It has come to the attention of Microsoft that several copies of a Geordie version of Windows 2000, otherwise known as Windaz Too Thoosand, may have accidentally been shipped out of Newcastle. If you have one of the Newcastle editions, you may need some help understanding the commands. You will be able to tell immediately if you have a copy of Windaz 2000 by the egg-timer being replaced by a bottle of Brown Ale. Also note: - The recycle bin is labelled "Shite" - Dialup network is called "Me mates" - Control Panel is known as "How we fook aboot wi the settins" - The hard drive is referred to as "Big disk wi aall me stuff on it" - Other features to note: - Ok - Alreet - Cancel - Fook that - Yes - Aye - Goto - Owa there - Help - Ah cannit dee it - Personal folder/My Documents - Me shite

Windaz 2000 does not recognise capital letters or punctuation marks.

- Applications exclusive to Windaz 2000 - Tipe Rita - a word processor - Cullarin book - a graphics package - Addin masheen - a calculator - Dole 2000 - accounting software - Porn - Internet Explorer

Microsoft are sending a containment team to the area but there are fears that the version has escaped the net and will turn up on a computer near you when you least expect it. Take care, try not to have nightmares.

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2001

Answers

well done ML3!!!

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2001

=)

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2001

.....whereas in Mackemland, they're still trying to get to grips with Windows 3.1 ;-)

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2001

I thought the makem version of Windows were all broken into.

-- Anonymous, July 18, 2001