Fella on talk of the Tyne reckons it's been reported in the Spanish press that we've finally signed Zenden, and cites this page as evidence:

http://www.deporweb.com/

Anyway I've copied the relevant story and ran it through Babel Fish - and I can honestly say I'm none the wiser.

Barcelona closes the crossings of Simao to the Benfica and Zenden to the Newcastle Barcelona, 11/07/01 (DeporWeb).-El Barcelona closed this morning the crossings of Flavorful Simao to the Benfica and ' Boló Zenden to the English Newcastle, after the meetings maintained in the Camp Nou by Parera, Fernandez and Closa with leaders of both clubs. Manel Domenech Barcelona will not make public these crossings until the players give their conformity to the operation. Only vice-president Ángel Fernandez, one of the three members of Barcelona presents/displays in the meetings next to the chief of a main directorate Antón Parera and another one of the vice-presidents, Francesc Closa, was limited to clarify " today we have closed some sales of players ", without wanting to specify which were. The case of Simao is easier, because the Portuguese already had well formed an agreement with the Benfica, eternal rival of the Sporting of Lisbon, club from which left to arrive to Barcelona. Barcelona will pocket by this crossing an amount next to 2,500 million pesetas, bases something inferior to the paid thing by Barcelona for two seasons. On the other hand, Boudewjin Zenden has still not been informed into the agreement arrived by Barcelona and the Newcastle, although yes it knew the great interest the equipment that directs to Bobby Robson. The English organization will have to negotiate now with the player to complete the operation. Riquelme On the other hand, some members of the hard nucleus of the director of Barcelona approached the possible arrival of Riquelme, something that divides to the leaders culés are in favor of its hiring, but next to the economic tasks they think that already a effort with the draftees with the arrival has become of Saviola. As far as the company/signature of the contract of Roberto Bonano, Angel Fernandez explained that " the club follows the delay of which the Vatican and the Spanish Federation give the approval to their passport " to settle the hiring of the Argentine doorman.

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2001

Answers

Shagspeare - are you sure that was from babel Fish? Seemed more like something Rik writes everyday of his life ;-)

Actually, from what I got out of it, were no closer. BZ could quite easily stick two fingers up at us and tell to to go forth and do our sums. All it says to me is that he isn't wanted by Barca.

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2001

All I got out of it was confusion!!

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2001

Well, I thought it was Superkev off on another rant, but then i noticed there was no swearing and the grammar was better than his.

Only kidding Kev ;-)

Anyway, he's on, he's off, he signed, he refused. Come on lads and lasses, quiet newsweek, all the tabs are doing is filling space with crap rumours and stupid second hand stories.

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2001

Looks to me like Babel Fish could be one of that group of chimps that, if given enough time, could unknowingly type out the works of Shakespeare.

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2001

There must be a better translator program out there somewhere. You need a translator (or a Rik) to understand and re-write that Babbel-fish stuff.

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2001

Understanding the way these translators make their errors I can now translate this relvent paragraph for your convienince.

On the other hand, Boudewjin Zenden has still not been informed into the agreement arrived by Barcelona and the Newcastle, although yes it knew the great interest the equipment that directs to Bobby Robson. The English organization will have to negotiate now with the player to complete the operation. This quite clearly means.... On the other hand, Boudewjin Zenden has been sold to Newcastle for £7 million. The player is now negiotiating personal terms, and is expected in Newcastle for a medical on Saturday.He is expected to link up with his new team mates in Belgium where they are playing in an intertoto cup game wearing the number 19 Newcastle United shirt, although he is unlikel to take part in the game.

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2001

Understand how it works?

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2001

it means "Newcastle have spent weeks negotiating with dull rich catalans only for a spotty oik to say he wants to go elsewhere"

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2001