Irish Independent

Are you having a good day? Yes, Yes, Yes . . . Oh, Yes!

WITH barely a moan or a gasp of protest, a small crowd gathered under the shadow of the GPO on Dublin's O'Connell Street to celebrate Ireland's first National Orgasm Day.

As t-shirted ladies from the Ann Summers sex shop on O'Connell Street released 1,000 pink balloons into the heavens to mark the historic occasion, one had to wonder what the late Archbishop of Dublin John Charles McQuaid would have made of these orgasmic festivities. It's a long way from the Eucharistic Congress.

Karen Mings, an Ann Summers assistant, led the celebrations, but struggled to free the balloons from a net as the cameras whirred. Like a bit-part player in a Carry On film, Karen shouted: "They're coming, they're coming. They're nearly there." In the absence of wolf-whistling builders, it was left to passing bus drivers to toot their horns in appreciation as the balloons containing gift vouchers for sex toys rose into the sky.

All over the capital, bewildered citizens must have found the X-rated pink balloons. There you are, minding your own business on a summer morning, when a voucher for a 'pocket pleaser' or a 'love stimulator' flies onto your doorstep.

Spanish tourist Luis Valverde, briefly distracted from his GPO tour by this puzzling tribute to the heights of passion, asked a passer-by take a photo of him surrounded by Ann Summers ladies in their National Orgasm Day shirts: a touching memento of holy Catholic Ireland.

Said Luis: "Its a great idea. Wherever you go, everyone is interested in this subject."

Ashling Stewart from Santry giggled as she held one of the balloons. "I'm all in favour of it. It's not doing anyone any harm."

One man, enjoying the balloon release after shopping in Clery's, blushed nervously and muttered "Oh!My God" after his wife told him what it was all in aid of. "I don't know anything about that," he said, turning away. It was left to just one blue-rinse pedestrian, who was crossing the street, to voice loud disapproval: "You should all be arrested! Who let you young ladies out like that?"

Using the rousing slogan 'Make It, Don't Fake It,' the Ann Summers chain had declared yesterday National Orgasm Day after a survey showed 80pc of women fake their orgasms.

Regrettably perhaps, equivalent figures for men were not released.

A spokesman for the chain said achieving orgasm was as much about what was going on between one's ears as elsewhere. "Tackle these concerns before love-making and you're on the way to enjoying the big O."

The precise effect of Orgasm Day was hard to gauge yesterday. Some thought it all over too quickly. But for Ann Summers, it was all good business.

Kim Bielenberg

-- Anonymous, August 01, 2001