An eclectic list to chose from I'm sure you will be anxious to agree. We've had rock song, rock star, movies, good nights out, beer, books to mention just a few.

I will humbly select this one ...

:-)

-- Anonymous, July 07, 2001

Answers

In order of belly laughs -:

1... Billy Connelly doing his newpaper ads sketch , The giant slipper The incontinence pants , The areoplane turd , The priests visit.

2.. The obvious ones of Fools/Horses , Batman, The Bar and others.

3.. Fawlty Towers , you all ken the gutbusters.

4,, An audience with Bobby Thompson at the Mechanics Hall at Blaydon

5.. Selection of Dave Allans antecedoes , Ken Dodd in full flow.

6.. Radio, Tony Hancock,superb but flawed, selective Milligan and co

7.. For the ladies I gotta mention Miss Joan Rivers, chortle at her

8.. Worth a titter, Ronnie Ancona doing "Smiley Smiley ,Carol Smiley

9.. Big grins at Eric and Erns kitchen stripper scene ,also Ronnie B

10. Stanley Baxters once a year spectacular, his parody and entrances taking the mick out of Good ol Busby Berkely musicals and Hurrah

for Hollywood, the man was real talent but went for quality not quantity. * Note thats my 10 as requested, will kick myself at

some I have missed, note no film entrants, hard to sustain belly

laughs on the big screen for 90 mins, althought we all know some

that can.!!

-- Anonymous, July 07, 2001

On a comedy tip: Non movie: selected Woody Allen, Bill Hicks, Eddie Murphy. Fawlty Towers, yes, but it's finally begun to date quite horribly. Porridge, Python, Young Ones (again of its time), Dad's Army, Bilko. Selected Frasier, early Roseanne, Seinfeld, Sanders, Simpsons. Bits of Futurama, Family Guy et al. Film: bits of Lozza & Hardy, Marx Bros, Trading Places, Life of Brian/Holy Grail, Odd Couple, Sunshine Boys, Dr Strangelove, Coen Bros entire canon.

-- Anonymous, July 07, 2001

Jonno just in case I am furrowing up the wrong drill or even in the wrong field can I add another five for your ecelectic list -:

1..Scottish Hydro-Ecelectic , main sponsors of my yearly 5 a sides,

2..North Eastern Eclectic Board, memories of power cuts and nookie,

3..The Ecelectic Board that sponsors the Bill and reminds us of Bills

4..The one on the Monopo;y board, steadfastly refused to privatise.

5. The Acme Ecelective Co, USA, Loz/Hardy, 3 Stooges all worked there

-- Anonymous, July 07, 2001

In my best John Wayne voice - Aah thenk you've gaht the wrahng thread buster.

I was asking which is the best non-footie controvery we have had on the bbs? It's not a serious question BTW!

Still if Dan can come up with "Dr Strangelove" (my Number one movie) for an answer then it must have been a damned good question!

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2001

Jonno young chap - over what period ?

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2001

"You can't fight in here! This is the War Room."

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2001

Mein Fuhrer! I CAN WALK!

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2001

q: "Die ist ein Kinnerhunder und zwei Mackel uber und der bitte schön ist den Wunderhaus sprechensie?"

a: " 'Nein' sprecht der Herren 'Ist aufern borger mit zveitingen'."

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh....I thought this was the thread for the world's funniest joke. Ooops.

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2001

Or even the thread for the real 'world's funniest joke' (when I remember to c & p the right line) ;-)

Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!?

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2001

I will humbly select this one :-) says Jonno, in the race for the Senile Stakes Buff was under the impression that the esteemed one was looking for a larf, this view was consolidated when Dan the Man (3 Blahs and your oot) came in with his selection , Jonno then adopting the mantle of my mate Marion (you little namedropper Buff) then left two hopefully 2 respected members of this forum , sheepish and forlorn while he welcomed the entrance of his Panzer Pals, not good enuff mate, I expect more loyalty when the splinter clique forms ,I have already got Pit Bulls prescription form back, watch these young uns!!

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2001

Well yes Buff I was certainly seeking a larf - but the ones that came along were on an unexpected tack. Nivvor meynd - as long as we can laugh - it might not be so easy once the season starts. :-)

Anyway Buff, when are we going to see you put in another appearance at SJP? All right, all right I know they didn't come to see you when you were bad but I'm sure we'd all like to see you again. I'll find out what games Suzie Brown Ale is coming to see as an extra incentive for you. I'm sure we can get round your ban in Bar Oz and The Strawberry ...

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2001

Jonno, I am becoming more and more disturbed. No, we always knew I was disturbed anyway, but this is in particular relation to your attitude. I fear you have spent too much time in the company of the BBS top pessimist, and many of your recent postings have alluded to a depressing time to come. Whatever happened to the positive attitude you once displayed? Not that I am suggesting you get back to the total foolishness once displayed by your infamous accronym. However, dare I say, TINWJ (this is not wor Jonno). The sooner you get back to GOC the better. Too much pessimism is, well, just too pessimistic.

As for the Buffster, I wholeheartedly agree. Get yersel' doon fer a weekend hinney.

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2001

Screach, (copywrightMrs Dales Diary, Radio Home Service ) ...........

I have also been concerned about Jonno of late , but unlike you it is

not his pessisism that concerns me, in fact the opposite , his cyber

language of late indicates a `I don`t give a feck attitude` . The

symptons are classic examples of long term Newcastle supporters who

reach that milestone in their later years , reflect on years gone by,

and come to the conclusion in typical Pythonesque manner by shouting

from SJP, "What have them bar-stewards ever done for me". Clarky is

nearing that stage in his life, not sure how he will respond, Pit Bull

is past it,!! you are approaching it and have moved back into GOC to

be nearer the source but always with access to a jetplane to get you

away quickly in case the symptons take hold, Our senior ex-pats can

take a more balanced view . having made the descision approaching the

cut off point not to return they can only read from afar as we turn to

frivolity one by one. Your diet nose of the patient is wrong friend,

As for coming doon guys, will do this year, I have plenty time

off , just had a 16 day break revisiting family memories and had when

in Edinburgh decided to pay a short visit, Pete in Canada was right,

my digs were taken by Calgarians avoiding the stampede . I could have

stayed with Supa-Kev for a couple of days , sleeping with the enema,

nah, 7 days in our old caravan, panoramic views of the forest and

sea, the early morning call of the birds , Nimrods , odd Herc ,tornado

and two planes with blue crosses, (Swedish)? Two rounds at the Golf,

on the course where I learned to hack, where I realised over 25 yrs

ago that Golf was not for the few in Scotland but a way of life for

the many. With the best of beer and lager at £1-50 a pint who could

complain, now I am back into it, organising Village Fun Week end of

month , still waiting for Neil Simpson to reply to me (ex Newcastle)

bit like Bobbies fete, team photos £2 a time (kids 5 a sides) with

local celeb , no reply will hire Angus the Bull Aberdeen Mascot cost

and get in line-up mesel, never beat. Sept have booked the Fortunes

for our marquee night, I know they had hits in the 60`s but for the

life of me I cannot remember, anyone out there? Its a slow paced

life but time consuming , but I am due a visit, see ya later

-- Anonymous, July 08, 2001

I am due a visit, see ya later

There we are then - reasons for optimism already!!!

What have them bar-stewards ever done for me

Dear me, I asked myself that almost every season since 61/62. All those humiliating cup defeats in the 60's. But I coined the line back then (and it was nicked by no less than JFK) "Ask not what the Toon can do for you - ask what you can do for the Toon", and I shall be there doing it once again come August - well earlier what with the Inter2bob mercilessly cutting the dry season short.

No I'm as optimistic as ever about the new season. (My grip on reality is that tenuous). My hopes for this year include :-

Premiership Title
FA Cup
EUFA Cup
League Cup (to give it it's proper title)
Queen's Award to Industry for FS & DH
£20m bids from Juve and Barca for Marcellino (rejected)
Shearer returns better than ever and 40 goals into the season rejects overtures from Sven.
An aircraft flying all the World's football agents to their annual jamboree unfortunately crashes into the sea resulting in the loss of all on board except the pilot and crew. (Mid air collision with a similar party of football journalists)
Alex Ferguson emulates Brian Clough's final season and takes Heath into Division 1.
Chopra and Offiong are transferred for £60m as they are holding up the progress of much better players coming through the academy.
Central heating installed at Kingston Park

Ok that last one is a bit of a joke, but me fingers are trembling as I type (what can you take for Alzheimer's?) - It's ganna be wor year.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

Missed one!

Beatification of YBR.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

My hope for the new season? Easy - a permanent smile on Jonno's face.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001

If any ONE of these happens you will KNOW there is a God. If none of these happens there will still be The Strawberry, Dougal, Dr Bill, Softie, Suzie Brown Ale, Screacher, Gibbo, Steph, Clarky, Pit Bill etc, all of whom are far more important than any of the above

There is no downside here.

-- Anonymous, July 09, 2001