An airplane was about to crash, and there were 5 passengers left, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger, Tony Blair said, I am the Prime Minister of the UK, and I have a great responsibility, being the leader of 60 million people, and a superpower, etc., and I am also the smartest prime minister ever. So he takes the first parachute, and jumps out of the plane.

The second passenger said, I’m Alan Shearer, one of the greatest footballers in the Europe, and the Newcastle need me, so I can’t afford to die. So he takes the second parachute, and leaves the plane.

The third passenger, Hillary Clinton, said; I am the wife of the former President of the United States, I am New York’s Senator, and I am the smartest woman in the world. So she takes the third parachute and exits the plane.

The fourth passenger, an old man, says to the fifth passenger, a 10 year old boy scout, I am old and frail and I don’t have many years left, so as a Christian gesture and a good deed, I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute. The boy scout said, It’s okay, there’s a parachute left for you. The world’s smartest prime minister took my backpack.

-- Anonymous, June 24, 2001

Answers

Ha ha, nice one macbeth

-- Anonymous, June 24, 2001

News Flash

Ferrari Hires Mackems as Pit Crew

The Ferrari F1 Team recently fired the whole Pit-Crew to employ some young unemployed youths from Sunderland.

The decision to hire them was brought on by a documentary on how unemployed youths in the Sunderland area, can remove a set of car wheels in less than 4 sec without proper equipment.

This was thought to be a good move as most races are won & lost in the pits these days & Ferrari would have an advantage.

However Ferrari soon encountered a major problem:

Not only were the lads changing the tyres in under 4 seconds but within 10 secs they had resprayed, re-numbered and sold the vehicle to the McLaren team.



-- Anonymous, June 25, 2001

The two best jokes of the month ... well done lads.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 2001

One day a guy came out of the local bar, he was extremely drunk. He began to stumble his way around the parking lot with his key in his hand.While he is looking for his car he stumbles past a police officer. The cop asks the guy if he needs any help. The guy mumbles out "I've been robbed!" The cop replies "What has been stolen?" "My car ,it's gone!" he says. The cop asks "Where did you see it last?" "It was right here on the end of my key!" he says. The cop then notices that the guy has his dick hanging out of his pants and its swinnging around.The cop asks "Do you know your penis is exposed?" The guy replies "OH SHIT, they stole my girlfriend too!!!!!!!!"

-- Anonymous, June 27, 2001

A ventriloquist is touring clubs in the north east.

With his dummy on his knees, he's going through his usual dumb makem jokes when a guy in a red and white striped shirt in the audience stands on a chair and shouts, "I've heard enough of your stupid makem jokes. What does the color of a person's shirt have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep people like me from being respected at work and from reaching our full potential!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist starts to apologize, when the makem yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little bastard sitting on your knee!"

-- Anonymous, July 03, 2001