I am in an abusive relationship and trying to get out. I live with his parents and pay all of our bills. Don't have enough money to be able to afford an apartment for me and my daughter. Is there anybody out there who knows where to get help in this situation? Is there any help?

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2001

Answers

Hello, my name is Forstine. I'm very sorry to hear of your situation,and I sympathize with you. Here's some advice if I may add a few words if you don't mind. My advice to you would be for you to do first things first. Stop paying all the bills, and start your life over, just you and your daughter. I know I'm making this sound easy, but if you're living with his parents and you only have one child, then you should stop paying all the bills whether they are from being with him or whether they are from being with your in-laws. You stop worrying about those bills, and I gurantee you he will either start worrying about them or the people that are owed will start worrying him. As a man he is responsible by the law to be the primary care-taker of his family. When you stop paying the bills, move into a domestic abuse shelter, all of them are not bad. He will never know that you are there, they will give you police protection if it should come to that, because being in his parents home has made him to assesible to you. While you're in the shelter or living with a friend, they will help you save money, get a nice job, and start your family over just you and your little girl. If you need to talk more email me.

-- Anonymous, September 21, 2002