Can't get enough of Private Eye...this just makes yer vomit

In Athens on Wednesday night [David] Beckham was a poetic thing to see. He didn't have to be scoring a goal to look poetic. He looked poetic just trapping a lobbed ball with his chest, as if rising to sacrifice himself by intercepting a meteorite. He looked poetic just standing there, while the missiles sportingly thrown by the Greek fans bounced around him. He looked too poetic to be the incarnation of a socio-political trend, but he was.
CLIVE JAMES
Independent

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

Answers

Athenian Player

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

And there's more...shoot me now...

David Beckham belongs to a different category. He is not only a divine illusion of the media -- his rippled stomach glistening for The Face's studio shoot, his mohican haircut heightening the aspect of a noble savage -- he also has a godlike skill. Even uninitiates of British football will experience a swoon of awe at a Becks free kick... The bloodlike sauce dribbling down his magnificent Apollonian physique in The Face is no lazy contrivance of the popular press. There is a pagan darkness to the eyes.
ALEXANDER LINKLATER
The Times

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

Poetry in motion, maybe.

Motion's in poetry too.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

Poetry in motion or pissing in action.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

"There is a pagan darkness to the eyes"

When I was at school that was called "a vacant look"

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001

Tosser: he's not fit to stir George Best's dry Martini.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2001