I thought about this question today because it's the day of the week when I, typically, clean the house. Unfortunately, it's ALSO the day that my son will arrive. My kids have teased me [sometimes unmercifully] about being anal-retentive in house-cleaning. *I* don't think I'm anal-retentive about it. *I* think that *I* just like a clean house. HOWEVER, I DO realize that folks feel more comfortable in a house that looks "lived in", where one can feel free to take a dump if needed without fearing that one should whip out the toilet brush to restore the "pristine" nature of what came before.

I even understand that folks like to smoke in a house where one doesn't empty the ashtray after EVERY ash, and look to other areas of the floor to see if ANYONE has EVER spilled a drink before THEY did. I understand all this. In fact, I understand this SO MUCH that I washed my house today with Windex. Heh. Windex will NOT get the scum off a sink, and it will NOT remove all the remnants from those who came before you on the pot, and that was exactly what I had in mind for my son's visit.

*I* clean my house FOR ME. I DO NOT clean my house for company. [I clean after you leave.] The JOY for me is to have a place where I can read, etc., without worrying about dirt/bugs, etc. that may distract me. What is YOUR logic?

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), July 09, 2001

Answers

I don't clean my apartment.

I just move every coupla years!

(And nobody seems to notice!!)

-- (confirmed@bachelor.hood), July 09, 2001.

Windex will NOT get the scum off a sink, and it will NOT remove all the remnants from those who came before you on the pot, and that was exactly what I had in mind for my son's visit.

I am not sure that I get this part. If I am going to do the work of cleaning, I do what gets what I am cleaning CLEAN. Why go through the motions of cleaning without actually getting something clean? I am not a neat freak by any means, but when I clean, I kick ass!

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), July 09, 2001.

I do not clean my house because I do not enjoy cleaning. I pay someone to clean my house. It makes us both happy--I don't have to clean, my housekeeper gets paid very well (almost twice minimum wage).

-- Geography (minor@at.work), July 09, 2001.

(And nobody seems to notice!!)

Not even the landlord? When I moved out of my apartment a couple of years ago, the landlord took $100 out of my security deposit because I'd left the place so dirty. That didn't bother me; I was prepared for them to take out $200!

-- David L (bumpkin@dnet.net), July 09, 2001.

Hello Miss Anita:

Your question reminds me of an experience from two summers ago. I live in a rural area of East Texas [retired] and you know what we are like over here. As we started to eat we got a call from a telemarketer. It sounded like some college girl who was making summer money annoying people with calls. Also the most naive person I have run across. I was in one of my feisty moods [we old folks have to have fun too]. Well she said that she was calling from Dallas and her company did professional rug cleaning and would be near my home next week. She said the price was good and went on and on about the service and I politely listened and said that I was taking notes and all of that. After about 4 minutes I got a word in edgewise.

I said [with a good East Texas accent], we live in a rural area and we have dirt floors. There was a long silence. Nothing. Then this weak voice came back and said, " you have dirt floors sir [she was very polite]". I said yeah they are dirt. Every spring we cover them with wet cow manure and when it dries it makes a nice hard floor. More silence. An even weaker voice said, "you have cow manure on your floors." Yep, but we sweep them in the fall. More silence. I knew that I had a live one here. I said, or course, we have a rock floor in the bedroom where we keep the hogs. We had been going on for 10 minutes by now. The voice said, "you have hogs in the bedroom". Yep, they keep you warm in the winter and we wash it down once a month. I added, that the cage on the back of the house where we keep the mother-in-law has a steel floor to keep her from digging her way out. Without a clue that she thought that she was being put on, she said, "you keep your mother-in-law in a cage". Ye-hah, that is the way we do stuff in East Texas, says me.

I said your service sounds great, what kind of a deal can you give me. More silence. Then, Sir, I think we only do rugs. Click. I laughed so hard that I had Lone Star coming out of my nose.

Gates

-- Gates (Gates@ETexas.com), July 09, 2001.

I clean house because if I don't, the place will stink, the snakes will have things to hide under, we'll all fall down during a house fire and never make it out, and because all the animals hang around the doors pooping all day and the kids are tracking it in. I clean and I clean and I clean and it never gets done and hardly anyone will help me and ...

-- helen (miz@clean.america), July 09, 2001.

The last time I had a woman over she cleaned my place really well, I bought paper plates and paper cups after and started taking my boots off outside. It still looks good! When it gets dirty again, if it does, I'll invite up another woman who likes to clean things.

-- (Weeble@wee.ble), July 10, 2001.

Dog hair.

Sometimes we can sweep up enough to make a whole nuther dog!

Deano

-- Deano (deano@luvthebeach.com), July 10, 2001.

Other than the kitchen (which gets at least partly cleaned every day), I don't clean on a schedule. First I begin to notice the dirt, then it starts to bother me, then I begin to think about cleaning, then I wait until I have the time, then I clean. Afterward, I never claim that my house is "clean", but only that it is "cleaner".

The same process applies to "straightening things up", only the cycle is a lot shorter. I have a higher tolerance for a bit of dirt than I do for a disheveled mess.

-- Little Nipper (canis@minor.net), July 10, 2001.

The fear of embarassment in case somebody I don't know real good shows up.

BTW, Gates, that was great!

-- Carlos (riffraff@cybertime.net), July 11, 2001.

I don't know if I'd call me house clean but I do have some quirks. Certain things out of place really don't bother me but I get completely nuts about dirty carpets. I have to vacuum twice a week. The beds can go unmade, clothes can be thrown across the furniture, dishes lay dirty in the sink but don't let me ever find a spot on the rug. So the house (in general) gets a good scrub down once a week and the rest of the time, I don't care.

Gates, that was funny!

Deano, dog hair everywhere all year long!

-- Maria (anon@ymous.com), July 11, 2001.

Anita, I work on the premise that there are two kinds of dirt."Clean" dirt and "Unhealthy" dirt.Examples of clean dirt are grass clippings and mud off boots,dust etc.That gets cleaned up about twice a week.Living in an old house,the dust comes down out of the wooden ceilings spiders spin webs & woodlice curl up & die in corners.Unhealthy dirt includes spilt food,dirty bathrooms & sinks & accidents of a canine variety.These get cleaned up immediately.We have a saying that a peck of dirt never hurt anyone.There is a theory now that kids are being brought up in too antiseptic an environment & this is preventing them from building up resistance to common illnesses when they are young. Much blame has been put on the "brainwashing" of women by manufacturers of cleaning agents .ie the latest "antiseptic" counter cleaner etc.

The thing that really bugs me though is all the washing up & tidying up.Oh for a dishwasher & a tidy SO.

-- Chris (Chris@wetwindyireland.com), July 11, 2001.

you know...dishwashers really aren't so expensive...

it's the warranty that they sell ya LOL

-- (cin@cin.cin), July 11, 2001.

Chris: I agree with you on the differentiation of dirt types. I don't allow anyone under 75 years of age to walk beyond our foyer [which is QUITE large, so there's no excuse] with shoes still on their feet. This keeps the mud and grass clippings to the foyer area [which consists of something that looks like 12" 'tiles' made of something akin to rock.]

I noticed something, however, that my windex cleaning removed for a time. My kitchen counters had little dark brown "things" on it. They're insects, but I don't know what kind. I would have thought they were the droppings of a very small mouse had I not seen one move. Evidently, these insects have a very short life, as I removed two more today that were motionless.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), July 11, 2001.

BTW, I have a "thing" about placing a drink on a wood surface. I have a beautiful wood table in the kitchen. I bought it maybe seven years ago and the first year I was here in Texas, SO's sister-in-law gave me an ugly cloth to cover it. I don't WANT to cover it. I LOVE the way it looks. We eat on it, but use coasters and thick place- mats so that the food and drink spills don't seep into the wood.

Heh. Last night my daughter was watching T.V. and I looked at her and looked at the Subway drink she'd placed on the end table beside her. She said, "I can read your mind. I didn't put a coaster under my drink." She got up and got one before the drink made a ring.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), July 11, 2001.