We do qualify for the UEFA and Monsieur Robert decides to sign for us will he be Cup tied? I know he's played in this Season's Intertwobob but surely that's a different competition? After all, if someone plays for, say, Newcastle in the Worthless it wouldn't prevent him from playing for another side in the FA would it?

All very confusing.

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2001

Answers

You're trying to introduce common sense to the competition, mate. I would think he'd be free to play in the UEFA cup for us. NUFC.com reckon he never played in this year's Intertoot-toot anyway. Does that make a difference? Are all players registered with a team become cup-tied despite never stepping onto the pitch or sit on the bench?

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2001

He did play for PSG in the cup this year which would make him cup tied for the UEFA Cup providing we get there.

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2001

Nah, I dont think so but I'm not certain. Helped a lot didnt it? =)

-- Anonymous, July 26, 2001

TJC is right, he's played in the twobob (and scored!) and would definitely be cup tied out of the UEFA....now I hope he fucks off to Valencia....

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

Question Gav. Do you think the other Frenchies signed for us for money or for Football? And, do you think Robert is keen because a) we'll pay him more? b) His manager hates him and he'll go anywhere? c) He wants to play for us/In the Prem or d)Something different. Also, if he's a good player, and 15 goals in 30 says he is should we not be interested? Also, in buying Bellamy, we bought a proven whinging sh%%e, why he is he excused because he isn't a Frog?

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

Is the Interflojo considered to be part of the UEFA cup qualifying rounds? I thought it was a separate competition, like Dave (not that Dave is a separate competition, just agreeing with him...but the Intertoto could be more interesting if it was called 'Dave', and would stop all the smart arses telling everyone how it came by the 'Toto' bit. Yep the Dave Cup has more of a ring to it).

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

I haven't seen Robert play, but i guess he's good. Still, i have reservations about French players. The Valencia thing is obviously his agent...

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

Bobby,

How did the 'Toto' bit get there?

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

Sorry, the cup is now officially called Dave ;-) However, this is a brief synopsis of the competition's naming

The old Toto bit was used because the ex head of UEFA was a big Wizard of Oz fan, and also liked small yappy type of dogs. Much in the same way that the Superbowl in America was so called because the child of the head of the NFL had a toy which they called a "super ball", so was it with the UEFA Intertoto. Geoff, as the ex-head of UEFA was called, also owned a small yappy dog named after Dorothy's small yappy dog in the Wizard of Oz (better film than Return to Oz).

Anyway, while out watering the garden, Geoff started kicking a football against his fence. Toto the small yappy dog became excited by the play, and began to chase after the ball (as seen in many You've Been Framed episodes). Geoff's wife, Maureen, then exclaimed "What's got into Toto?" and the tournament was born.

Toto died in 1986.

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

had an early lunch time drink Bobby ?

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

Very funny bob!

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

....well f*ck me with a ragman's trumpet. The things you learn. Thanks Bobby.

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

No bother. All that crap about pools comps and that, all made up like.

Also, "ragman's trumpet" is a David Duffield expression, isn't it (without the intimate reference)?

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

Booby,

Been away too long to know who D Duffield is. But unless he's an ancient gadgy, he will have picked it up from from his mutha who in turn will have heard my mutha say it during the war.

>>f*ck me with a ragman's trumpet<< copyright TOON EXPAT'S ANCIENT SAND-DANCING MUTHA.

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

TE - David Duffield does commentary on Eurosport, mainly the big bicycle comps like Tour de France. Think Colmanballs in top gear.

Check out h ttp://www.addiscombecc.freeserve.co.uk/features/Duffield.htm

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

Wonderful stuff, Bobby. Thanks for the introduction and the link. I'm hooked already.

Like his taste in sports jackets, though.

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001

Sent an email to the site with a brief explanantion which attempts to link DD's reference (as rough as a ragman's trumpet) to my pre-war north country expletive.

Having said that, this is the first time I've heard anyone else use the expression. Certaily never seen it in print. Fame.

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2001