my b*st*rd season ticket has not arrived so I can't apply for intertoto tickets. What an absolutely pustulent day. Anyone else in a foul mood?

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2001

Answers

you've a natural head start on most of us

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2001

The club may be squeezing your pennies from you, but I wouldn't let the situation make you red faced. A spot of bother is usual with these things, but given time zit's bound to clear up.

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2001

You taking the pus, Bobby?

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2001

Haven't got mine yet either dougal. Think I'll try calling the ticket Office - it's usually be good for a laugh!

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2001

It's clearasil to me that you lot aren't taking me seriously... Clarky, see my other thread re season ticket.

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2001

You must have a weird sense of humour Clarky, cos I see nowt to laff at in half an hour of 'Please hold, you're in a queue of one but we're so well organised, it'll take the rest of today to find somebody with enough nous to pick up the phone.' :-))

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2001

Dougal - re that season ticket that hasn't arrived yet. Would that be the one I was hoping to use this season? Thought so. You'd have thought they could squeeze one more, wouldn't you. We'll have to get to the bottom of this matter.

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2001

Don't worry your little black head. You'll soon be back in your Stridex.

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2001