Bloody hilarious...off of Private Eye

"It was a moment of madness," admitted farmer Dave Phillips, as he recalled the low-speed police chase which he had precipitated in South Molton, Devon. "I was driving my tractor along the A361 when the police spotted me. I didn't have number plates, so when they pulled me over I thought 'what am I going to do?' When they asked me for my registration number, I just started talking Spanish. I don't actually speak Spanish, but they didn't either, so I kept on talking a loud scribble language and making big hand gestures for about ten minutes. Then I don't know what came over me, because I suddenly turned the tractor around and headed off across the fields. "My tractor has a top speed of 22mph, but I knew the ground was boggy, and police cars aren't built for that, so I just kept on going. For three hours I went on, with them behind, over field tracks, across streams, and through hedges. I even criss-crossed the river Yeo to try and shake them off. Eventually I dumped the tractor and made for the house of a gamekeeper friend. He told me off for being so stupid, and took me for a drink at the Black Cock Inn, near Molland, and arranged to hand me over.

"I don't really know why I pretended to be Spanish. It just seemed like a good idea at the time. I think the police thought I was an illegal immigrant, that's why they took it so seriously. They're sending me a traffic summons in the post, which is a pity, because I was hoping they'd deport me back to Spain. I could do with a month in the sun." (Tiverton Gazette, 7/7/01. Spotter: David Graham)"

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

Answers

Haha omg.

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

Great story Bobby.

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001