Mag article - worryingly possible

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Sorry this has been scanned but it should be OK As I haven't lived in the Northeast for several years, I have to make do without the Alan Oliver exclusives on the St James' Park scene in the Evening Chronicle. Although I recently bought a computer, I have neither the inclination nor the time to visit the club's official website to see what's going on. As there is rarely anything about Newcastle on Ceefax, and as I don't buy a newspaper it means I have to rely on the Mag to keep me informed. I gather, then from the cover of the last issue, and from some of the articles, that we have got some money to spend. If this ii-ii-iouiicen-iL'nt liad been made, say twenty five years ago, when I was a naive youngster, I would have been extremely excited. A lot can happen in that time, however. Anybody who has supported the club throughout that length of time knows what happens when Season Tickets come up for renewal. I've become extremely cynical as one promise after another has come to nothing. But if we do assume that there is some money available; shouldn't we really be excited? Not me. I am sure I am doing Bobby a great disservice when I say that I am very worried at the thought Board several of the putting million pounds disposal. at his age Bobby, v o u see, is a pensioner, and whether we like it or not, pensioners sometimes do odd thing's with their money. My first image is of Bobby, on hearing the news, getting up at seven o'clock in the morning (usually a freezing Thursday in February) and joining the queue outside the Post Office an hour before it opens. In the queue he will tell all the other pensioners how it's a disgrace how much strikers cost, how £5 million doesn't buy you anything these days, what you could get for your money when he was a lad, and how his son never writes or phones. Once he's got his money, what then? Several years ago, when I was flat-sharing, a mate and I took possession of a small flat in which the previous tenant, a 72 year old woman had died. When we went in with the Agent for the first time, we opened a cupboard and found 17 tins of half price mellow Bird's custard. I pray to god that Bobby doesn't get a similar idea and rush out and buy huge quantities of cheap midfielders (we've already got loads.) Once the word gets out that there's a pensioner with a load of money to spend, what's the likely outcome? I have two nightmares. The first is that Bobby gets conned, like you hear about every day on the television. You know, two blokes knock at the door and say they're from the Water Board. One of them asks Bobby to turn a tap on, and while his attention is diverted, the other bloke nips in to his office, trousers the cash and they both scarper, leaving Bobby looking even more bemused than usual. The second one, and this is more likely, because god knows we've all seen this several times, is that we end up paying way over the odds for inferior goods. With most pensioners they get conned into paying thousands for less than a hundred quid's worth of building work. In the case of Newcastle United we get taken in by some smooth-talking agent who convinces us that Shinton, Rafrerty, Larnach, Hamilton, Marcelino etc etc, are actually professional footballers, and that they can play just like the real thing. Previous managers have been taken in, and I can see Bobby saying "but he sounded so convincing". Whatever the truth about how much money we have got to spend, my advice to Bobby is don't rush in and don't be tempted to spend the money all at once. But equally, don't wait for the January sales. We've spent the last three years rummaging around in the end of line bins, and it's about time we went to proper shops. Don't sign anything unless you've got somebody with you who can spot a fake among the genuine articles. If we don't have anyone at the club who fits this description, and the evidence would suggest we don't, then for a small fee, I'm available.

-- Anonymous, May 27, 2001

Answers

I think the board are waiting to see what the transfer rules are going to be when they are finalised. It must be said, Fast Freddy Shepherd does seem to know his way when it comes to finances and, for that reason will not allow Bobby to have an open ended cheque book a la Keegan. Bobby does seem to have his scouts about and he also has respect throughout Europe. I'm sure he'll do the right thing.

-- Anonymous, May 27, 2001

If this hadn't been lifted from The Mag, I could have sworn it was written by a Mackem. YBR may be of "pensionable age" but I still believe he has his faculties. Me old Ma, (bless her) can give him almost 20 years start and she's no novice when it comes to controlling the finances.

Indeed, it can be argued that with more experience, older folk make more reasoned decisions when making a major purchase. I cite L'Apostophe, Maric, Farcelino, Disco Des, Andrea Andersson (need I go on?) as examples of "youth" making abysmal decisions.

YBR may not be able to play as many rounds of golf as TSM, nor have the "charisma" of TDO, but believe me, I know which of the last three (full time) managers I'd rather have right now. The future is a different matter. Dalglish and Gullit loused up big time - even tho they were given carte blanche. YBR's hands have been tied. Let's hope that when they are loosened, he can use his experience well.

-- Anonymous, May 27, 2001


This ageist crap is deeply offensive and should not be on here. A person should be judged on ability and character, NOT on their gender, their age, their race, their sexuality, their nationality, or some other stereotypical box that so many intellectually challenged (ie stupid) seem to need to put people into. This piece is disgusting, utter garbage.

-- Anonymous, May 27, 2001

Can't say I agree with the article. I've got to say I'm with Screacher here, in that the piece reads very much like it's written by a Mackem.

-- Anonymous, May 27, 2001

Thats defo written by a Makkum.

-- Anonymous, May 27, 2001


Well said Jonno - what an offensive article! (:o|

-- Anonymous, May 28, 2001

Deeply patronising article - and The Mag should be bloody ashamed of themselves for printing such pathetic garbage. It wouldn't be so bad if it was even mildly amusing.
Doesn't deserve further comment.

-- Anonymous, May 28, 2001

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