Talk about tough love...

Mormon Instructions on Masturbation
From a Guide to Mormon Youth
====================================

"Guide to Self-Control: Overcoming Masturbation."

:: Enlist The Power Of Prayer

Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you against temptation.

Pray fervently and out loud when the temptations are the strongest.

When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell "Stop!" to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind. Then recite a portion of the Bible or sing a hymn.

:: Exercise Vigorously

Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise, which reduce emotional tension and depression.

Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.

:: Set Goals

Set a goal of abstinence. Begin with a day, then a week, month, year. Finally, commit yourself to never doing it again.

Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you but show it to no one.

If you masturbate, color that day black. Your goal will be to have no black days.

The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder, and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day.

Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months.

Set up a reward system. Each time you reach a goal, award yourself a quarter. Spend it on something that delights you.

:: Work On Self-Improvement

Work daily on a self-improvement program. Improve your relationships with your family. Increase your service to your church.

Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjoy working and talking with them.

Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through a changed self-image.

Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming tempting situations.

:: Avoid Temptation

When on the toilet or showering, leave the door partly open.

Arise immediately in the mornings. Don't lie awake in bed -- start each day with enthusiastic activity.

Avoid people, situations, pictures and reading material that might create sexual excitement.

:: Use Physical Restraints

Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not binding.

Put on several layers of clothing that would be difficult to remove while half asleep.

Hold an object -- for example, a Bible -- even in bed at night.

In severe cases, tie a hand to the bed frame.

:: Be Alert To Emotions

Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape.

Plan to counter these low periods through reading a book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.

Employ aversion therapy. To cancel out the pleasurableness of masturbating , associate something very distasteful with the act. For example, imagine bathing in a tub of worms and eating some of them.

:: "Wet Dreams" Are Normal

Nocturnal emissions or "wet dreams" empty the seminal vesicles at night during sleep. The impulses that cause the emptying come from the central nervous system.

Often an erotic dream is experienced at the same time, and is a part of this normal process.

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2001

Answers

Response to Mormon Instructions on Masterbation

So, if you see a Mormon with rope burns on a wrist...ha ha ha ha ha

I guess it's okay to dream it, but not to do it, huh?

Seems to me it would be easier to masturbate and control the mess than to have to wash sheets all the time.

But this does explain why there are always sheets out on the line in Utah, huh?

ROTFMWLOL

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2001

>When on the toilet or showering, leave the door partly open.

I guess that they don't mind having their bathrooms fill up with pets. Of course, my cat has learned how to open the doors in this house and goes where she wants to, so I put an exterior latch on the linen closet and decided to not bother about the rest.

My other comment is that this post seems to be directed at those who have to have flesh exposed and hands to accomplish the task. I know several folks, mainly women, who can get off via the washing machine while fully clothed. I shall not provide further details, but that may help to answer the question as to why there is a lot of laundry being done daily in Utah. (smile)

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2001

Sounds like the basis of a soap opera to me. . .

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2001

As The Wash Spins?

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2001

"In severe cases, tie a hand to the bed frame."

I think married Mormon men need to tie something else to the bed frame! Mormons screw like rabbits! It's not unheard of for a devote Mormon family to have 10+ children. No wonder Maria Osmond went wacky.

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2001

Some other expressions of Utah sexuality

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2001

As Meemur pointed out, leaving the bathroom door partly open results in the bathroom filling up with pets. Unfortunately, they tend to knock the door the rest of the way open. Then all that cold air flows in. (Maybe that was the point??)

I suppose there is no Mormon prohibition against exhibitionism?

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2001

So...you tie one of your hands to your bedframe. You still have a hand free...

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2001

One hand roped to the bedframe really doesn't make sense... do they do something different that requires two hands?

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2001

Carl...

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Firemouse!

LOL

[Not ROTF]

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

This seems to fit in this thread:

So what's with the tennis fetish? "I don't know," says a former aide. "He never watched it on TV and he certainly never played it. Maybe it's the short skirts and the grunting on the court he enjoys."

— An explanation in the American Spectator Online for Clinton's sudden interest in tennis.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Barefoot --I assure you, I found it inadvertantly last week while doing some more serious research on another topic.

I'm not that kind of a girl, I'm horribly vanilla in some ways. ;)

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

de nile is a long river.

I notice you bookmarked the URL. LOL

Curiosity, perhaps?

LOLOLOL

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

I did NOT bookmark the URL, smartiepants. I actually had to go looking for it like anyone else, to find it again.

Just for that you'll have to find the Lego Porn sites on your own. Harrumph.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Lego porn sites?

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

[whistling and looking up at the sky]

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Lego porn sites??

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

You mean you all haven't seen them yet???

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Aw, she's just toying around...

heh heh

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

http://drew.corrupt.net/lp/series1.html

I'll never view Legos in the same way again! Whoa!!

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

From The Housewife and the Computer Repairman series :)

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Carl!!! Room!!! Y'all!!! Room!!! But separate ones!!!

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Is that to a furnished room?

And is it atleast an example of good interior design?

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

LOL, Firemouse! You win the prize today. I haven't laughed so hard in weeks. Oh.......my poor stomach.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

My eyes...

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Guess I'll never out-perv Firemouse... by the way Git, who do you keep calling Y'all?

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Helen, put a mouse on them...

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

It's just to show I'm fluent in Southern, Carl. BTW, let me recommend Clyde Edgerton, especially Walking Across Egypt. No porno but the man has pinned down the characters of this area.

Yep, between Firemouse and Carl, I think we have the Adult Entertainment section covered. Barefoot rounds it out. BTW, Firemouse, have you seen reports of Geri Halliwell's latest performance? Very naughty--and in front of Prince Charles too. She must have thought he was Clinton.

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2001

Or Melissa Etheridge?

That naughty ex- Spice Girl

You are right Carl, no one can out-perv Firemouse. At least not in most (not all) circles I frequent, though there are others where I am by comparison the spinster great-aunt type. But you guys get to think of me this afternoon, knowing that I'll be watching the 10 year olds at soccer practice looking like a fairly normal soccer mom, and no-one there will have a clue how wide-ranging my reading is.

Since the word is used nowhere on the Web, and the category of things like the Legos and furniture need a name, I hereby dub it "fauxnography."

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2001

Damn, now I'll have to purge all my work cookies lest the IS group accuse me of sexual harassment.

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2001

After perusing firemouse's 'bookmarked' link, I found this:

Shocking!

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2001

What a hoot!

Somewhere I have a Harvard schedule I found in a used book I bought. The student has earnestly penciled in a half hour for sex twice a week.

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2001

I think I was once married to that guy.

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2001

But was that a desert, or a flood? :)

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2001