An Appeal To Your Lil Ole Touchy-Feelie Selves

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My daughter forwarded this to me this morning.........

My name is Billy Evans. I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is so sad is because I'm so sick. I was born without a body.

It doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe. The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money.

Mommy doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this email to everyone you know. Forward it to people you don't know, too. Dr. Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to, Bill Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America and have the astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me get better then. Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be third base.

Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take more prayers to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn ten. If you don't forward this email, that's okay.

Mommy says you're a mean and heartless nasty person who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow horrible death and then burn forever in hell.

What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't chew on me and try to bury its shit in the leaves of my burlap body. I wish that very much.

Thank You,

Billy "Smiley" Evans

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2001

Answers

Oh EM..........you are too much!!!!!!!!!!!!! I should copy this and send it to all the people that send me this kind of stuff and think it is for real.

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2001

I'm embarrassed to admit this, but the first paragragh had me thinking "can a person really be born without a body??" Talk 'bout gullible. Think I'll go see if anyone has a Brooklyn Bridge to sell!! Really funny, Earthmama!

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2001

Hey Marcia! I've got some flat land in Eastern Kentucky I want to sell you. Heeheehee. Now I can't gar ran tee that I actually own it either,but let's not quibble over details.

What a cynic you are,EM. Geez. Poor little guy. Brought tears to my eyes,I tell you. Well,I emailed everyone on this forum. Twice. For luck. I'll continue spamming all your mailboxes every day for the next month. Think that will be enough??? I sure hope so.

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2001


This is perfect. Once I quit the eyerolling in disbelief that you would fall for this (see, I KNOW you're really smart) I read it and couldn't quit laughing. I am now sending it to everyone who has ever sent me this kind of thing. Thank you!

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2001

I would send this to the people who send me this kind of thing too, but I still don't think that they would get it. Better I think to explain why you think they are all a bowl of crock and if they still don't get it then just delete any forwards that you get. I do,I don't even open forwards. Usually the people who e-mail those forwards are ladys who never even think that it might not be true. It doesn't make them dumb, just real innocent. We need to talk to them about scams on the net, as it is a new world to them.

Really like the commedy on this annoying subject, Earth Mama!

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2001



Hey...I was only "thinking" about believing the first paragragh!! And, Sharon, I'll trade some of this "flat land" in Maine for your "flat land" in Kentucky:-)!!

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2001

Thanks earthmama.....I needed that.:)

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2001

Oh my goodness!!!! Where do I send the money?.....Kirk

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2001

Billy your in our prayers.

-- Anonymous, August 05, 2001

Marcia

I would love to own land in Maine.I really liked it there when we toured the area.There are two places in the country I fell in love with. Northern Maine was one. Just too durn cold for my arthritic back. Maybe next life. Now,if I was still in my 20's....

-- Anonymous, August 05, 2001



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