite some time. Cheers all.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

RAOTFLMAO. We did the same with cider, except we could afford the 1 pund it cost to get a big bottle (or two) through it doon me throat to get pissed really fast like and then puke everywhere. For years I couldn't even bear the smell of cider, I am alright now like.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

We were more into experimenting with stuff to smoke - usually domestic 'materials' as we couldn't afford proper tabs. We tried everything imaginable, even short lengths of rope!

The prize for the vilest taste went to a roll-up of tea-leaves in a Rizzler - yuk, can still taste it! The most serviceable material proved to be cinnamon sticks that generated a sweet but not unpleasant smoke, and smouldered very nicely creating the correct effect. Never could master blowing smoke-rings though.

By the time we reached the age of sophistication - about 10, or just possibly 11, we had graduated to smoking pipes, with real baccy - retrieved from the dumps we collected from our Dad's smokes.

One of the defining experiences of my formative years was sitting on a garden wall in short pants, puffing on my pipe - when along came this big, plump, rough sort of lass who stole me pipe, right out of my mouth. I was terrifed she would give me good thumping, so she just walked away puffing on it, madly.
Never saw her or me pipe again - that's women for you!

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

I plead guilty to being a real ale arty-farty and must declare a particular interest as I occasionally write on the subject for American publications (and there the impression of British ale, real or otherwise, is of a particularly viscous pondwater perhaps tinged with a hint of cough-mixture).

I entirely respect your right to drink Old Pec, Dog, Fosters or even the no-longer-Mackem Double Maxim (though I think if I were dictator I'd remove anyone's right to drink Tartan Keg). In a practical sense you'll always have that right as well - keg bitters and British lagers are always available. That is not the case with real ale and is getting less so by the month. The Fighting Cocks, recently a legendary real ale pub, has reverted to its former existence as a Scotch Ale/Ex dive. The Benton Ale House has started getting in the same indifferent guest ales - usually Cameron's - and serving them up fekking well chilled. It's getting very hard to find a decent ale other than in certain student pubs (Chili Arms for one) where you have to wait for posh-voiced fekkers to finish paying for their round by cheque.

Anyway, more on this later or tomorrow. I am genuinely off out pub- wards now.

(PS I write as someone who - as an experiment - once tried to get drunk on Top Deck shandy. Can't be done.)

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

what the feck happened to this thread its alllll backwards and upside down (nee jokes)

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Syme aboot on yer wot knaa divvent Aah.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

What on earth has happened to the bbs tonight? Thanks for the post syme - I thought it was my PC that was screwed up.
I've e-mailed Macbeth to see if he knows what the hell has happened - it only occurred about 30 minutes ago!!

Shagspeare,

I wasn't getting at you marra - your post simply brought to mind a pet peeve of mine. I do realise the RA Lobby fulfill a valuable role in battling the large breweries, it's just that a lot of ultra real-ale devotees are truly a pain in the proverbial.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Phew - thank goodness fer that. Aah thowt aah wez standin' on me heed. Anyboddy knaa wot wez rang??

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Screacha aah said nee jokes!! am thinking it might be some makem sabotage afoot

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Definitely karate-water the Broon. Always makes me pot-valiant and doesn't your arse stink the next day?!?!? Always makes a lovely sauce though.

Also preferred Double Maxim.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Broon on tap is nasty. Much prefer it in the bottles, but I've always been such a slow drinker that I'm used to the taste of everything at room temperature. CAn't remember the last time I finished anything while still cool. ;-)

What is 'real ale'? I admit to being a plebe when it comes to the various terms and tend to call it all 'beer'. I never touched the stuff until I was in my early 20's and was taken to an Irish bar in NYC and someone put a pint of Bass in front of me. Hated the p*sswater American beers had been until microbreweries became popular. Whatever the term, I need a beer/ale/whatever to have some flavour to it! Still puzzles me how Bud has become so popular in Ireland and England. I'd rather drink out of the toilet. ;-)

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

I do not know how he became popular in Ireland, but I think he is popular in parts of England because he appears on the bbs semi regularly!

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

Broon ale nowadays with so many brands on the market is probably an overated drink , reputation fueled over the years by many colourful stories, some true, most stretched to breaking point. The hospital ward in the Toon dedicated only to Broon Ale Victims was I think a myth, please correct me if I am wrong . At 4.8 vol it was more than likely the quantity rather than the quality , having said that I like the odd bottle , and one must drink it out of a schooner,!!! Must admit one thing tho , never mix the broon with the water of life , I did for a while and it brought out my agressive nature.

Real Ale, never ever been convinced ,how many of us have been invited to sample Home Brew ?, you sit their drinking the stuff,your pal the brewer waiting expectantly for your decision,priming you with the home brewers catchphrases of "Blaa your heed off", Good eh,only fowerpence a pint to mek, you nod in agreement when you know the ale is dire. Last Friday sitting in the pub at 4pm , quiet pint , setting up for our football knock-out when in walked Alex Salmond ex leader of the SNP and his entourage , plus local TV , occassion was to pull the first pint of Real Ale "Independence" @£2 a pint. I guarantee it will last no more than two weeks , bliddy flat insipid , as Billy Connelly once remarked "The only accompmanient to Real Ale is a bunch of polo neck ganzies singing the Wild Rover" did he say that or was it just me.!!!, My fav drink for taste and strength many years ago, a pub between Sunniside and Lobley Hill, Marquis of Granby I think, landlord kept a fine pint of Newcastle Exhibition from the wood*****

Confession time, and a lot of punters agree with me, lager this time, I cannot stand Kestrel bliddy lager from the tap, nor can most, How is it then ,when you finish your day`s graft and go straight home Kestrel from a tin is pure bliss,a totally different taste.?

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

BTW, Forgot to mention, Jonno your posting did take me back , so real, shopkeepers morals eh!, they would split up a 5 packet of Turf to sell a youngster two, tekking an empty pop bottle back to fill up with beer with instructions to gan to the shop and git 10 Woodbines and some clay pipe baccy , and if they ask tell them your granny is not weel. nay bliddy wonder she was not weel, supping the beer,smokin woody`s and a pipe and tekkin snuff badly I might add, jes needed chowin baccy and a fish supper and the smashin hard grafting wifie that she was would have had the full set. Peering into the snug was easy , if you had actually seen inside the bar, a hero is born, stories to tell,mind my first toot, four at the bar, aal my relations , oh happy days

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

gus, I think "semi-irregular" would be much more fitting!?

With a real name like mine (as opposed to my "unreal ale" monicker), why wouldn't I be popular in Ireland?

How about a new comp.; most bars, cities, countires, continents?

;7)

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

They call it 'dog' and 'piss' but to me it tastes of dog piss.

-- Anonymous, August 09, 2001

LOL Buff! Yes you used to take back the empty pop bottles for 3d each. Several times we've gone round the back of the Bee Hive in Seghill, nicked a few empty bottles oot the empties crate and gone round the snug to cash them in for some bags of crisps (yes, the ones with a bag of salt in!)

Empty pop bottles and loose tabs were standard units of currency. I remember that Thursday night was a must in front of the TV for the Jonno family. There was Man from Uncle, United! (the footie soap) and some other unforgettable programme whose name escapes me. Unfortunately, it was the day before me mam's payday and the TV had to be fed with tanners (2.5p pieces for the under 35 clique). This Thursday night she was skint and 1/6d had to be obtained for the night's viewing. This was painstakingly assembled by the liberation of 2 pop bottles from the back of The Bee Hive, 2 pop bottles in the hoose, and 2 tabs that me mam sacrificed from her evening's smoke ("the only bit pleasure I get") and were sold to a passing friend in the street. PPV at £50 a year? Bye - ye'd need a few pop bottles for that!

You try telling the kids of today that - and they won't believe you. :-)

I'm glad you like warm beer Ciara. My Prof at Keele University was American. Les Fishman. Never taught us any economics but would regale us with cracking yarns at every lecture or tutorial. (He'd have loved this BBS!) Anyway he told us how he had first arrived in the UK and was driving round on a hot Summer's day exploring. Alighting at a pub and dying of thirst he was shocked to be handed a "warm" pint. He complained but was told that was the way to drink it - it had more taste. "And you know" said Fishman, with a gleam of pleasure in his eyes and a glance at his watch to confirm that lunchtime was almost upon us, "She was right - it does taste better - it took me a few pints to work it out - but by golly it does taste good - and now - you British - you're selling out to these lagers and cold beer - aaah!" and he waved his arms hopelessly in front of himself and hurried off to the Sneyd Arms in the centre of Keele. :-)

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

The Chillingham Arms...happy memories. The Tap & Spile in Byker did a fair pint, although there were a few offish - officishyon - experts giving their opinions as to every aspect of the real ales.

Went to the British Beer Festival in Olympia one year. It's a dangerous place. Buy a half pint glass, get as many tastes as you can in while wandering around the big greenhouse. Managed to come away with 2 carrier bags full of crap from a tombola stall - have to admit to some extreme cheating, pulling handfuls of tickets out when paying for 5.

Old Pec is ok. But pretty deadly after 8 pints of it.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

some pratt droning in my lug about my frothy-fluid hedonism

I have mates into real beer, good lads n lasses really, but they remind me of born again god-botherers. Bliddy no talking to them. I like pissy lager in large quanities, I even end up with heednhands the following morning sometimes.

Clarky - I bought this month's Viz the other day and to my total delight one of the cartoons is called The Real Ale Twats, for a LOL run out and buy it.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Must get that Viz heednnhands.
You clearly know the type that I cant stand - "born again god-botherers" is a pretty damned good analogy.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Tap & Spile, Sheilds Rd or "The Prince" to the fatharinlaw seemed to get taken over by students buying 3 halfs between five people then trying to pay with a student union card. I've never been for ages but I remember the manager giving me a warning not to drive before handing me a pint of scrumpy resembling orange soup.

I've never been one for flat alchohol, gimme cold & fizzy every time.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Tap and Spile Shields Road is no more, or rather it has changed hands possibly becoming a genuine free house. I've been there once since - forget what it's called now - but it was bliddy empty and being in that locale my favoured Free Trade/Tyne combo beckoned.

Ciara - Real Ale still has the living yeast culture in it, unlike most beers which are filtered, pasteurised and then re-carbonated. The consequence is that real ale is very temperamental, doesn't last long and doesn't travel well. Because of that you really have to travel to it rather than it to you and it therefore divides Britain into beer regions, a bit like the French wine regions. It demands a great deal of artistry (pretentious - moi?) from the landlord if it isn't going to turn out the rancid insipid toiletwater that some people here have experienced. If it accords with any of the cliches (warm, flat etc), it's a bad pint. It should be stored well below room temperature and conditioned by gas from the still-fermenting live yeast. It's particularly championed by Micro and Regional breweries and new beers can become something of an event - i.e. the upcoming Ale from Newcastle's Mordue to celebrate the opening of the Millennium Bridge.

The typical real ale drinker is bearded, pipe-smoking, wears cardigans (even in summer)and enjoys the music of Steeleye Span. He also expounds on the subject with an evangelical fervour, as people on the group have mentioned. They would do well to avoid a mate of mine who is both a real ale bore and a God-botherer (and also nods in the direction of the anti-smoking brigade). Terrific bloke otherwise.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

P.S.

Viz likes to balance itself out over the years I see. It used to have a strip called The Lager Boys, with the landord going down the cellar to piss in the barrel etc.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Shagspear,

You mention a mate who is both a real ale bore and a God-botherer.

Give him the url of this BBS - he'll enjoy himself.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Aye perhaps, but apparently people keep wanting to discuss football and interrupt the beer talk.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Thanks for the explanation, Shagspeare. Sounds like I'd probably like good real ales. Actually many of the European lagers I've had have tasted good. I tend to drink them more often because I don't get p*ssed as quickly, nor as sick the next morning. ;-)

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

... but isn't that the objective, ciara?

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

It might be your objective to get wimmin p!$$ed quickly Clarky,but gentlemen have an entirely different agenda. As for the early morning sickness, Ciara, do I take it congratulations are in order???

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Screacher - I thought we'd agreed to keep our exploits in Troyes R Us strictly confidential!

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Since dog is now available on draught, to maximize the market they should rename it to "drafty dog" cousin of broon dog and the dog that bit me.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Ooh - hush my gob!

PS. Did you get her phone number??

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001

Yeah, right, Screach. Not quite. LOL. :-)

-- Anonymous, August 10, 2001