Laid back He stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.

Out of tune She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time.

Hairy moment A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. He returned to the office a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.

Cheeky monkey He asked to see the interviewer’s resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate.

Hungry for a job She announced she hadn’t had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer’s office - wiping the ketchup on her sleeve.

Mark of a loyalty He stated that, if he were hired he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.

I am mental He interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.

Twinkle toes When I asked him about his hobbies he stood up and started tap dancing around my office.

Got the brush-off At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, he went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair...and left.

Indecent exposure He pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him.

Costly decision He said he wasn’t interested because the position paid too much.

Bare cheek While I was on a long-distance phone call the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse and looked through the photos stopping longest at the centrefold.

Close call During the interview an alarm clock went off from the candidate’s brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologised and said he had to leave for another interview.

Double talk A telephone call came in for the job applicant. It was from his wife. His side of the conversation went like this. “Which company? When do I start? What’s the salary?” I said: "I assume you’re not interested in conducting the interview any further.” He promptly responded: “I am as long as you’ll pay me more.” I didn’t hire him but later found out there was no other job offer. It was a scam to get a higher offer.

Brief encounter His attache case opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled out revealing ladies undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume.

Proof positive The candidate said he really didn’t want to get a job but the unemployment office needed proof that he was looking for one.

Flattery? He asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to the picture on my desk. When I said it was my wife, he asked if she was home now and wanted my phone number. I called security.

Bombed out Pointing to a black case he carried into my office, he said that if he was not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, I began to state why he would never be hired and that I was going to call the police. He then reached down to the case, flipped a switch and ran. No-one was injured but I did need to get a new desk.

-- Anonymous, May 24, 2001

Answers

Laid back He stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application. - Marcellino

Out of tune he wore a Walkman and said he could listen to me and the music at the same time. - Kieron Dyer

Hairy moment A balding candidate abruptly excused himself. He returned to the office a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece. - Alan Shearer being cheeky

Cheeky monkey He asked to see the interviewerÂ’s resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to judge the candidate. - Rob Lee when Gullit came in. Now we know!

Mark of a loyalty He stated that, if he were hired he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm. - Duncan Ferguson at first Everton interview

I am mental He interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions. - Domi

Got the brush-off At the end of the interview, while I stood there dumbstruck, he went through my purse, took out a brush, brushed his hair...and left. - Warren Barton

Indecent exposure He pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of me. Said he collected photos of everyone who interviewed him. - Daniel Cordone

Bare cheek While I was on a long-distance phone call the applicant took out a copy of Penthouse and looked through the photos stopping longest at the centrefold. - Kieron Dyer(after the cd in the walkman finished)

Close call During the interview an alarm clock went off from the candidateÂ’s brief case. He took it out, shut it off, apologised and said he had to leave for another interview. - Matt Jansen

Brief encounter His attache case opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled out revealing ladies undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume. - Lionel Perez (allegedly)

-- Anonymous, May 24, 2001

For sheer cheek, I recall interviewing a young Engineer who sat down in my office, took out a notepad and pen and said "Well do you want to start, or should I?"

-- Anonymous, May 24, 2001

How about this for a resignation letter.

Is this the real life is this just fantasy? Taught ‘til I’m glassy eyed no escape from those Agencies

Open your eyes look up in my file and see I’m just a trainer… inducting constantly Because staff easy come easy go Skill set’s high, pay’s too low Anyway you manage doesn’t really matter to me… … to me

Haha ! I just resigned Put this letter in to say Finish on the 7th of May

Haha ! Life has just begun ‘Cos now I‘m going to tour the USA Haha ! oooooh I can’t wait to fly I won’t be back again 4 weeks tomorrow Carry on carry on as I never really mattered

Too late my time has come Sent hundreds down the line Groundhog daying all the time So long everybody I’ve got to go Gotta leave you all behind and trace a route Haha ! oooooh It’s hard to say goodbye I’ll sometimes wish that I’d never gone at all

I see a little silver pop-up campervan Shower n’ douche, shower n’ douche, port-a-loo and a Micro Sewage bolts need tightening Very very frightening me Woringo Woringo Woringo Woringo Woringo Itisso Magnifico

Induction trainer, I seek redundancy (He’s just a trainer, insignificantly) Spare me my life from this monotony Easy come easy go Will you let me go… with V.R.? No we will not let you go Let him go… with V.R. We will not let you go… let him go With V.R … we will not let you go Let me go… will not let you go Let me go… will not let you go Let me go oh oh oh oh… No No No No No No No Ta ra, see ya… Ta ra, see ya… Ta ra, see ya… here I go The Pension Club has a packet put aside for me… for me… … for me

So you think that you’re Big now and that’s the true way? So you think you can make me believe what you say? Oh B.B. can’t do this to me B.B. Just gotta get out just gotta get right outta here

No-one really matters Anyone can see No-one really matters No-one really matters to B. Anyway your Shares grows……

-- Anonymous, May 25, 2001

http://www.underemployed.com/fun_resignation.shtml

-- Anonymous, May 25, 2001