One of the few remaining pedestrian pleasures is arriving at a crossing, pressing the button and then crossing before the walk light changes to green with nobody else around.

Oh the joy watching motorists gnashing their gums cos the crossing's clear and the traffic light's on red.

And now, the barstewards are going to deprive us of even that pathetic pleasure by introducing intelligent lights. The sneaky bleeders have fitted infra red detectors which can sense if there are pedestrians at the crossing and, if not, will cancel the walk signal.

Miserable g1ts. {:-(O)

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2001

Answers

Stay back. I'll jump if you come any closer. I will. I will. I'm telling you. I will.

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2001

The next thing you know condoms will have an alarm that goes off if there's a puncture!!!! Is there nothing sacred anymore?????

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2001

You know what I hate most when driving? Not tailgating, people on mobiles, women looking in the shops, or old blokes in Volvos ... no ,no no.

My pe hate at the moment is roundabouters.

This is where there's two lanes leading to a roundabout. All of the traffic is in the left lane with a half mile tailback as they want to go left or straight on . Roundabouting is when a car goes down the right lane to avoid the queue and right around the roundabout into the exit that you are queing for. I ABSOLUTELY HATE THIS and one of these days I'm gonna run one of these roundabouters off the road.

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2001

Its a "BUFFALONIAN" rik (a douglas adams liff word) and is a beautiful manouvere

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2001

I'm gonna get a girder fitted to my Subaru that juts out to the right blocking the right hand lane when a Buffalonian is detected.

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2001

Howay man Rik... just get in the outside lane and do it yourself. If everyone does this then revert to the left lane which will be clear.

No charge for this friendly advice... no guarantees either!

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2001

No, sorry thats cheating. I'm going to write to my MP demanding immiediete legislation to outlaw this fiendis manouver.

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2001

I was going to admit to using the buffalonian manoeuvre on occasion, about an hour ago, but Rik's a canny blerk, and I didn't want to get on his wrong side. :-))

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2001

I wouldn't upset you if I saw you do it this week Pit Bill ..... I'd wait until after your birthday celebrations before I twonked ya.

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2001

Yous lot are really sad, aren't you?

Try driving in Turin ............

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2001

Turin? try Greece!

I'm convinced the Greeks steer by using the horn.... i.e. they drive in a straight line until they reach an obstacle and then they sound the horn in the hope that it will move. Works well with pedestrians, other vehicles.... not so good with buildings! ;-)

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2001

Does it mean we have to jiggle while we wait? Surely if we stand still, the sensor won't pick us up...

-- Anonymous, July 13, 2001

Greece? Luxury! Go there for a quiet weekend.

-- Anonymous, July 13, 2001

You're nit picking now, Nick.

-- Anonymous, July 13, 2001

Good point, but. As far as I understand it, it tracks movement cos there's a detector at each side of the crossing. If you just jiggle, it won't track you on the crossing, so presumably it'll cancel the stop signal. Plus, you'll probably get arrested for being - well - peculiar. :-))

-- Anonymous, July 13, 2001

But what if, like me, you are a natural jiggler...?

-- Anonymous, July 13, 2001

You're just naturally - well - peculiar. :-))

-- Anonymous, July 13, 2001

Nick,

In geordie parlance I assume that 'jiggling' is the same as 'dicky- dancing'. Do any of our ante-deluvian members recall that term?

-- Anonymous, July 13, 2001

TE
I was born the year after the flood, so it should come as no surprise that I've never heard of dickie-dancing. An explanation a bit more comprehensive than just 'jiggling' would be most welcome. :-0

-- Anonymous, July 13, 2001