Some aren't new, but they certainly made me laff:
<![CDATA[ HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same
stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should
like it that you like sports, and she should keep
the chips and dip coming.
--Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up
who they're going to
marry. God decides it all way before, and you
get to find out later who you're stuck with.
--Kirsten, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know
the person FOREVER by then.
--Camille, age 10
No age is good to get married at. You got to
be a fool to get married.
--Freddie, age 6
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE
MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether
they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
--Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN
COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
--Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should
use them to get to know
each other. Even boys have something to say
if you listen long enough.
--Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other
lies, and that usually
gets them interested enough to go for a
second date.
--Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS
TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I
would call all the newspapers and
make sure they wrote about me in all the dead
columns.
--Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
--Pam, age 7
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I
wouldn't want to mess with that.
--Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone,
then you should marry them and
have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
--Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
I don't know which is better, but I'll tell
you one thing. I'm never going
to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be
all grossed out.
--Theodore, age 8
It's better for girls to be single but not
for boys. Boys need someone to
clean up after them.
--Anita, age 9
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE
DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain,
wouldn't there?
--Kelvin, age 8
"And the #1 Favorite is........"
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if
she looks like a truck.
--Ricky, age 10
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-- Anonymous, August 01, 2001