Do you think of yourself as a grown-up? Or do you still think you're too irresponsible, and someone else ought to be in charge? Do you ever feel like your parents are going to show up at any minute and send you to your room?

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

Answers

I tried but it didn't take.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

No no. I'm a pretend adult. I'm a big, phony, pod-person kind of adult who's going to be arrested by the Danger-to-Society Police. Even though I seem fully capable and I can function with a job and apartment and bills and responsibilities and a sink full of dishes that gets, occasionally, cleaned, I've fucked up enough stupid shit to realized that it's just a matter of time before I fall right flat down on my face and everything, all of the above, crumbles into tiny little pieces.

Also, I wear PowerPuff Girls t-shirts, eat Cocoa Krispies, and secretly want to be an astronaut when I grow up.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

My theory has always been that the true sign of adulthood is knowing when to be serious and responsible and when to be silly and goofy. Adulthood shouldn't mean acting mature all the time, it just means picking the right times.

The next step, of course, is to choose a lifestyle such that acting like a kid is appropriate at least 95% of the time.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

I did see myself as a grown-up, when I was seventeen years old and left home to study in another city. But that feeling passed. My problem is, having spend seven years at university, and even some more years teaching there too, I still think of myself as a student. My real life will begin later.

So it seems I don't really know what it is I'm doing right now.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

I'm still afraid that someone will come by and revoke my adulthood license. I mean, I pay my bills on time, we're buying a house and all. My little brother's even married with a baby on the way. I guess this is adulthood.

But cartoons and games are so much more interesting than work, and I still find myself rationalising how I can do the least possible work for the least possible time in a day and still not take vacation time. Mature? Didn't think so.

The weird part, to me, is looking at my parents and others that I've always seen as the responsible adult sort and discovering that they felt the same way at 30 (when they had a house and two cars and two kids and I REMEMBER their adult-ness) and that they sometimes still feel the same way.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

Ha, I wrote about this very thing last week.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

Me, a grownup? HAH!

Never mind that whole just-graduated-from-college thing. Never mind that I'm getting a promotion (which sadly includes a 7 a.m.-4 p.m. work schedule, but oh well) in a month. Never mind that I've been buying my own food, clothes, books and random crap for quite awhile now.

Mommy and Daddy said I'd have to start paying my own rent and phone bill in September! Waaah! I'm TRAUMATIZED!

Okay, okay, maybe that drama queen thread influenced me on that last bit, but it's a weird thought nevertheless. I still feel irresponsible with regards to home stuff, and I'm amazed that I (a) managed to write all the thank-you notes (b) paid the phone bill, EARLY and (c) the rent, EARLY last night. I still think my parents are going to barge in and send me home...actually I wouldn't be surprised if they did :P

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

Hell no, I'm not a grownup. I'm a 24 year old teenager. I still live at home. Sure, I pay rent and I have a steady office job and I own my own car and pay my own bills and do exactly as I please... but I still feel like a kid.

Actually, I like it. I can run around and be stupid and waste lots of money on clothes and beer and cigarettes and clubs and music and shows. It's kind of hard finding a private moment with my boyfriend (who also lives at home due to circumstances beyond his control - but he'll be moving in a month) but man - I don't want to move out and be an adult again for a long time.

Though when I do, I'll still stay in bed and watch Blue's Clues every Saturday morning.

.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

Has this subject taken a tangent off towards the last Debate Club topic, or is that just me?

=/

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

Are you suggesting that we suck because we eat Cocoa Puffs and watch Blue's Clues, or that we suck because we don't do those things?

Man. We should debate Cocoa Puffs vs Cocoa Pebbles vs Cocoa Krispies.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

Ahem. Cocoa Krispies! The most concentrated cocoa goodness, in a tiny little nubby rice-looking thing you're ever going to get. Plus, you can get a lot more krispies on your spoon than Puffs. Also! Cocoa Puffs has the most annoying spokesbird/thingie ever, ever, ever.

Mar: Blue's Clues rocks. Have you ever seen Bear in the Big Blue House? I am in love with that show. The cha cha cha song just kills me.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

No way, dude. Cocoa Krispies get stuck in your teeth. I have a special fondness for Cocoa Pebbles, but Cocoa Puffs are the most substantial; they stick in your gut like a big warm lump of chocolately love. I need to buy some soon.

(Morpheus: does this answer your question?)

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

Lord, no. As a general rule, I think that if you are adult enough to have a mortgage, you should be adult enough to keep track of the payment coupon.

All the signs are there -- very own house, vehicle, pets, job -- but it can't be so. I don't know who this woman is who's maintaining my life and managing to keep me afloat and looking relatively responsible . . . because I'm just a girl who can never find her keys.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

Yeah. When you have twin two year olds, somebody has to be the grownup. Somebody has to make sure there's milk and diapers and clean clothes and doctors' appointments. Since the girlies don't drive, have jobs, or shop well, my husband and I figure the job falls to us.

Hey! I watch Blue's Clues everyday. And I talk back to Steve, too. I say things like, "Hey, moron! The clue is right behind you!"

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

Yeah Jen, I like Bear (my favorite episode is the special one about the potty) but nowhere near as much as I love Blue's Clues. I have Blue and Magenta shoelaces in my Docs.

I talk back to Steve too, but it's more along the lines of "Oh my god you are so cute will you please come marry me Steve and sing the mail song every day?"

I found a talking Steve doll at Kay-bee toys - and had it not been so ugly I would have bought it. He and I had a long conversation in the aisle. "You sure are smart!" "Why thank you Steve, I think so too!" "I think you're really special!" "Oh Steve, you always know the right things to say." Children were staring at me.

It's sad when a plastic headed doll can boost your self-esteem like that. I'm still tempted to go back and get the damned thing.

Oh, and I cast my vote for Cocoa Puffs. They're really damned good with vanilla ice cream.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

Martie, do you have "Blue's Big Musical" movie? It is very cute and Steve even gets a bit pouty 'cause he never finds a clue himself. And I kid about Steve being a moron. Nick Jr. used to run the same episode every day for a week. Gets to be a bit tedious when you know where all the clues are.

Personally, I like Mr. Salt, Mrs. Pepper, and Paprika. Particularly because even though the parents have French accents, baby Paprika most definitely does not. Yeah!

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

Nope, I do not have it. My Blue's Clues viewing is limited to Sunday mornings at 8am since I don't have cable.

I love Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper. And Mailbox. And Blue. And Magenta. And most of all, Steve.

I hate Shovel and Pail, Periwinkle, and Tickety Tock.

OK. That's enough. I am not four. ;)

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

I'm in between. I don't think of myslef as grown up but the other day, when I had to gently admosnish my little one for potty talk, I knew that I had my ticket and was heading down the track to boring ol' stupid grown up city. I know it's supposed to be a round trip, but I still worry that when I turn 60 I won't remember where I left the other half and that I'll be stuck in crustyville forever.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

It depends. I was just observing that my house still looks like a college student lives there, and I feel helpless in dealing with some fix it tasks around the place.

But I feel like I have a sense of perspective that isn't there in the teenagers I talk to, who are SO SERIOUS about saving the world and making everything fair. I'm glad they feel that way, it would be worse if they were cynical. And I'm not cynical, exactly, just not able to see everything in black and white any more. That feels like adulthood to me.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

Grown up...hmmm...(Bob) Dylan has a line about that. For me, I was older at 12 than I am at 40 with a mortgage. Not sure how that happened.... www.moonsigns.net

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

Ugh. This question hurts because it was just a few months ago that it hit me that I'll never be a kid again. Shudder. You spend your whole life as a child, gradually acquiring bits of control over your life and craving more, trying to set things up to be able to get out of the house when you want to, to stay up as late as you want, to be more like the adults. Then, one day, it's like you realize you were traveling so fast that you missed the sign "You are now entering adulthood," and it's miles and miles back there now, lost on the road somewhere a thousand diaper changes, several dozen oil changes and a few annual reviews ago.

I have a minivan. I took my 401k out of tech stocks in time, and I'm starting to save for my kids' college. The kids who take my keys when I park call me "Mister." The local cops are overgrown boys who smile at my son when we walk through the center of our suburban shopping strip. They call me "Sir." The pastor of my church calls me up for free legal advice.

Weird. A part of me -- the part I like best -- is hiding from chores right now, sitting under the spreading branches of the apple tree and reading a book. But that kid is just a passenger in my life now, looking back over his shoulder at that sign we missed, and I'm thegrown-up driving with one hand and with the other giving a sippy cup to the real little boy in my real back seat, who has HIS whole life (including the apple tree) still ahead of him.

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2001

I know most of you are going to laugh at this, but I'm going to be twenty (gasp) in a month and a half, and I'm a little scared. I mean, I won't be able to be a reckless teenager anymore. I'll be a twentysomething! Augh! (And my parents won't be able to make excuses about the way I dress or the piercings or the hair by saying "Oh, she's a teenager, she'll grow out of it.")

Seriously, though, I'm going to have my very own apartment this fall, and I'm very excited about it. I'm planning on having a kids' table with coloring books and crayons and markers and such, but still. I'll be paying the bills (with someone else's money, but that's neither here nor there) and buying the food and (gasp) cooking my own meals. I'm nervous, and excited.

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2001

Sure. Once I realized that I wasn't magically going to morph into my mom (which I pretty much thought would happen when I was little). For the longest time I kept waiting for "something" to happen. What, I don't know. But it slowly started to dawn on me that nothing was going to smack me into adulthood. I was already there having glided in many years ago. You know when I question if I really am a grown-up ? Whenever I have to do something that requires a signed contract or a lawyer. Then I feel like Hamlet and my inner monologue runs wild.

-- Anonymous, July 02, 2001

I know what you mean, Emily. Me, I celebrated my tenth 19th Birthday a couple of months ago. Peter Pan was always my role model...

When my mother was mildly confused by the text on a DragonTales drink box the other day, I was able to helpfully explain the rhyme used by Emmy and Max to get to DragonLand, and supply the rhyme used to return home from memory. I also have a modest but cherished collection of Between the Lions episodes on videotape, and I'm very tempted to start a Babs Caplan fan club. I can tell which season of Zoom I'm watching within moments of tuning into an episode. (Muby Ububbubi Dububbubish ubis tuberrubibuble, thubough.) I still regret the loss of the third stanza of the Sesame Street theme.

Clotheswise, well, I wear Tweety T-shirts, a Cat in the Hat baseball cap, and a denim jacket embroidered with the Kellogg's Corn Flakes rooster.

As for the chocolate cereal debate... I'd put Cocoa Pebbles in first place, followed very closely by Cocoa Krispies. Cocoa Puffs are just too big.

-- Anonymous, July 04, 2001

I desparately want to be one of those people who are adult in age only, who feel forever young and revel in the fun stuff they do that society says only children should do.

Yet I also want to be a responsible, organized, adult person with savings, insurance, a fancy new car, PTA meetings, and meals with nutritional value.

So I waver. The day we spent an insane amount of money on art - original, hand made, direct from the artist art, not a copy of art - I got serious "ack, grown up people buy art" willies. But I reminded myelf that what we bought - a hand-painted and carved 6-sided game cube with original chess pieces representing Wizard of Oz - wasn't exactly equivelant to owning a Picasso. Especially since we actually use it to play the games. So it's art (ack!) and functional (is there a more grown up word than functional) but it's all about playing games.

Some days I think about how, at a mere 13 days from 32 (happy same- birthday, Beth!), I've got years left to have a baby. Then I think about how a girl I went to school with has a kid who got his driver's license recently. Granted, she had a kid at 16, but, still, I'm old enough to have a kid that drives. I'm old enough, had I gotten pregnant at 16, to be a grandmother if that kid then repeated the mistake. That freaks me out but then I remember that for many years I couldn't drive because I did a stupid kid thing and I unclench a bit.

I collect antique kitchen gadgets but also Pokemon cards. The kitchen stuff is for display, the Pokemon cards get played with. I spend hours every weekend futzing around in the flower beds and with the container plants but our house is falling down and the grass is taller than the cat because we can't be bothered with home improvement or yard maintenance, the very hallmarks of adulthood.

I watch PBS and listen to NPR but some of my favorite shows are aimed at the so-called teen market - Buffy and Gilmore Girls. I own a DVD player but only because it's part of the Playstation 2. My favorite film so far this summer is Cats & Dogs. I called my mom when we lost power for 15 hours to find out if the food in my freezer was still good.

In the end, I think I have the best of both worlds and I wouldn't want it any other way.

-- Anonymous, July 05, 2001