care for elderly farm owner offered...

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Hubby and I are interrested in caring for elderly farm owner(s) in their own home, and treating them as family, as rent for the farm, with option to buy. Of course, we would need contract papers, so that neither party is hurt in the arrangement.

Both of us care deeply about the land, and love animals, having worked with them almost all our lives. We wish to establish an organic operation, with hubby raising small fruits and veggies, and I want to run a small organic dairy and layer operation.

If you fit the discription of the elderly farm owner who doesnt want to go to a nursing home, or if you know of someone who fits it, please contact us!

-- daffodyllady (daffodyllady@yahoo.com), August 07, 2001

Answers

What a wonderful idea !! Working with the elderly I often find that they just need someone around to help with a few personal needs and they would have loved to have stayed on their own homestead or farm. I wish you luck with you great idea !!!!

-- Helena Di Maio (windyacs@ptdprolog.net), August 08, 2001.

Hi, daffodyllady, This is "imaginary" Gladys here. This is what I had wanted to ask about when I first posted here, wanted to ease into it gently, but as you know, my post created a bit of a stir. I went through my notebook--my great-granddaughter printed out the whole thing, and put it in a notebook for me, and I was very glad to see yours was one of the kind responses. We are neither senile nor frail, yet, but are practical, and know that at our age, it is only a matter of time before we will need some help. We had already discussed this with our lawyer(grandson) and he felt the best way to do it would be to credit what a home-health aid and farm-hand would cost, (about $1,000. a month) onto the mortgage, or down payment. Room and board for you, would of course, be free. All written up legally, of course, so that if we were to die in a year, you would still be able to buy the place, or if when lived for 20 years we wouldn't owe you money. And, of course, a compensation clause, in case after a year we realized we really couldn't stand each other! But I have a few things for you to consider. As you know, we live off-grid, but do have most of the amenities. But television is limited to a couple of hours a day, and we do use kerosene alladin lamps. Telephone is cell only, which means no internet. We do have a large home, 6 bedrooms, counted the 2 upstairs, and 2 bathrooms, so privacy shouldn't be a problem, but if it is there is a small apartment above one of the garages, but there is no hot water there, but the woodcookstove does have a reservoir. Do you have children? If so, are they homeschooled? The nearest bus-stop is about 6 miles. You say you love animals, and so do we, but we also eat them, would that be a problem? Your idea of a dairy sounds great, we only have the two Guernseys now, but the barn and stanchion area is set up to manage seven cows. The land (10 acres) is and always has been totally organic. We keep very early hours, bed at 8:30, and up at 5:30--could you deal with that? One of you would have to work off the farm--what is your occupation? I can find out if there are openings in our area. Where are you located now? Many many things to consider. Could you e-mail me privately? My greatgranddaughter will print it and bring it to me. I would prefer to discuss this privately and by regular mail, as so many on the forum think I am a prankster. Please tell me about yourselves, alittle, and I will talk it over with Walt and write to you directly, if that is alright. If all goes well by mail, could you come to visit a week or two before either of us commit? We are on the West coast, which is as much as I want to say on this very public--and not always very nice--forum. I hope to hear from you soon. Gladys

-- Gladys and Walt (kaanneg@hotmail.com), August 08, 2001.

Gladys, I am afraid we dont want to live west of the Mississippi River. In fact, since I posted that, my hubby is having second thoughts about the idea. He is afraid it would obligate us too deeply for possibly too many years, so that he could not relocate if he wanted to. (He gets this itchy foot, like Pa Ingalls of the Little House Books.)

-- daffodyllady (daffodyllady@yahoo.com), August 09, 2001.

Daffodyllady, Sounds like somebody called your bluff! K.T.

-- K.T. Simon (kts@hotmail.com), August 09, 2001.

Daffy , it seems you are looking long and hard to find a way out .I do not believe you will be happy this way .What you where looking for here involved other people and it would hurt them if you just backed out .Are you trying to run from something ? Relocating will not heal your problems .Sometimes we need to take a long hard look at ourselfs and our lives to find out what is not working .This was your second post in my option of trying to find an easy way to country life .It is so much better to work your butt off and do it alone .It took me 13 years .I don't want you to take this as mean , I often like to try to run from problems.I have figured out you cannot.Please take time and make a plan , the both of you .Good luck in whatever you do.

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@slic.com), August 09, 2001.


Patty, have you ever cared for an elderly person? Evedently not, if you think it is an easy way out. My hubby and I met while working in a christian nursing home, and let me tell you, I quake in my shoes to think of committing myself to care for a person in their own home till death, while farming! An easy way out? I dont think so! Caring for an elderly person who is bedfast is a full-time job that is extremely hard on the back and the patience, as it ties you down 24 hours a day. We know exactly what we speak of when we speak of caring for an elderly person.

Fact is, we feel a little desperate, as in the area where we live, land prices are going so high as to be absolutely prohibitive to the homesteader. Most productive farms around here are sold for a million dollars and up, and cut up for pricey subdivisions. Relocating may be our only option if we wish to own land at all! Running from something? From high land prices, and from the encroaching city, that's all! Family and friends would be sorely missed. -Have no enemies to run from.

Ok, so someone thinks we were just bluffing in the first place. Fact is, I posted that after we had thought about the idea for only a few days. After posting the article, my husband decides he doesnt think it would be a good idea. I personally think I could do it, though it would require a lot of sacrifice and working my butt off. But he doesnt think he wants his future tied to another person's life. You see, I have 7 sisters, (big mennonite family) and three of them have taken old people into their homes, to care for, and I have filled in for them for weeks at a time to care for their people to allow them to go on vacation. I know what this would be getting myself into.

You think I am trying to get out of working hard? I know what farming consists of. Both hubby and I were raised Mennonite. I have memories of being forced to pick endless rows of blueberries in the heat of the day with sweat rolling down my legs under my long dresses. I am no stranger to work, thank you. End of self-defence. Sorry I got long-winded. End of string. Bye.

-- daffodyllady (daffodyllady@yahoo.com), August 11, 2001.


Dafodyllady, I know what you mean when you say you are starting to feel a little bit desperate. As it became obvious to me, over the course of the 15 years following my divorce, that I was NOT going to meet a man who wanted to settled down and farm, homesteader style, I began to get pretty panicky myself. How was I ever going to do it alone? I even looked into communes, no go there either. But, after a lot of years and a lot of changes, I finally got here. Of course I also found out that "here" is still a long journey (which is why I go by "Sojourner", it will never end until I do, LOL!)

Consider Missouri. Land here can be got quite reasonably, even fairly close to some urban centers (not that an urban center in MO is anything like an urban center in most places, LOL!) You only need to go about 3 minutes outside of the capital at Jefferson city to be in pitch-dark farmland. There are universities and such there. You can find similar situations around most other good-sized cities in MO, except, of course, for St. Louis. Its urban/suburban sprawl is as bad as anywhere.

Think about it. Take a trip and look around. I don't know what your husband does but he should be able to find something in one of the middish-sized towns and not have to drive TOO far to be in the country.

-- Sojourner (notime4@summer.spam), August 11, 2001.


No need to ruffle any feathers , it was just my feeling that's all. If we did it anyone can.We bought are land and moved to it on 1 income with 3 children {I'm a stay at home mom}We totally gutted it and are redoing it as we can afford.So you see we know hard work , are place was abandoned for several years and beyond run downed.We lived without power,water and heated with wood.All while being pregnant with baby 4 .If you really want it you can do it , we relocated 6 hours away from where we did live.

-- Patty {NY State} (fodfarms@slic.com), August 11, 2001.

Hello daffodyllady What you purposed was a great idea, but I can certainly understand it if you changed you mind. I don't think you are running from anything. You just want to pursue your dreams as we all do. I feel your frustration. God bless!

-- Ardie from WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), August 12, 2001.

Hi Daffodyllady- I'm with Ardie on this one. I have tried to get someone to come here and work my place with me, since my Yuppie Boyfriend has NO interest in homesteading (though he likes the peace and privacy of country living). It seems as if every time it comes up I get responses from people who are initially very enthusiastic, because in theory it sounds good. Then, when reality sets in they change their minds. But, I keep throwing the offer out and I'm sure that eventually the right person/opportunity will come along. No harm done, in the meantime. If nothing else it gets both parties to think seriously about what they want, and I enjoy the exchanges with other people who are thinking along the same lines as I am. Hope you and your hubby find what you are looking for.

-- Elizabeth (ekfla@aol.com), August 12, 2001.


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