Planning on gettin' married next month after being together for 4 happy years. I hate crowds and planning 9000 details for something. We're thinking of just running away one weekend. Anyone else do this? Are you glad? Wish you had'nt? Would like to hear anyone's stories. Also if you know of any nice secluded places to honeymoon in the midwest that would be nice info too.

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2001

Answers

Congratulations Debra! You sure don't waste any time, Dubyah only signed the bill to eliminate the marriage penalty today and now you're running off and getting hitched! A lot of folks around here like to go down to Gatlinburg for their honeymoon, they have some nice little secluded cottages for rent there.

Still resisting the institution of matrimony....

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2001

I did, the first time. Since I'm in a second marriage,that tells you the rest of the story.

I would not get married the second time lest Nick agreed to a minister and a church.I have no idea why it was important but it was.As much for my two wonderful mothers as anyone,I expect.

Nick said I'm the only woman that he'd ever go into a church for. Now that's love! I guess that was the point,after all.You have to know him to understand the significance.

It was a historic little meeting house type like I went to as a child.It had been restored and moved to a local park.

We had a really nice picnic in Mom T's back yard afterwards.Everyone cooked(good cooks all) and contributed. Nick roasted a pig and we had a ball.So you can celebrate the occasion in a simple,joyous and fitting manner w/o all the fluff,if that's what you want.

Congrats,lady and enjoy!

And southern Illinois down in the (is it) Shawnee Nat Forest?(I forget what is where) south of Marion is nice,as long as the earthquake doesn't hit-right Polly?

Arkansas south of (David what is that lake below Springfield?) Tannee como? Anyway that's really nice country.I looked for land in both places. Drove every National Forest road that was fit to travel.And a few that weren't. Nissan pickups hold up pretty well to horrible abuse.

But I digress.

I have some B& B sites.I'll look them up and post this evening.I remember driving past some nice farm type ones.

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2001

Eureka Springs, Arkansas is a great place for a honeymoon, plus several places to get hitched at to. That's where my sweetie pie and I honeymooned. Lots of luck. Sherry

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2001

Well, mine has to be second hand. Some friends of mine were getting married, and didn't have a lot of money to spend, but the families wanted it commemorated SOME how. I finally talked her into doing the ceremony in rennaissance garb, since they were already SCA members as well as most of the rest of the wedding group. We outfitted the ones who weren't out of spare wardrobe. They rented a canopy, booked the public building at a local park, and had a justice of the peace perform the ceremony (couldn't talk him into monk's robes, alas) under the canopy.

I tied up the bouquets that morning from flowers I bought out of the refrigerated case at the grocery store with satin ribbons I'd found on sale at a craft shop, very much like little posey bouquets and did it for about $10 total.

The bride and I set the tables up that morning, the groom's brother hauled in a pig roaster and got that going, and the menu consisted of roast pig and turkey drumsticks, potatoes, and salads that family members made and brought. The cake was professionally done. We even had the time to spend on the swings at the park, it was so relaxed instead of obsessive. Everyone pitched in to help clean up, it was like a big extended family picnic, and aside from the garbed theme, I've got to think that that was a lot like weddings used to be.

The bride and groom drove cross country to Montana for their honeymoon and spent it on an archaeological dig.

Or you could go to Niagara Falls!

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2001

Congrats debra!

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2001

Just let me add my congrats too!! Wishin you the very best of everything!!

If you want to elope, then do it! When I got married,seemed like all the decisions were made to please other people. Do it the way you two want it done.

Hey, if you want a nice secluded place to honeymoon rustic style, I got lotsa land up here!

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2001

Here's a pretty inclusive site for bed & breakfasts http://www.go- native.com/ Go native B&B

Here's another one http://www.bbonline.com/ B&B online

That should get you started.Some are very reasonably priced-some not.I stayed at one and really enjoyed it.So homey.

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2001

Congrats, Debra. We wanted to do our own thing when we got married, and keep it simple. We found a Unitarian minister, picked an earth- based ceremony, and invited all our friends to a sunrise ceremony at our favorite spot in the Everglades. Everyone had to get there by about 6 am, and it was an hour drive for most! We had other friends prepare a brunch spread at our house while this was going on. It worked out perfectly, was absolutely stunningly beautiful with the sun rising through the mist making a surrealistic orange/pink glow, alligators cruising the water below us, and the Anhingas spreading their wings in the trees above. It was just what we wanted, and many guests thanked us for making them experience such natural beauty. The honeymoon was a drive down to the Florida Keys in the VW bus with a canoe. The canoe was a last minute addition that we received as a most appreciated wedding gift.

We did just what we wanted, and it was perfect for us. It really helped that no one else was involved. Hope you can do what is perfect for you, and thanks for bringing back these memories.

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2001

Wow way to go Debra!!!! I think the prettiest wedding are the garden variety. Simple and the smell is great.....congratulations....Kirk

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2001

Congratulations Debra! My marriage experience was in the mid '70's -- the whole white wedding thing. I wouldn't do that today. Good suggestions here!

-- Anonymous, June 08, 2001

We lived together for a couple years but for financial reasons we got married---for each of us our second. We were kinda nervous. Didn't wanna mess up what we had cause things were going well.

We figured, lets elope, so maybe WE won't even notice it. So thats what we did. Drove across the state to Watertown ND, got a marriage license and got married the next day. We were right---hardly even noticed it. Didn't tell family or anyone.

A couple weeks later the lady next door sez "Congratulations!" I say "What for?" "Why on your wedding!" she sez. I ask "How do you know about that?" She sez "My sister lives in Watertown and saw it in the paper."

Very, very strange!

-- Anonymous, June 08, 2001

Congratulation debra...keeping it simple sounds nice. I guess not knowing much about your family or if there are any children already etc. makes it hard to offer advice. I eloped back in the early 60's and wouldn't recommend that, but since you have been together for so long I would just try and do what would be meaningful to the two of you. Are you close with parents?? siblings? would anyone feel really hurt if they were not a part of it?? Could you live with it if they did?? My daughter did very simple with just parents and siblings and it was really lovely. We all had a good time and I sure was glad for ALL of us as I don't like crowds myself. Best wishes to you both.

-- Anonymous, June 08, 2001

Best wishes for happiness, Debra; and congrats to the groom!

One white wedding with all the trimmings, one in a minister's office and one in a courtroom with a judge presiding. The only thing I would definatly rule out is Las Vegas with Elvis singing the vows!! I preferred the private wedding (2nd) with a big family reception afterward, I guess because I think marriage is a private thing between two people - wish I hadn't even had to have an official present...

My daughter was planning a huge extravaganza. But then the kids were looking at a bride book and wishing they could go somewhere with a white sand beach on their honeymoon (he's in the service; little moola). I said "You tone this wedding down and I will send you to Cancun or Cozumel for three days at my expense." We are now looking at a big white tent in the yard, 3 less attendants, and a dj service and hog roast following the ceremony! I'm happy, they're happy.

As to secluded places to honeymoon here in the midwest, well, what do you want to do on your honeymoon - no giggling here, folks! In Illinois, Galena is nice if you like overpriced antiques; the Shawnee National Forest does have cabins for rent, as does Fox Ridge State Park at Charleston. I also liked Hannibal, MO. Lookout Mt., TN is also pretty but touristy. St. Louis has a lot to do, but I would stay outside of town and drive in. I think my favorite place near here would have to be the motel at (No, I'm not kidding!) Meramaec Caverns, in MO. Not fancy AT ALL!! but very secluded and is set on a beatiful stream where you can wade or fish or whatever. It really isn't close to anything else to do that I know of.

-- Anonymous, June 08, 2001

Hey, Conratulations!!! That's great news! We married in a judge's chambers, took a riverboat cruise, then took off for Bardstown, KY. We had a great time! Stayed in the Talbott Tavern in the Lincoln Suite. It's since burned down but there are many B&Bs there. Lots of history and close to many places like Shakertown. That's probably more south than you had in mind. If we ever redo our vows, I think we'll go for an outdoor pagan ceremony. And then go on one of those canoe/camping trips on the lakes in Minnesota. I'm wishing you much happiness!

-- Anonymous, June 08, 2001

Congradulations! Steve and I got married at the church down the road and just came home and watched a movie while ooogling all our presents! We got up the next morning and went to church because they had the Thanksgiving Pot Luck after church, can't miss all that food! We didn't have anyone to watch all the critters, and we didn't really care to go anywhere anyway, so we just stayed home. He lived here anyway. You have fun and go ahead and run away if you want. (just be sure to tell us all about it!)

-- Anonymous, June 08, 2001

First one, white wedding, outdoors. My dad offered me the same deal Polly offered her daughter but I was too stupid to take him up on it.

Second marriage, ran to the courthouse with only our parents & nephew. That was in Feb. Now we're getting ready to renew our vows with all our friends present in a medieval handfasting ceremony at a ren faire next weekend.

Hey, Julie, are you SCA too? Or anybody else out here have armor hiding in their closets I didn't know about? I'll start a new thread to avoid the drift here.

Congrats Debra. In my opinion I would so go for a small ceremony or just a courthouse wedding and enjoy your honeymoon. It lasts a longer and I think private time with hubby is better than a big wedding!!

-- Anonymous, June 08, 2001

When Bunny & I got married, I did not want any clergy of any sort around -- what's it got to do with them?! Bunny, who considers himself a Christian, thought for a bit maybe he should have some pastor friend of his officiate. I balked at this, because it would make a hypocrite out of me, but I left the idea lay there. Meanwhile, I mentioned all sorts of planning one would have to do, for a wedding with piles of people as guests. Bunny was quiet. Then I said, why don't we just do the justice of the peace thing at the courthouse with your two (grown) kids, my mother & my two best friends, and my godson can be my "best person"(instead of a bridesmaid.) Oh, YES! cried the bunny, and so it was and they lived happily ever after. We also had a reception 2 days later, and my one piece of advice is to let someone else do ALL the cooking/catering/organizing. We were both so uptight, not being party people, that we did not have a good time at all. Hell, I didn't even get to eat! The guests were happy, though. Anyhow, the wedding is not important, it is your life together that is the whole point, so certainly don't go into any debt about it!

-- Anonymous, June 10, 2001

Congrats and hugs on the hitchin....

I like many others married in the white dress, mid size reception thingie... but realized later that that dumb piece of paper made it an ownership thingie between us... plus now I realize that it is just another way for the gov't to know what we are doing...

fortnately for me... my partner is not interested in such things as weddings and thus I don't have to worry about this "ownership" deal.. he has always been single... and I have 4 kids left at home...plus I'm a bit scared about being "bounded 24/7"... at least now he is caring for his aging mother and not here all of the time... must say I like my independence... but then again... would like him around more...Typical woman... can't make up her mind...

-- Anonymous, June 10, 2001

Congratulations! I cannot believe we just celebrated our 19th anniversary. My how time flies! I love being married and hope you will too!

My first wedding was the big church extravaganza and honeymoon in Hawaii. I don't recommend it to anyone who isn't into a lot of organizing and stress.

Mr. S. and I had a tiny family wedding at the courthouse. His dad refused to set foot in a church (his dad also had Alzheimer's at the time, very early on and we didn't know it. He was being unusually weird, but then we only saw him infrequently, and thought whatever....) We had a family dinner in a restaurant the Friday night we were wed. The next day, a friend through a big garden party for us. That evening we and several of our closest friends retired to a big suite in a hotel in Seattle and had our own grand celebration (ahem...) Next morning, Mr. S. and I took out mom's out to Mother's Day brunch! We honeymooned six months later in Grand Tetons National Park, one of my favorite places on earth.

Guess we did something right. I would concur with two things mentioned: do what YOU want to do, and don't go into debt. Good advice!

-- Anonymous, June 11, 2001

Ya know, I have to confess that I have been daydreaming a bit along the same lines, now that Yuppie Boyfriend has been heard to utter the "C" word (commitment). I am 40 and never been married; he is 42 and was married once, briefly, but went to Vegas for that and I have so far been squeamish about hearing the details! (He rebounded after our last breakup. Men!). I am not sure either how we will proceed, but I am looking for alternatives so appreciate seeing all the responses posted here. Neither of us attends church so I think the church/minister is out of the question. Most of my family is in Florida and Texas, his is in California, most of our mutual friends are scattered across the globe so I don't know how we'd get everyone together in the same place at one time anyway. I don't think I want to have a big bash anyway- for me at least, it seems as if that sort of thing is more desirable for younger couples. Maybe I'm just too old and crotchety for all that! I think we might ask the minister of my father's church (Presbyterian) to do the honors in a small ceremony here at the farm. She (female minister- is she still called a minister?) is also a family friend, and the idea of that appeals to me. Afterwards a medium-sized bash, maybe with a band, definitely catered! also here at the farm. I just know that as the last of 5 siblings to marry there's no way I am going to get away without at least a reception- more for friends and friends of my parents than for my sake. But, I am just traditional enough that I do appreciate the idea of starting off a marriage surrounded by family and friends. I just want to do it without all the stress and hassle so that we can both enjoy it, too.

-- Anonymous, June 11, 2001

Female ministers can be called ministers. I think Presbys call them pastors, though. In my church, we call men and women who are ordained "pastor" as well. We also consider everyone in our church to be "ministers."

-- Anonymous, June 11, 2001