Superkev goes to his doctor, he has a banana stuck in each ear, two more in his nostrils and another up his ar$e. He asks the doctor "What's wrong with me?" The doctor replies: "Isn't it obvious you stupid ape... you aren't eating properly!"

Hat, coat, door..bye ;-)

-- Anonymous, June 19, 2001

Answers

Abominable Primate

;7)

-- Anonymous, June 19, 2001

My personal favourite:

Two boys are playing football in a northeast park when one of them is attacked by a rotweiller. Thinking quickly, his friend rips a plank of wood from a fence, forces it into the dog’s collar and twists it, breaking the dog's neck and killing it. While this is going on a Sun reporter is watching. He gets out his notepad and pen and rushes over. He starts writing "Brave Mackem saves mate's life." The boy interrupts, "I'm not a Sunderland fan," he says. The reporter crosses it out and writes "Plucky smog rescues pal." "I'm not a Boro fan either," says the boy. The reporter turns and asks; "Well who do you support?" "Newcastle," the boy replies. The reporter sighs heavily rips out the page and starts writing "Viscious Geordie bastard kills family pet..."

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2001

Actually ML3 that just about sums up the press's attitude to NUFC.

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2001

Like it ML#3!

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2001

I've heard that one before ML#3, except it had a Sunderland fan in the punchline. Still a canny one though

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2001

Tom, Dick and Superkev were in the pub enjoying a few quiet drinks one night, when they decided to get in on the weekly raffle. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, they each won a prize. Tom won the first prize - a whole year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce. Dick was the winner of the second prize - six month's supply of extra-long gourmet spaghetti. And Superkev won the sixth prize - a toilet brush. When they met in the pub a week later, Superkev asked the others how they were enjoying their prizes. "Great," said Tom. "I love spaghetti." "So do I," said Dick. "And how's the toilet brush, Superkev?" "Not so good," Superkev said, "I reckon I'll go back to paper."

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2001

The Rotweiler joke was origionaly a Liverpool joke, as THE SUN had it in for the scousers after the hillsbourgh disaster.

-- Anonymous, June 22, 2001