Shamelessly stolen from AbbyLane over on TimeBomb

EXPRESSIONS FOR WOMEN ON HIGH STRESS DAYS

1. YOU – OFF MY PLANET
2. NOT THE BRIGHTEST CRAYON IN THE BOX NOW, ARE WE?
3. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup!
4. Errors have been made --- others will be blamed.
5. And your crybaby whiny-pants opinion would be,,,,?
6. I’m not crazy; I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
7. Allow me to introduce myselves
8. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
9. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
10. I’m just working here till a good fast food job opens up.
11. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
12. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you Weren’t sleeping.
13. I can’t remember if I’m the good twin or the evil one.
14. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
15. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
16. You say I’m a witch like it’s a bad thing.
17. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #2?
18. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
19. Chaos, panic + disorder = my work here is done.
20. Earth is full. Go home.
21. Is it time for your medication or mine?
22. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
23. I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.


-- Anonymous, July 22, 2001

Answers

Those are terrific, Meemur. Thanks for making my morning.

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2001

24. Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to bury the bodies.

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2001

Meemer...you must post these at IC in the Garden Arbor!!!! I like "I have PMS...don't piss me off..I have a GUN! I Know how to use it...

I t is funny, but not funny in this day and age!!!!

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2001

25. My cat is trained...

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2001

I shaved my legs for this?

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2001