Well, this made me laugh. I was on a bus from Bridgehill to Consett this morning, a bus that was packed with school bairns. I was eavesdropping a bit at their banter and it became apparent that this little lad was at the heart of any scrapes this particular gang got into. Anyway, he's recounting events at a youth disco on Saturday night and announces that he tried to pull someone called Nadine. His chat up line? "I'll give you a fiver if you'll show me your tits". This is one of the funniest things I've heard in ages.

-- Anonymous, May 14, 2001

Answers

Damn inflation hampering the education of our youth!

-- Anonymous, May 14, 2001

LOL. Actually, I was going to ask what the best/worst chat-up line everyone has heard or used was...

-- Anonymous, May 14, 2001

The "show me yours & I'll show you mine" was obviously a poor trade off.

-- Anonymous, May 14, 2001

Yer divven sweat much for a fat lass.

-- Anonymous, May 14, 2001

Worst thing I ever did was take my best mates girl friend (He was at college, she was a fellow student, I'd left college, was working and she was a (flimsy) material girl).

I told her she had the best child bearing hips I'd ever seen and she thought I was the most perceptive person she'd ever met. She was actual pencil thin but wanted to be seen as a curvaceous doll rather than a Barbie. We went out for a month or so until one day she said "don't ever put football before me again". Her loss :0)

-- Anonymous, May 14, 2001

I didn't fancy you when I first came in , but I've had a few beers since then !

-- Anonymous, May 14, 2001

Not a chat up line, but I recall one of the first nights I went to the Oxford Galleries in the 60's. I'd hadn't been working very long and the lad I went with was a little older and seemed dead experienced - he was of the "go ugly, early" persuasion.

Anyway, as usual it took me ages to pluck up the courage to go on to the floor with him to ask these two birds for a dance. To my surprise they actually said yes, but at the end of the first number mine's mate whispered something to my partner and just wandered off. 'Mine' then turned to me and said "got to go - me mate wants a slash!"

-- Anonymous, May 14, 2001

It reminds me of the time I told a lass she had an arse like a basketball, and did she mind if I dribbled on it!

My face is still smarting from the slap!!!

Mind you she still insisted that I shag her!

-- Anonymous, May 14, 2001

Said while dancing:

Me: "Do you believe in the here after"
Her: "What do you mean"
Me: "Well if your here after what I'm here after, why are we still standing here"

Tried a couple of times in the early 70's, like Clarky, once at the Oxford Galleries and again at the Mayfair....one sh@g in a darkened booth - one knee in the crutch....

-- Anonymous, May 14, 2001

Hold my pint while I go for a s**t - worked for me

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001

Said to a big girl:

"Please fart and give me a clue"

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001