A jolt of reality came today when DAvid was called to a neighbors house fire. Where we live all fire fighting is volunteer. In this case, the single mother, with 4 children, who live very remote (at least 15 minutes from my house and I live 30 from town) lost everything except the barn. Thankfully all of the children are okay. We all enjoy thinking about hypothetical situations and different realities, today I feel very grounded in what is important.

I'm sorry if this just sounds depressing, We are just finishing our house, having worked on it for 2 years. I would be devastated to lose it as my friend did. David and I have so many books, momentos, homesteading essentials and family treasures from here and Europe. The insurance could never replace what our life together has built. She didn't even have fire insurance. I'd like to think we are not materialistic, but I had to think today that we have possessions which we treasure deeply. , We will need to help our friend rebuild her life and homestead, and suddenly feel that we don't really know what to tell her or how to best help. Anyone have any advice?

Kim

-- Anonymous, May 26, 2001

Answers

Kim, right now I don't know what to say, except how very sorry I am to hear of your neighbor's loss. You are right; it's good that everyone got out. What a tragedy to lose one's home.

You and David seem to be exceptionally caring people. Perhaps just letting your neighbor know that you feel for her and the children, and that you are willing to help any way you can, will help her direct her efforts. It might be comforting to her to know that someone is helping "watch out." I think I would be pretty spooked for a long time after something like this.

And take care of yourselves, too. This must have been very frightening.

One thing that we did was purchase a fireproof safe. We store our guns in it and various items. (Our important paperwork is at the attorney's or safe deposit box, though.) I think I'll start shoving some other things in there like photos, etc. Just a thought.

-- Anonymous, May 26, 2001

That really sucks! Been there, done that, when my garage burned down and did alot of damage to the house---without insurance. Its bad enuf even with insurance because you lose so many things that really can't be replaced.

Ideas for helping them get back on their feet? How about fundraisers? Around here they put "collection" containers with a short story at the gas stations and other public places.

Are there enuf folks in the area to support a benefit dance, party, gathering?

How about an organized effort to scrounge building materials and replacement household items? Maybe if you publicized the effort in the local paper some good folks would come out of the woodwork and pitch in with resources etc. I'd suggest an informal planning comittee composed of concerned friends and map out a strategy involving aspects of all these suggestions.

Once adequate materials were scrounged maybe an ad hoc "habitat for humanity" project with the locals pitching in?

And I know what you mean about the materialism thing. The fact is, like it or not, we all have certain needs in common and alot of them are "materialistic".

Good luck Kim and Dave!

-- Anonymous, May 26, 2001

It's good to hear that everyone, including the firefighters, are ok. It sounds scary for sure. It takes allot of bravery to fight a fire. Maybe you could post the mom and kids clothing sizes here and around town. We have 2 places in town, Helping Hand and Hope, that will replace the clothes and household items needed, including furniture. Is there any place like that in your closest larger town? Maybe we could help you search on the web also for an organization near you guys. What's the closest big town?

I have stacks of jeans and clothes that I keep for people who need them. After you post the sizes, I can check and see if I have any that would fit. (Everyone knows to give me their unwanted clothes.) Tell us about her, did she garden, maybe we could send her some seeds. I would love to help any way I can from here.

Also, I've seen those big jars for contributions on the counters in stores, with the name of the family and a pic. I think if you went to each store, they might just give you something for them if you had sizes and a list of what needs replacing. It's kinda hard for them to say no. I would post it in the paper where to send donations too also. Please let us know how we can help.

-- Anonymous, May 27, 2001

How wonderful for this woman to have a friend like you Kim....keep us posted.

-- Anonymous, May 27, 2001

A little suggestion. Consider building "habitable rooms" complete with insulation and heat and a/c in various outbuildings. A sewing room in a garden shed, study or rec room on a barn, etc. Spread your treasures between them, then the only way you can lose it all is if everything is destroyed and you have habital space in which to enjoy it. We are planning a free standing rec room and a seperate office/study for myself and my books over the next two years.

-- Anonymous, May 27, 2001

I am so sorry to hear of the fire. my advice is to just be yourself - you are compassionate, caring and loving. Don't over think what you say - she will understand that 'it' comes from your heart!

As for what to do... If you are willing to throw chance to the wind, ask her what she needs most. She'd be the better judge of that, and you are free then to do what you can, instead of doing FOR....

-- Anonymous, May 27, 2001

Kim

Clothes and shoes are a big help.Then sheets,dishes and such.I always have some extras around that I pick up,and give to those who are burned out.

Ever since I had my house burn to the ground in '81, at least.I was new to the area,too,and on my own. The kindness of strangers was noteworthy to me.

Posessions are mere things.After you lost all,you understand that more. I never was really materialistic,and was even less so afterwards.I like some nice things,but I can live w/o them.No matter what,you have you memories.The only thing that really bothered me over the long haul were some mememtos that my grandparents had given me,bc they were no longer living.

Stick those and old photos in a fire safe box.Not a freezer.My freezer that was full of food ended up a twisted metalic mass with ashes on the bottom, that had been the frozen food.

Fire is pretty awesome.

-- Anonymous, May 29, 2001

Jay ,What a great idea, we have an old trailor on our property that I store feed etc. in, think I'll hook up water and electric to it just in case. I already use half of it for a work shop. Since we don't have insurance I like the idea of spreading the risk around. Daryll

-- Anonymous, May 29, 2001