I have lived in the country for almost 8 years as a divorced fater of two. What I find is that most women who have college educations, good values and are fun to be with live in the city.

My friend's brother finally married when he was almost 50 to a mail order bride from the Maylasia as there were no local gals who wanted anything to do with the work of raising a family on a dairy farm.

I met a wonderful lady two years ago but when we talk about marriage, she can not see herself giving up the fancy city house, high paying job, and convenience of city living.

There appears to be a town that has gotten famous called Herman, Mn. which has large number of eligible farmers who can not find mates. The town will give away free city lots to any eligible ladies that wish to relocate there. However, it appears that most gals who relocated to Herman soon left after a couple of years due to being unable to live happy lives by themselves.

So, the good part of all this is that I have grown as a person and learned that real happiness comes from helping others. As such, I try to do a lot of volunteer work. However, it is still quite lonely trying to run a sheep ranch by myself.

-- Gary Rush (hpysheep@midwestinfo.com), July 25, 2001

Answers

Where are you looking for your women and just how much emphasis are you putting on the outside appearance as opposed to the heart that beats inside? I've known many women who were just itching to take on the country life and they without exception had problems finding anyone so inclined. Have you tried an ad on any of the boards like countryside just looking for someone to communicate with at first? The minds should meet before the bodies do. As for these men that figure they're going to pick up some simple peasant girl and keep her isolated barefoot and pregnant to do their beck and call, wake up and smell the roses please. Even such an individual, once she becomes acclimated to this country, will leave if the mind and the heart are not satisfied. Looks aren't everything, fellas, and we all grow old and wrinkled sooner or later....I'll get off my soapbox now, thank you.

-- Sandra Nelson (Magin@starband.net), July 25, 2001.

Finding a mate who wants to live "in the sticks" can be difficult . . . when I was in college, I was looking to meet a lady who wanted to live in the country to live the simple life. Women (and I'm not trying to pigeon hole anyone, okay?), raised in the city didn't seem interested in living that lifestyle. It was okay to visit and all, but to stay in "the wilderness?" Not me chief. The women I met who were raised in the country knew what I was talking about, but the great majority had already been there and were looking for big city lives in their futures.

Forget singles bars, try your church or the library. You mentioned raising sheep; do you attend county fairs? Do you show animals there? Good way to meet women who live in the country and want it that way.

I met my future wife totally by accident; one of my co workers had a death in his immediate family. I attended the wake and met my future wife; weird story, yes? She was raised in the country for most of her life. We have been married five years plus and have a three year old boy. Don't get discouraged, your mate is out there. Just keep on keeping on,

-- j.r. guerra (jrguerra@boultinghousesimpson.com), July 25, 2001.

hmmmmm...

there's also another side to this. Some women (men too?) have the country in them and just don't know it. I was raised in the city, knew nothing else, though I did know that I loved the outdoors and the wilderness. My husband's job bought us to the country. What a shift for me at first! We didn't come up with the intention to "homestead", we didn't even know what homesteading was. I love it now. Never never again would I live in the city by choice (though I like to visit). So what I'm saying is, sometimes this "thing", the ability to adapt to the country and learn to live in the country, live simply, live close to the land, homestead, is actually in a person, maybe just not apparent yet. Don't know if that helps, it just reminded me of my situation and our journey.

-- Cathy in Mn (catcrazy@somewhere.com), July 25, 2001.

I haven't lived in a city in many a year, but I could never live like some of you do. Guess I'm too spoiled to give up my amenities! -LOL- But there's nothing else I'd rather do than raise livestock, ride and drive my critters and enjoy the peace and quiet of the desert. Homesteading my place means it can't be taken away from me by any government source, lawsuit, etc. That's about as far as my 'homesteading' goes! -G-

-- ~Rogo (rogo2020@yahoo.com), July 25, 2001.

There are a lot (??) of single women out there who would love to be able to live a simpler life, away from the insanity of city or suburban life. BUT... waiting for the 'right' person to come along may never happen. We, both men and women, often have a list of things we're looking for in just the right person, and how many times have we met anyone who actually fills the bill completely? I have to agree with whoever the first lady to respond was--some of men want a trophy and workhorse and sex kitten all rolled into one, and it ain't gonna happen. Living in the country and doing country chores is not always compatible with manicured nails, salon-styled hair, or immaculate clothes and complexion. Nor is it always compatable with a perfect size 6 figure topped off with D-cups. Hooray for the man who finds this, as I'm sure there are at least a few country women out there who would fit this description. Speaking from personal experience, though, women who truly work hard for extended periods of their lives often end up with big burly man arms (of which I have a pair) wide shoulders, strong back, rough hands, farmer's suntan, hair in a perpetual knot if not kept in a bun, sunburn/freckles, etc. BUT, for the man fortunate enough to overlook these things, or perhaps appreciate them for the examples of character that they are, he will likely find the sort of woman who would indeed be happy and content living on a farm, ranch, in the sticks, whatever. In other words, why are you looking for a 'tater in the apple tree? Not all women live in the city.

-- HannahMariaHolly (hannahholly@hotmail.com), July 25, 2001.

I just had to jump in and say that I don't see anywhere in Gary's post that he's looking for manicured nails or salon hair--give him a break!! Nowhere does he mention outside appearance. I agree that places such as this Countryside forum might be good for getting to know someone. (You can sure tell who's a hothead and who's a peacemaker when there are hot controversial posts!) I'm married, but were I not, I would jump at the chance of living on a sheep farm!

-- Elizabeth in E TX (kimprice@peoplescom.net), July 25, 2001.

Gary, how about taking a agricultural course at your local college? There may be some eligible females there. Or perhaps the local 4-H chapter may provide some leads. Just remember, God made more women then men, and things do even out. For every divorced man, there is a divored woman somewhere. But usually they are poorer, with kids, and almost desperate. Not looking for that? Well, you might be missing out on the very one made for you.

-- daffodyllady (daffodyllady@yahoo.com), July 25, 2001.

Just wondering...why does she have to have a college education? Im sure theres alot of smart, nice women out there that maybe just couldnt afford that.....just a thought.........

-- Carrie in Wis (carriemom23@hotmail.com), July 25, 2001.

"waiting for the 'right' person to come along may never happen. We, both men and women, often have a list of things we're looking for in just the right person, and how many times have we met anyone who actually fills the bill completely?"

Yes, we (or at least I) have. Unfortunately he failed to mention his live-in girlfriend.

And Carrie "why does she have to have a college degree?"

I can't speak for the original poster, but I have found through extemely painful experience that if I don't stick to folks who have an equivalent education (which doesn't necessarily mean an actual degree, but does mean being well-read and thoughtful) I'm in trouble from the get-go. The last guy I dated seriously had a screaming fit at me one night for using "big words", which he claimed was a purposeful attempt on my part to belittle him in front of his friends.

-- Sojourner (notime4@summer.spam), July 25, 2001.

I remember seeing a report on either dateline or 20/20 yrs ago about a town in the mid-west where the farmers were looking for women who loved the country and farming.

-- Bernice (geminigoats@yahoo.com), July 26, 2001.

Our county has a singles club that meets and has dances etc. Townies and country folk alike seem to be in the membership from what I hear. Gary there are a lot of diamonds out there. I am sure you will make your lucky strike. Make me think of a divorced friend on her farm. She is in the same kind of situation. The 'tater in the appletree comment made me laugh and is also very true. Why are you looking in the city for country girls? What about meeting people through your sheep? Fairs, breed associations, 4H,...these are all good idea to meet more people and maybe make contact with Ms. Right. I guess in a nutshell I think the folks here had great ideas on how to meet more people and maybe find your life mate. Good luck!

-- Alison in N.S. (aproteau@istar.ca), July 26, 2001.

Like Elizabeth, I too would jump at the chance of living on a sheep ranch or any kind of ranch, for that matter. But I'm not in my 20's or 30's and it seems most (or a lot) men are looking for much younger women. Not many men are looking for someone my age (59). And I still have a lot of living to do (to quote an old song). So, Gary, take a second look at the women around you. You might be in for a pleasant surprise. Sometimes there may be someone you didn't even stop to consider and ask them out. Good luck in your search.

-- Glenda (GJHOL909@aol.com), July 26, 2001.

Join a church, get to know your neighbors, go to any social occasions that you can. You never know...one of the people you meet may have a sister or a daughter or a cousin. I met my son-in-law over the CB radio and became friends with him. I introduced him to my daughter and the rest is history! You never know! God bless!

-- Ardie from WI (ardie54965@hotmail.com), July 26, 2001.

Seems to me that a homesteading singles website would save a lot of time over all the networking being suggested. Life is short. Until that comes along, just go around to all the steading sites ever so often and remind the single females that they don't have to settle for second best, you're available!

-- paul (primrose@centex.net), July 27, 2001.