SCIENTISTS announced yesterday that female brown trout regularly fake orgasms. After watching 117 pairs of trout couple in an aquarium, biologists at Sweden's National Board of Fisheries have discovered that female trout deceived males on 69 occasions.

As the courting pairs of fish prepared to spawn, both quivered violently with their mouths open. In usual circumstances, the pair would then share sexual congress by simultaneously releasing eggs and sperm to maximise the chances of fertilisation.

But Erik Petersson and Torbjorn Jarvi found that the female frequently held back at the last moment, while the male always released its sperm. If a superior male approached, the female would repeat the courting process and mate with the better fish. Otherwise, it spawned with the male it initially tricked.

The tactic could also be an insurance policy against male infertility, New Scientist reported yesterday. The more orgasms a female trout faked, the more males would have deposited sperm when she finally released her eggs.

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2001

Answers

whitley baybe - I ain't no scientist but I've also "discovered that females...deceived males on 69 occasions."

;7)

...not that I was that bothered like ;-)

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2001

You know why females fake orgasm?

They think we care.

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2001

LOL Sudden!

What's a female orgasm BTW?....

:-)

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2001

Don't believe in all that nonsense: in, out put the kettle on.

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2001

This daft thread is part of why I love you lot so much.

I'm not clever an' witty, like what you are....but I'm looking forward to the morrer when the offices open up, like.

xxxx

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2001

Bud, I'm sure it's not only on those "69" occasions ;-))

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2001

Well I think you're all being shockingly speciesist. People, tshchk. These poor females are just trying to be nice to some selfish macho male trout that typically can't wait to get their quick bit of gratififation before slinging their hook. I bet the average male trout has never even heard of foreplay, and as for phoning the next day, well forget it. I don't know how you can be so heartless about these sweet, misunderstood creatures.

Me, I'm off down the shops. Looking for something about, ooh, 36-24- 95p a kilo...

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2001

A man ony needs three inches anyway, dizzen ee ?

An inch in, an inch oot, and an inch gannin in and oot. In the trout's case, substitute one millimetre.

Third in, third out, etc. :-))

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2001

Shake-it-all-about! Well, so much for Swedish trout. I suppose the English trout just lie there like, er, a wet fish!

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2001

phoning the next day

Lol Dr Bill!

And what's foreplay? Is it in any way related to that "Interior derangement" you described for us yesterday? Come to think of it there must be a joke about knee-tremblers in here somewhere ....

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2001