UNIQUE BREAKFAST

A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read "Unique Breakfast", so he walked in and sat down.

The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted.

"What's your 'Unique Breakfast'?" he asked inquisitively.

"Baked tongue of chicken," she replied proudly.

"Baked tongue of chicken? Do you have ANY idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth!" the man fumed.

Undaunted, the waitress asked, "Well, what would you like then, sir?"

The man replied, "Just bring me some scrambled eggs."

******

After church, Johnny tells his parents he has to go and talk to the minister right away. They agree and the pastor greets the family.

"Pastor," Johnny says, "I heard you say today that our bodies came from the dust."

"That's right, Johnny, I did."

"And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to dust."

"Yes, I'm glad you were listening. Why do you ask?"

"Well you better come over to our house right away and look under my bed 'cause there's someone either comin' or goin'!"

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2001

Answers

As I sit here, some of my mother's ashes are under my desk. But she's going (er...gone), so you don't have to worry about her asking you to be a sponsor.

I've eaten duck's feet.

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2001

If you lived in England for a year, you probably ate some unspeakable things--ox tail, all kinds of kidneys, cow stomach, etc.

Some Vietnamese friends once proudly gave us shark's fin soup, a great delicacy. We can eat all kinds of food--but this was bloody awful, I mean, terrifyingingly awful. Snail snot.

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2001

P.S. We have Sooty and Nelson in tins in the closet.

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2001

And do you have Prince Albert in a can, OG?

Well . . .

LET HIM OUT!

(You knew that was coming)

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2001

You know, I didn't, Meemur! That's an American thing and not part of my childhood, so it doesn't automatically pop up at times like this! We have something similar. Go into the fish and chip shop: "You got any chips left?" "Yes." "Well, that's your fault for cooking too many, ha ha. G'night!"

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2001

Ah, gee! I got away with an old joke. It was old even when I was little. We kids phoned the drug store one time to ask if they had Prince Albert in a can. The clerk who answered yelled, "No!" and hung up on us.

Guess she'd had that call from kids a few too many times.

Did you ever go ring someone's doorbell and run away when you were young? I did that at least once or twice. (:

-- Anonymous, May 14, 2001

Yes, but we used to tie the dustbin lids to the doorknobs first. (English cities, Victorian housing, back-to-backs, dustbins nearby.)

Did you know that if you split open a rose hip, take out the seeds and put 'em down someone's back, they itch like hell?

-- Anonymous, May 14, 2001

I didn't know that about the rosebuds. We used to stuff stiff pine cones in each other's sleeping bags at camp. Sometimes they had ants in them. Itchy!

When I was very small, I once squirted some lemon juice into the glass that held my grandmother's dentures (she kept both on her dresser). When she put her teeth in, she experienced quite a surprise!

Fortunately, by the time I was 12 or so, I had outgrown these pranks! I still think about that one and chuckle sometimes. I suspect someday Karma will see that my granny is avenged.

-- Anonymous, May 14, 2001

I meant rose hips. Maybe I should try it. Ha!

-- Anonymous, May 14, 2001