Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 16 races, I've won 8 of them!"

Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 20!!"

"Oh that's good, but in the last 37 races, I've won 29!" says another, flicking his tail.

At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. "I don't mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 91 races, I've won 89 of them!"

The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog."

-- Anonymous, July 28, 2001

Answers

Gardner goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."

"We're short-handed, Gardner," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."

"Thanks boss," says Gardner, "I knew I could count on you!"

Quick Wit:

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

-- Anonymous, July 28, 2001