She stepped slowly up to the front of the stage, grabbed the mike stand to steady herself, and ran her liquid eyes over the massive crowd......... add......

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2001

Answers

And ran screaming as soon as she saw she was in front of actual real live PEOPLE!!!!! Way too shy,way too shy, way too shy.Did I say I was way too shy?

OH no, not some more of that values clarification hocus pocus ;oD

I had my 15 minutes of fame later on,so no regrets what so ever.This was really a great posting Earthmamma.How did you come up with it?My, you do think too much,too.

Welcome aboard, Mate

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2001

Oh no, you're not getting off that easy, sharon...

She stepped slowly up to the front of the stage, grabbed the mike stand to steady herself, and ran her liquid eyes over the massive crowd...

Opens her mouth to sing and lets out a MASSIVE, multi-toned, harmonic- phased, earth-shattering belch! (followed by a tiny squeaker fart) The audience is stunned at first but then goes wild for this new type of "odiferous" alternative rock music and soon the belch/squeaker fart is climbing the charts to sit at the number one spot on Casey Casem's American Top 40...

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2001

....and once she had that first awe-inspiring platinum record, she hooked the animals and kids and drug em up there, knowing that noone could surpass the amazing hoots and blows of her clan....

"Wait! She yells, where's that dog?? How are we going to get that double platinum w/o old trusty's dog farts? Come on, we're going for the ultimate in self-sufficiency! Now, on the count of three; one, two, three!"

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2001

Well, Jim...Bathroom humor, huh? Well,I can see this has taken a turn for the worse.You know I hate bathroom humor.That's why you did it,I know.I'm beginning to think you are exceedingly strange.Funny ,but definitely strange.I heard that somewhere.

Well ,let me try to clean up your mess...They settle on a name for the band...Bare A** Nekked Shaking Quaker Ladies.Besides Sexy,Slinky Sharon and her Salty Dogs,it's members also include Kinky King James,who in addition to singing harmony, also plays a mean cyberfiddle.

Earth...Yore Mamma shakes her tamborine,among other things that have fallen loose over the years.Pea Pod Wino is on the one man saw with his one good arm.PolecatPolly perfumes the air while she performs percussion,picking a peck of purple pea pods for her man,Wino,to whom she always submits,unconditionally.

Poke salet Annie agonizes and antagonizes the crowd with her antics on the antistatic acordian.

It's an eclectic mix.

They cut a deal, cut a record by cutting the cheese,cut the rag rug up on stage as part of their act, and cut some corners on their world tour,ending up in Minnesota,of all places....

-- Anonymous, June 18, 2001

at a command performance for Governor Jesse Ventura. During the poignant ballad "I Can't Love You Since You Shot My Dog", the governor is observed with tears streaming down his face. In the midst of the rousing finale "21 Bun Salute", the governor rushes on stage, dropping to his knees in awe of Sharon et al's prowess, and begs to be allowed to forget entirely about politics for a life on the road with them.

"Well, we do need someone to shlepp the amps and tend the goats. Ok." she replies, then decides to buy a used Casino bus to transport their burgeoning act. It looks like a reject from 'Road Warrior', but heck, it's got three tires with pretty good tread left anyway, and gets great mileage on methane and vegetable oil based fuel.

Unfortunately, someone forgot to check inside the bus before they closed the deal....

-- Anonymous, June 18, 2001

..........seems that all the windows in the bus were super glued shut, and it was 100 miles down the road toward the tiny town of Pleasant Breeze (name later changed) before they realized they could not get any air into the bus. Last reports were the bus was sitting on the side of the road with the driver humped over the steering wheel and fumes emitting from all the tiny cracks along the top of the bus. We are waiting for new reports to come any minute........

-- Anonymous, June 19, 2001