NETIQUETTE

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Rule 1: Remember the human

The golden rule your parents and your kindergarten teacher taught you was pretty simple: Do unto others as you'd have others do unto you. Imagine how you'd feel if you were in the other person's shoes. Stand up for yourself, but try not to hurt people's feelings.

In cyberspace, we state this in an even more basic manner: Remember the human.

When you communicate electronically, all you see is a computer screen. You don't have the opportunity to use facial expressions, gestures, and tone of voice to communicate your meaning; words -- lonely written words -- are all you've got. And that goes for your correspondent as well.

When you're holding a conversation online -- whether it's an email exchange or a response to a discussion group posting -- it's easy to misinterpret your correspondent's meaning. And it's frighteningly easy to forget that your correspondent is a person with feelings more or less like your own.

It's ironic, really. Computer networks bring people together who'd otherwise never meet. But the impersonality of the medium changes that meeting to something less -- well, less personal. Humans exchanging email often behave the way some people behind the wheel of a car do: They curse at other drivers, make obscene gestures, and generally behave like savages. Most of them would never act that way at work or at home. But the interposition of the machine seems to make it acceptable.

The message of Netiquette is that it's not acceptable. Yes, use your network connections to express yourself freely, explore strange new worlds, and boldly go where you've never gone before. But remember the Prime Directive of Netiquette: Those are real people out there.

Would you say it to the person's face?

Writer and Macintosh evangelist Guy Kawasaki tells a story about getting email from some fellow he's never met. Online, this fellow tells Guy that he's a bad writer with nothing interesting to say.

Unbelievably rude? Yes, but unfortunately, it happens all the time in cyberspace.

Maybe it's the awesome power of being able to send mail directly to a well-known writer like Guy. Maybe it's the fact that you can't see his face crumple in misery as he reads your cruel words. Whatever the reason, it's incredibly common.

Guy proposes a useful test for anything you're about to post or mail: Ask yourself, "Would I say this to the person's face?" If the answer is no, rewrite and reread. Repeat the process till you feel sure that you'd feel as comfortable saying these words to the live person as you do sending them through cyberspace.

Of course, it's possible that you'd feel great about saying something extremely rude to the person's face. In that case, Netiquette can't help you. Go get a copy of Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior.

Another reason not to be offensive online

When you communicate through cyberspace -- via email or on discussion groups -- your words are written. And chances are they're stored somewhere where you have no control over them. In other words, there's a good chance they can come back to haunt you.

Never forget the story of famous email user Oliver North. Ollie, you'll remember, was a great devotee of the White House email system, PROFS. He diligently deleted all incriminating notes he sent or received. What he didn't realize was that, somewhere else in the White House, computer room staff were equally diligently backing up the mainframe where his messages were stored. When he went on trial, all those handy backup tapes were readily available as evidence against him.

You don't have to be engaged in criminal activity to want to be careful. Any message you send could be saved or forwarded by its recipient. You have no control over where it goes.



-- Cherri (jessam5@home.com), May 31, 2001

Answers

Well, is Guy Kawasaki a bad writer or not?

-- David L (bumpkin@dnet.net), May 31, 2001.

It is the absolute height of hypocrisy for an arrogant, judgmental (not to mention just plain mental) bitch like Cherri to post something like this. Oh, yes, everyone, Cherri is reminding you to all play nice online, because you might hurt someone's feelings. Never mind that Cherri won't follow her own advice.

Oh, wait, I forgot. Nothing Cherri ever says or does could possibly upset anyone, because it is all the absolute truth, phrased, spelled and punctuated with the utmost of care, and handed down to us lesser mortals from on high. If someone is ever troubled by something Cherri posts, then it is prima facie evidence of evil deeds/a psychiatric malady/low intelligence/membership in the Republican Party, and therefore the hurt feelings do not count.

You go fuck yourself, Cherri. And yes, I'd say it to your face if I could be bothered to waste enough time to meet you in person.

-- No Fan of Cherri (bats@her.belfry.com), May 31, 2001.


Cherri's assuming Dubya doesn't browse here. Hope she's right.

-- Carlos (riffraff@cybertime.net), May 31, 2001.

Cherri is so FAT today, all she can do is sit at home and play at the computer. (She's so FAT she can't even wipe her butt and that's why she smells like crap all the time.) She is the original Internet troll drooling and spewing at the keyboard. She started when she was younger and in the military:



-- (This is@hairy.cherri before she got fat and stupid), May 31, 2001.


GAWD, what a mess!

-- One (butt@ugly.hog), May 31, 2001.


Cherri has a beautiful swan-like neck. =)

-- (cin@cin.cin), May 31, 2001.

What up Cherri? You’re new forum not taking off? I dropped in to see what kind of insects were attracted to the light and lookie who showed up:

Goofy Doc Paulie jacking himself off on his very own thread about the menace of the ‘evil gnomes of the Bohemian Forest’. Can there be a bigger fool anywhere?

Why yes there is. Its called Patricia and when she’s not giving the Doc oxygen, she’s wasting her own.

The lone voice of reason over there is Carlos, and I suspect he will get bored quickly.

-- Lay Down (on@the.couch), May 31, 2001.


“Cherri has a beautiful swan-like neck.” ROTFLMAO

That was then. Now, it resembles an overweight turkey.

-- Horrible (head@nice.neck), May 31, 2001.


I found a more recent photo of cherri.



-- (cherri @has a .fat butt), June 01, 2001.


Heres her buddy rich.



-- (cherri@has a .fat butt), June 01, 2001.



then we have anita.



-- (cherri@has a .fat butt), June 01, 2001.


wouldn't want to leave out cin.



-- (cherri@ has a.fat butt), June 01, 2001.


Cherri and Rich only WISH they looked this good!

-- Hog (and@dog.show), June 01, 2001.

and least of all marg.



-- (cherri @has a .fat butt), June 01, 2001.


Hi, my name is Anita.

Did I tell you about my Daughter’s ex-boyfriends gay lover? After he was released from prison for having sex with the neighbor’s cat, my other daughter decided to have his name tattooed on her left buttock. My black boyfriend was QUITE upset over this, as his stepbrother had become this guy’s NEW lover when they shared a cell for three years. As a result, I think both of my girls are leaning towards a full-time lesbian lifestyle, which is OKAY with me, I guess. Anyway, I just met some neat children from Idaho on the Internet and plan to visit them this weekend. They do seem a little strange but what HARM can come from me taking them 200 Lbs. of dog food and 20,000 rounds of high caliber ammo? I’ll post some pictures for you on Monday.

-- As (the@world.turns), June 01, 2001.



‘As’…..

That is the best bit I’ve read in a long time-ROTFLMAO. I think even Anita will get a chuckle out of it.

-- Telinet (like@it.is), June 01, 2001.


Cherri: Good article for folks to ponder. It seems to have a sortof "flypaper" effect.

Telinet: Yep...that did stir a chuckle. I also enjoyed the gothic picture.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), June 01, 2001.


Oh Marg now that is one we would like to disregard forever. An old leftover who has made it a point to put down almost all on this forum. She can dish it out but not take it. Drip drip drip.

-- to marg (cut@away.bitch), June 01, 2001.

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