Using that ultimate Tool Of Trooth, the World Wide Web, I have recently learned that this NWO thing is not only true, it's far more widespread than I originally could have believe possible. More fool I! The NWO has managed to sink its tendrils into the very fabric of our existence -- quite literally.

("Fabric:" remember that word. To keep this brief, we must stay focused.)

As interesting as certain spurious revelations were to me -- such as the fact that Dubya is, in fact, a love child resulting from the unholy union of the late Soviet Foreign Minister Andre Gromyko and an alien (note the resemblance!) ...

... this smacks of tawdry sensationalism; let us force our attention to more important matters. (We will get back to the aliens in a moment; first, FABRIC.)

As I introduce exhibit A, I will remind my reader of an interesting irony: most fabrics are plastics now. The largest manufacturer of plastics is DuPont, whose poster child (having consumed a good portion of the company's quarterly output at some earlier date) is Pamela Anderson, so I regard this image as especially damning:

A quick Web search on the terms "New World Order" and "Dupont" will return over 100 hits; they can run, but they cannot hide. The problem, though, is that most people wouldn't think to do such a search in the first place! This picture is the key! How did I, your intrepid pseudo-journalist, "crack the code," as it were?

It's OK if your mouth drops open in amazement:

Number of letters in the word "DuPont:" 6
Number of letters in the word "Pamela:" 6
Number of letters in the word "breast:" 6

As even the most dimwitted know well, 666 is the secret number of Satan. The tie-in between DuPont, Baywatch and the New World Order is thus established. See how prominently Pamela is featured on the cover of this book! The other stars and starlets (including a few who were more highly-paid for the series) are relegated to the background.

What more proof do you need?

But in fact, there IS more, much more! Take two Tylenol(tm) and continue, dear reader ... all this and aliens, too!

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The charge has been made that the NWO secretly "controls" the Web, trying to prevent any mention of itself -- or at least, any negative publicity that might harm support. How those who are unaware of the NWO's existence could be affected by such negative publicity in the first place is a minor connundrum; we shall ignore it for now.

We will also ignore the fact that there are literally thousands of sites on the Web that will explain the NWO to you in quite some detail (they'll even sell you books and tapes). Each also claims that the NWO is doing everything in its power to prevent sites like theirs from doing what they're doing (and have BEEN doing for over a decade now), thereby casting doubt on the omnipotence of the NWO (as clearly set forth at said site) but again: we leave the braintwisters for another day. (We're on a roll here.)

Much, much more difficult to prove is the tie-in between the New World Order and aliens. It seems that the NWO doesn't care if you learn of its existence; it certainly doesn't care if you watch Pamela Anderson with a full biblical measure of lust. These are minor things.

But to learn that the NWO is, in fact, the province of aliens? Perish the thought!

As proof of this, an Alta Vista search using the terms "+NWO +aliens +UFO +mayonnaise" returned no hits whatsoever -- PROOF of hidden censorship in that copper and silicon wasteland that Is The Web.

We know the link must be there. It has to be (David Icke said so). Why? Because there is no way that the NWO could control the Web otherwise; it's just not possible with human technology.

Ah, you caught that, did you? Human technology. Does anyone here really believe that Bill Gates produced Windows? That Intel actually creates all of those chips by itself? That road maps can actually be folded with no aid from Beyond?

All of these questions (and others!) are easily resolved if we grant alien technology -- nay, alien cooperation and even -- dare I say it? -- alien domination -- of not just our species, but the Web itself.

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First, though, we need some aliens.

They may have better technology than homo sapiens, but they're not omnipotent; even the most carefully camoflaged alien invasion is going to suffer the odd mistake. A careful and lengthy search (not using Alta Vista, lest I draw attention to myself, exposing my family to risk of instant annihilation!) resulted in this next Exhibit:

I have it on good authority that this is an authentic picture, snapped by a resident of Roswell, NM after the infamous (and steadfastly-denied) UFO crash of the early 1950's.

This is the one glimmer that grants optimism, that one tiny gem of hope at the bottom of Pandora's box: these aliens aren't perfect. They make mistakes.

You may not know, for example, that Gerald Ford and Jimmy Carter are actually the same person. The aliens are normally able to hide this with their advanced effects, but this one image (from their debate in 1976), the result of careful computer analysis and stop-action aliasing, is all I need show you:

How can a few aliens control something as vast as ... well, everything?

I answer that question with another: Who said it was a FEW? In fact, there are millions; they breed like flies!

Consider this image of an alien gestation pod (obviously "planted" in front of Wilma Truelove's doublewide outside Hope, AK by mistake -- I told you they weren't omnipotent!):

Computer enlargement and enhancement of the image reveals one of the little devils:

(We know that this particular alien was probably bio-engineered for Web control; he looks like a geek.)

Wilma and her husband Elmer managed to destroy the pod (Wilma said that the application of a mixture of Raid and cleaning fluid was most beneficial toward that end), saving a few of the babies for display to their neighbors:

We may only speculate; upon reaching his/her (it's?) majority, the one on the left would doubtless have become a politician; the one on the right looks ideally suited to leadership of a religious cult.

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I leave you with this final image, which I consider the most significant of all. In this college picture, we can see George Bush Sr., Andre Gromyko (in the background) and Margaret Thatcher having their minds altered by alien electrical helmets that obviously focus brainwaves into certain patterns.

I leave it to you to determine what those patterns are!

But trust no one. Tell no one. Beware; they're among us.

You have been warned.

-- Anonymous, August 02, 2001

Answers

HahahhahaBhahaha ya real funny, not.

Here is what YOU don't get Poole, ready?

BTW, it is also what most of the real wingnuts don't get either.

The Globalists are not a threat because they are smart, but because they are incredibly STUPID.

Think about that

-- Anonymous, August 02, 2001

Mr. Poole: Thanks for great laugh -- a wonderful way to start the morning. And, uh, yeah, the Pamela Anderson picture too. Now, that kind of global conspiracy I can really go for. Even the FBI guys probably wouldn't mind some "Code Red" oversight from that babe!

Doc, take a hint: If you would spend less time peering over your shoulder at the boogie men and more time looking at Pam and her friends, you might just enjoy life a heck of a lot more.

Have a great day.

-- Anonymous, August 02, 2001

They are a threat because they are stupid?! Just like fast Eddy.

This can't be the real Doc. It's a troll or he's playing with the board. Will the real Doc please stand up?

-- Anonymous, August 02, 2001

Here are two examples for Maria on stupidity,,two more contributions from the ShortBus Kids.

Seems the House has passed the GW proposal to develop the Alaskan outback. Word is a gigantic deposit of AWL exists, which in the not to distant future will make Amerika independent of that evil Sadamm dude.

Course this will also have the effect of handing OPEC their lunch as well. Even if it does not, the Rhetoric says as much. I will assume Rockefeller and his boys like the Saudis have been assured their Dems in the Senate will defeat this Bush turd, "so don't worry". One should hope to Christ this is what is going on behind the scenes.

Does Bush have any conception what a few Shieks from Dubai could do to the world's financial markets fearing they may soon lose their asses? I would submit Dubya way too stupid to even get that far whenever he does anything. His handlers like Carl Rove just too damn arrogant to give a shit, great team! But is this NOT what Bush is telling OPEC? you're days are numbered?

Same bonehead mentality is running the ridiculous Star Wars redo.

Diehard NWO Conspiracy types will simply conclude all this an agreement amongst crooks. That the Saudis are in on this one. I doubt it. Decades of the RockF driven Greenie movement tells me this all by its little old self to be wishful thinking.

This Alaskan deal is extremely destabilizing my take. Effects may never reach a crisis due to simple logistics and market conditions, but it would be swell if we had Leaders who at least respected the players and the power they can wield. Leaders who did not spew stuff which told OPEC "bye-bye".

The threat is centralized power in the hands of idiots...the New World Order.

-- Anonymous, August 02, 2001

and as to balance the books so to speak.

Al Gore lost an unlosable election because he "figured" it best to not have Bill helping out.

Bill took his seat as well on the Bus, when he "figured" it OK to have a party with Monica in the WH a few times. Then to add to his wonderful decision, he figured it OK to be evasive, some claim flat- out LIE about his prior stellar call.

These moves are the marks of pure Genius, worthy of a seat next to Dubya.

-- Anonymous, August 02, 2001

Doc, you are certainly entitled to your opinions, but I would like to ask: How much time do you spend on the Internet? What web sites? Do you base most of your beliefs on boards like this? If that is the case then, my friend, you are really living in a fantasy world.

Before I would swallow anything from your "analysis" that you just posted, I would sure like to see some hard credentials in areas such as foreign relations, political science, economics, etc., etc. Don't get me wrong, you probably know a lot more about this stuff than I do, but your outright belief that the world is being manipulated by evildooers, everyone else is missing it, but you are seeing it, kind of comes off as looney.

-- Anonymous, August 02, 2001

Man I have been hearing the same claims for years now TK. "That Doc dude is looney tunes". A good many here on this board have heard the same descriptions for eons. Many of us on this board think the others now looney tunes. Guess what? WE ARE! if you are assuming the world sane in your analysis that is(lol).

As to hard credentials, sadly you will not find any here. No MBA or JD after my made-up handle(wink wink). No long lists of world shaking accomplishments(how do those people find the time? or should I say, how long does it take to make-up a phony, but neat looking resume?). Do your own thinking. Resist the easy way, the sheeple way of relying on "the experts". Like these jerks are in your shoes? Balance EVERYTHING.

As to your claim I am a Conspiracy nut, I can only say you are not reading me correctly. Your assumption rests on believing these folks intelligent. I am saying the complete opposite. If you are denying the connections present, then I would suggest you retrace your steps to find out where exactly you missed the OBVIOUS. These people LIVE and BREATH the same mentality. I would submit it isn't so much a mentality but a SPIRITUAL DARKNESS.

We can go there if you like.

-- Anonymous, August 02, 2001

The Looking Glass

-- Anonymous, August 02, 2001

The Alice link is a true treasure, Thanks!

Here is another one I feel is one of the best on the internet..Simone's Allegory of the Cave

-- Anonymous, August 02, 2001

As proof of this, an Alta Vista search using the terms "+NWO +aliens +UFO +mayonnaise" returned no hits whatsoever -- PROOF of hidden censorship in that copper and silicon wasteland that Is The Web.

Stephen, here ya go..............LINK

-- Anonymous, August 05, 2001