High Tech Feng shui

-- Anonymous, July 13, 2001

Answers

Meemur's Feng shui tips for the average person:
1. Never leave piles of toenail clippings on the kitchen table.
2. Scratch attractive but obsure Japanese characters in the cat litter boxes for good luck.
3. Do not pile your underclothing, empty pizza boxes, or empty beer cans in the same corner: separate them into their own corners.
4. Do not invite men inside who look like thugs and are wearing jack boots.
5. Do invite in the Avon Lady and offer her your extra copies of the Watch Tower, Shacklee Catelogue. If you don't have that literature, invite her to your Tupperware party, slated to begin in minutes.
6. Do not allow your offspring to dye their hair with expensive hair dye -- use Kool Aide for more luck.
7. Replace the doors on all bathrooms with strings of beads. This action will also cut down on the amount of cleaning needing to be done in the bath since folks will start going elsewhere.
8. Play Glen Miller records on your old turn table at the wrong speed, especially if the Avon Lady, Jehohovia Witness, or Scientologist is knocking at your door.
9. Arrange your dirty dishes into random patterns on your front lawn: leave until after the next rainstorm.
10. Hum old Abba tunes at random moments. Try not to giggle.


-- Anonymous, July 13, 2001

Ooo, good one! I think we should add:

Replace all light bulbs with the 40w variety to make it difficult for the dust demons to cause trouble.

-- Anonymous, July 13, 2001

I love it!!!!!! heheheheeh

-- Anonymous, July 13, 2001