Heath and Xeney: Hot Nights With Half A Pecker

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He was drawn to her luxorious hair. She was mystified by his beady brown eyes.

What else happened?

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001


nothing...hewoulnt want 2 be wit any of u cuz your all to OLD!!!

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001

I'm hyperventilating over here. Someone else finish the story!

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001

"Don't look at me. Ok, now look at me.", he grinned as he finished buckling the large pink strap-on. Still hyperventilating and looking a little frightened she bent her body in anticipation.

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001

His big floppy Heath lips poised moistly over hers. His hips thrust her back agains the wall. She could feel the outline of his long, hard half-manhood pressed against her pelvis.

Another whisper-soft move, another thrust, and she would shatter. Or have a heart attack. At her age, and all.

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001

She trembled. She wished she hadn't lived life in the fast food lane. So much fried food, so little tofu. Damn the palpitations. Irregular heartbeat or not, she had to have him, all half of him in her mouth, now.

She reached for his package. Before the internet, she had devoted her spare time to memorizing the weight tables of the united states postal service. It was involuntary, subconcious but, immediately she calculated the charges and knew she could ship his penis halfway around the world for just under two bucks.

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001

Being the brainy kind of tramp she was, Xeney grabbed his FedEx-able willy and panted in his ear, "Mmm, baby - before we ship this incredibly reasonably priced package, we're gonna have to get some glue, for sealing. Let me get that glue. . . right now. . . " and with that, quicker than a beagle on crack, she bent down to make sweet love to his pint sized glue stick.

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001

Heath clutched at her head, panting, as her sweet pink lips moved over his chocolatey, small-package ground delivery. "Darling," she whispered, "You really know how to manage my supply chain."

"But wait," Xeney whispered. "You must agree to the following terms and conditions as well as the Privacy Policy, before I transport you, my love. Agreement with these terms is a condition of use of my lips, which I am providing on an "as is" basis, making no representations or warranties of any kind, whether express or implied, with respect to my lips and also, my mouth..."

"Yes!" Heath screamed. "Oh, god, yes! Fuck my brain!"

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001

Before she could fuck his brain, she needed to clear the dogs off of the bed. She heaved each dog, so that she could ho. One of the dogs was less than happy about this arrangement, and even after he had been sent out of the room, he rhythmically banged his nose against the door, desperately trying to open it again.


"Don't worry, he does that a lot," she sighed, "now where were we?"

Heath smiled and pointed to his miniature didgeridoo.

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001

Heath couldn't concentrate. That fucking dog was driving him insane. "Dammit!", he cried. He placed his hands on Xeney the ho's shoulders and pushed her away.

He yanked his half penis from her mouth. With a loud "POP!" the vacuum between Xeney's muscled jaws filled with air. She looked up at him, a long thin line, comprised of salavia and precum goo, hung from her chin and she demanded to know...

-- Anonymous, May 18, 2001

just what in the fuck he had been eating becuz the inside of her mouth was fuzzy and tasted like week old sushi.

"Ah ha!", exclaimed the beady fudge eyed boy. "My plan to murder you with poisonous precum goo is working. The game is afoot at last! It won't be long until I have my revenge and my hands on your money."

As he spoke the harsh words, his half penis stood tall and pointed at her like a rigid vienna sausage.

-- Anonymous, May 18, 2001

Heath was mad as hell. Mad as hell because nobody wanted to keep his story alive save that perverted fucker rudeboy. He hated rudeboy. Still, no matter how har he fought it, as thoughts of that sicko bastard swam in his head, he couldn't stop his sagging, precum dripping weiner from perking up again. Never could.

Xeney, naked and seemingly undaunted by the news of her lover's ill- fated plan for her demise, laid back on the white satin, poisonous precum soaked sheets and spread her legs open in an awkward yet sexy manner that left her looking very much like a formaldehyde saturated highschool biology class frog splayed open by toothpicks on a waxy paraffin bed awaiting disection.

The news of Heath's dastard plan hadn't been a surprise. A long time, highly trained agent of the Secret Society for the Elimination of World Globalization and Bad Australian Actors, Xeney instinctively knew something wasn't right when the beady, Hershey Kiss eyed boy had so willingly dropped his trousers without the cover of darkness to show his half penis. She knew only cruel intentions could drive a man so far as to forego the embarassment and display such a sub par digit in broad daylight.

Silenty, she thanked her parents for making her watch all of the Maxwell Smart spy shows and Spiderman cartoons. Her Xeney-sense had anticipated some type of evil plot and as a precaution, she had swallowed a secret spy pill that negated he effects of poisonous precum goo just hours before her encounter with Heath.

-- Anonymous, May 21, 2001

I am saving this thread forever, for the next time someone accuses me of censorship.

-- Anonymous, May 21, 2001

He glared at her. He could hardly believe his eyes. He blinked. Could it be? Yes. Yes it was true. But how?

He walked toward her while holding the girth of his half penis outstretched in the crooked pinky of his right hand. His eyes remained glued to her crotch. What manner of mystery lie before him? No. No! It could not be true.

For most of his prepubescent life, Heath had searched for the woman. The woman that had taken the virginity he had willingly given. The seductress who had delivered him into a world of pleasure he'd never known and had not since experienced with any other. The enchantress with vaginal muscles so taut they could bend a quarter. The woman, who, in a raging orgasmic fit, had clamped down on and cut off circulation to his once average sized member causing irreversible tissue damage. The woman who, had taken half his penis.

But this, this was not her. Though brunette locks caress the top of her well formed skull, a true brunette she was not as was now plainly evident.

-- Anonymous, May 21, 2001

"With a loud "POP!" the vacuum between Xeney's muscled jaws filled with air. She looked up at him, a long thin line, comprised of salavia and precum goo, hung from her chin and she demanded to know... ...just what in the fuck he had been eating becuz the inside of her mouth was fuzzy and tasted like week old sushi."

Mommy!! Make the bad pictures in my head go awwaaaaaaaay!

-- Anonymous, May 21, 2001

Overwhelmed with disappointment Heath fell into a heap. He curled fetally on the floor at the foor of the bed and began to suck his thumb. Waves of liberal hand holding and babying washed over Xeney. Her brain said no, but her heart said go to him.

She slid from the bed, walked over to where the blubbering Aussie lay and scooped him up in her arms like a caring mother would a child in pain.

Gently she placed his gangly naked frame on the bed and wiped the tears from his face. "Hush now you. There's no reason to cry."

"But, but, I just tried to kill you with poisonous precum goo.", he whined. "Yes. Yes you did. But that's all over now.", she replied in a soothing motherly voice as she cupped his hand in hers and led him to her promised land.

-- Anonymous, May 21, 2001

Heath was amazed. The woman he had falsely accused, judged and silently sentenced to death by poisonous precum goo was forgiving him. And, she was going to let him play with her pussy. He couldn't believe his luck.

-- Anonymous, May 21, 2001

His fingers trailed down the soft skin of her middle. They strayed their way down her milky thighs. Over the hill and through the woods, to Xeney's pink palace of pleasure he would go. Soon, by letting his fingers do the walking, he arrived at the palace gate and he desperately wanted in. Now, if only he could find that damned button.

She moaned softly after a few minutes and knowing that she'd have more luck tossing plastic rings onto his half penis, she opened wide the gate without him ever coming close to the button.

Heath slid his index finger into her. So warm and wet and pink. Heath was flooded with emotion. he wondered how had he made such a blatant mistake. What link had he had between this woman and the woman that had so ruthlessly squeezed his penis? Surely this was not her, afterall, pubic hair doesn't does'nt lie. But there was something her. Somethin familiar. Something...

-- Anonymous, May 21, 2001

I disgust myself in even asking this, but sick curiosity demands it: Heath's, um, you know, his maimed member -- is it lengthwise that it's maimed, or...? Now you've all got me wondering,

-- Anonymous, May 21, 2001

While Heath puzzled and pondered, Xeney took his other hand in her own and slid it too next to her wide open flesh gate. Gently she took the index finger of this hand an placed it inside of her beside Heath's other.

Wrapped tightly in an intense world of sexual lust and desire, Heath began wiggling his fingers against the bundled nerve endings in Xeney's labia. He felt something hard. "What's this?", he wondered. Try as he may he could not grasp it between his two index fingers -- it was too slippery. That Xeney was a wet one. She gushed cooter fluid like the "Old Faithful" of vaginal lubrication.

-- Anonymous, May 22, 2001

In one deft, perfect move Xeney swung one of her milky white thighs over Heath's pelvis, repositioned the weight of her torso then flipped the hapless boy and sat atop him like the winner of a chocolate pudding wrestling contest. "You-ah like-ah the-ah ectasy?", she purred in an forced Itallian accent.

Heath lay stunned, his fingers still in her. "Mmmmmmmm. Yes, oh yes. Me like ecstasy.", he murmured. Ecstasy. The word hung in his mind like a nail through the brain.

The sudden position switch had caused the small hard object to fall between his index fingers. He felt the smoothness, the rounded edge, the ninety degree bend down the center. Suddenly he remembered the significance of the word ecstasy. "Oh my god no!", he cried.

Immediately he recognized the small hard bent round object as a quarter. It wasn't the "ecstasy" that he remembered, but rather "XTC". The acronymous nickname given to the most ruthless spy agent in both the free and not so free worlds. It was her. The woman who seduced and then maimed her male victims. He tried to escape, but it was too late. Her full body weight rested on his chest. He was helpless. It was over. He was at the mercy of Xeney The Crusher.

-- Anonymous, May 23, 2001

She held his fingers tight between her superhuman vaginal walls. A move a wise old Asian lesbian woman had once taught her. It was a variation of Chinese finger cuffs and once sprung, it was a trap that could not be escaped.

She leaned down over him and whispered in a soft husky voice. "Next- ah time-ah you-ah want-ah to-ah poison-ah somebody-ah with-ah the-ah precum goo-ah, find-ah out-ah who you're-ah messin'-ah with-ah. Bastard-ah."

And with a quick flinch of her over devloped Kegel muscle she snapped both of his index fingers and walked out the door. Heath, though in excrutiating pain, lay motionless and silent. Salty tears slid down his face.

-- Anonymous, May 23, 2001

Well, it's over. I'm kinda sad. Maybe one day someone will start a whole short story secret spy series based on Xeney The Crusher's life as the woman whose vagina struck fear in the heart's of men.

-- Anonymous, May 23, 2001

In the wake of the Kaycee debacle and in the interest of full disclosure, I must say for the record that my vaginal walls are not actually "superhuman."

Thank you for your time.

-- Anonymous, May 23, 2001

that's too bad.

-- Anonymous, May 23, 2001

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