How does someone even measure Dying Granny Pace? After all, it is soooooooo sloooooooow. Probably it takes the steady hand of someone who is used to difficult and precise measurements. Like perhaps an astronomer.

Secondly, is there any pace slower than "Dying Granny"? Is it the zero on the 0-10 scale?

-- Swampfox (wmikell@earthlink.net), July 13, 2001

Answers

When Jack Mitchell's KU football team in the 60s was doing well and winning games, but not against the top teams, the press was congratulating him. His reply: "Grandma looks fast when racing great grandma." Spike isn't that slooooow.

-- mean "great grandpa" gene (gmw@ku.edu), July 14, 2001.

You're darn right Spike isn't that slow! He beat nearly the entire field at the US Champs this year, and who would have predicted that?!? Just think what we could do if we could bottle up some of that quicksilver Spike-power and sell it to the masses! Gatorade would be in a world of hurt.

-- Swampfox (wmikell@earthlink.net), July 14, 2001.

Maybe the slowest is Ruth Crawford pace. I know she's a granny, but I'm not sure whether at age 91 she's hit great-granny yet. She was last sighted at the Intercollegiates in Quantico, having just completed the string-O with her walker. (And as Dave Barry would say, I'm not making this up.) But Ruth doesn't seem to be dying yet, and to be honest, she seemed to be making fairly good time as she dragged Sharon to the car. Maybe the real zero should be named after... well, let's say there are a few people who have made names for themselves at the 1000-Day over the years, but maybe I shouldn't mention those names right now.

-- J-J (jjcote@juno.com), July 17, 2001.