A PICTURE FRAME was broken, and I decided to try my hand at repairing it. A screw was missing in one corner, so I called the hardware store. "Do you carry screws for picture frames?" I asked the man who answered. "What size do you need?" "I don't know, but it's rather small." The man sighed. "Ma'am, would that be closer to 'itsy-bitsy' or 'teeny-weeny'?" he asked.

-- Anonymous, August 03, 2001