It seems a man in the USA decides to write a book about churches around
the world. He starts by visiting churches in the States and working his way from there.

He goes to a very large church and begins taking pictures, etc. He
spots a golden telephone on a wall and is intrigued with a sign which
reads "$10,000 a minute." Seeking out the priest, he asks about the phone and the sign.
The pastor answers that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven, and if he pays
the price he can talk directly to God. He thanks the priest and continues on his way.

As he continues to visit churches in Canada, Australia, Spain, France,
Italy, Germany, Russia and on throughout the world, he finds more phones with the same sign,
and the same answer from each priest.

Finally, he arrives in Newcastle. Upon entering a church, lo and
behold, he sees the usual golden telephone. But THIS time the sign
reads "Calls: 10 pence." Fascinated, he asks to talk to the preist.

"Reverend, I have been in cities all across the world and in each
church I found this golden telephone, and I have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that
I could talk to God, but in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign
reads 10 pence a call.

Why?"

The priest, smiling benignly, replies, "Marra, you're in Newcastle now.
It's a local call."



-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

Answers

=))

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

Nice one Gav - clean as well! ;-{)

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

Thanks Gav, that has cheered me up :-)

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

Nice one Gav, made me smile ;-))

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

Another one, not so fun but anyway...

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, ´´What are these, Dad ? ´´.

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, ´´Those are called condoms, son....Men use them to have safe sex.´´

´´Oh I see.´´, replied the boys pensively. ´´Yes, I´ve heard of that in health class at school.´´

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, ´´Why are there 3 in this package.´´.

The dad replies, ´´Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.´´

´´Cool!´´ says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks ´´Then who are these for?´´.

´´Those are for college men.´´, the dad answers, ´´TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.´´

´´WOW!´´ exclaimed the boy; ´´Then who uses THESE?´´ he asks, picking up a 12 pack.

With a sigh, the dad replied, ´´Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March........´´

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

Not bad mate ;)

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

An elderly couple is vacationing in the West of America.

Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly.

He walks into their hotel room and says to his wife, “Notice anything different, Bessie?”

Bessie looks him over, “Nope.”

Sam says excitedly, “Come on, Bessie, take a good look. Notice anything different about me?”

Bessie looks again, “Nope.”

Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for his boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time, “Notice anything DIFFERENT?”

Bessie looks up and says, “Sam, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow.”

Furious, Sam yells, “AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT’S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!”

To which Bessie replies, “Shoulda bought a hat, Sam. ....... Shoulda bought a hat.”

-- Anonymous, July 30, 2001