I am becomming increasingly alarmed at he number of intrusions we are seeing on this BBS of late. I don't mind infiltrations (honest) from the likes of LR, ML3 and even Soopah-Doopah Kev on his good days. But it seems someting more sinister is going on.

We've seen/heard about/experienced the fall-out from the Galaxy Virus. Now I fear there is another infecting this BBS. Something not so obvious this time. Instead of a full posting from somebody, this little virus (worm??) is imbedding itself in the middle of postings.

Careful surveylance has led me to believe that this is a variation of the Parenthesis-Ed virus. So far, it appears to be limited to postings from Tesco's Internet Cafe (he's wrong you know - Ed). This leads me to believe that it may have come in from the Home Counties (this guy is from the "Fat Alec" school of Geography - Ed), in a dodgy tin or corned beef. Be warned, this is not a simple hoax virus. Take care and use protection whenever possible.

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2001

Answers

You are right to bring this insidious virus to our attention Screach writes Jonno. (Sigh - Ed)

This virus seems quite benign at first but then starts to gradually undermine the logic of the discussions here (you can say that again - Ed). If left unchecked we will simply appear to be a bunch of lunatics convinced that the Toon will win everything this season (speak for yourself - Ed) and the rest of the space will be taken up with mindless discussions on non-footie themes and adverts for Radio 4. (God preserve us - Ed).

This thing needs stamping out at source (We're working on it - Ed) and it seems to me that the Tesco at Kingston Park should be destroyed together with all Tescos and Internet cafes within a 10 mile radius whether infected or not. (Good idea as long as you're in there when it happens Jonno - Ed).

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2001

(This whole thing is getting out of hand. Who let the mad bu99er back? Before long, he'll be uttering inane acronyms such as TIWY and we all know what that can lead to - Ed).

Dr Bill, will you please come into my Internet McCafé. I need a second opinion on Dr Solomon's virus.

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2001