Okay, I need help from one of you women who hasn't tossed the information sheet from your birth control pills. I'm specifically concerned about Ortho-Cyclen, but I think this is one of those situations that's more or less the same for most pills.

Here's what I did. Stop laughing.

It's been really hot here, okay? So we're keeping the lights off, especially in the kitchen. So I've been taking my birth control pill in the dark every night. No big deal, because you just take the next one on the little wheel.

Except I also inserted the wheel in the dark, apparently, because I realized last night that I've been taking the placebos since I started the new pack on Sunday.

I said stop laughing.

So now I can't remember what I'm supposed to do. Obviously we have to use a back-up method for the rest of the month, but do I just start where I left off, or skip the whole month? It's too late to do the doubling-up thing, I know. Right?

And to make this not all about me (I said stop laughing, goddamnit), have you ever really fucked up your chosen method of birth control? Had a condom break, a diaphragm dislodge, or forget to take your pills for a week at a time? Share with the group. And you in the back, stop laughing.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Answers

I don't have my info. slip but yes, five days' lapse is too much time to make up by doubling up. If you'd slipped into placebos mid-month, you'd have your period by now (or at least that's what happened to me), but since, from what I understand, you finished the potent ones from teh last pack, had your period, and didn't start with hormones again, your body probably thinks you went off the pill again. I *think* what you're supposed do is just wait out the month with your Other Method o' Choice and start chugging 'em again after your next period, four weeks from last Sunday.

To answer the last question, yes. I went off the pill at the end of a school year and planned not to get a diaphragm (because I was going to be Single, Sexually Liberated Woman) until the following September, but then, thank Christ, an opportunity for sex came up during the summer. I have never considered condoms anything more than prophylactics and therefore bought a pack of sponges for contraceptives. The result: ow. Fucking ow ow ow ow. No more fucking because ow ow ow ow ow. We were both bloody. I thought I knew my body well enough to insert the damn thing correctly, but either I didn't or he had a monster-penis (N.B. he did not) or we were too acrobatic or the damn thing slipped or I don't know what the hell went wrong, but shit, that's the most painful sex I was ever determined to have in my whole life. *And* it was how I learned that physical contraceptives that require gel make oral sex really unpleasant. Damn.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

(wooo, I gotta wipe the tears out of my eyes)

(really, I've stopped laughing)

Well, I can't tell you what *to* do, but I can offer some ideas on what *not* to do . . .

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Okay, hee, that would be really funny if it um, wasn't funny at all. I think that actually, instead of going off the pill for a month and then back on it (and possibly having to wait an indeterminate period of time to get your next period if you are like me when going off the pill), you could start the next pack this Sunday, and just use a backup method this month during that pack. I've done things like move my schedule a week in one direction or another by either stopping a pack a week early, getting my period for a week, then starting the new one (as if the pills were on a three week total cycle instead of four), or just continuing to another pack without doing the placebo week, and not had anything bad happen. (I also checked with my aunt who is an obgyn, who said occasionally doing this is not a problem.) So instead of going off completely, I would be inclined to start the next one this weekend.

Now, I on the other hand am dealing with having just gone on Ortho Tri- Cyclen and not having my period stop. At all. For two weeks and counting now. I expected a long one because my last cycle was about 7 weeks long (I occasionally go very long, and then have a rebound shorter one), but this is ridiculous, and even though this pill seems to be helping my skin and I know I should give it a couple of packs to see what is up, I'm not looking forward to bleeding for two months straight.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I agree with the others: stop taking the pills for the rest of the month, and then start over.

I screw up every birth control method, except for condoms, and I'm pretty sure this is because I'm not the one who puts the condom on. I could never remember which side the spermicide was supposed to go on for my diaphragm, so I would slather the stuff on both sides and then pray it didn't shoot out of me, boomerang style.

I'm really looking forward to the new birth control patch for women. It may be the one method I don't mess up.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Joy's right--the pill works by interacting with your body's hormone regulatory mechanisms so there's no reason why you can't start back up taking it right away, but you should definitely use some sort of backup method for this month.

I guess I've never had any extraordinary contraceptive failures, but I've had the typical ones--a couple of broken condoms over the years and, of course, the multiple times I've had to get down on my hands and knees looking for those tiny little pills behind furniture (and then having to dust them off before taking them) after they popped out of the foil a little too hard.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

*I* haven't, but our fourth daughter is the result of a botched vasectomy...does that count?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Jen, one time when I dropped a pill the dog ate it before I could get to it.

I just took another one and ended that month short. I completely forgot about that.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Did someone mention a patch? Could someone point me to that?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

The article on the patch is here.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Jeremy gently suggested the patch to me last night. I said I was afraid it would look ugly. Anyone have any opinions on that?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Personally, I think it would be harder to remember to change a patch weekly than it is to take a pill every day. Also, yeah, I'd feel kind of goofy wearing a patch on my butt all the time!

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

I can just see me and my patch on my belly.

I'd have to have it on my belly, 'cause I'd forget if it were on my ass.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Did you read the part of the article about 20% of women having skin irritation at the site of the patch? Teenage girls might start walking around scratching their butts or stomachs all day to seem more mature...

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

High School Boy #1: Dude, do you think I can get to third base with her?

High School Boy #2: Dude, she's a sure thing! I saw her scratching her ass!

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

One girlfriend thought she had lost her diaphragm, so we switched to condoms & foam for a while. After a while, I noticed... something. Turns out she had forgotten to take her diaphragm out and didn't notice it... for about a month.

Now there's a woman who's comfortable with her chosen style of contraception!

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Beth, one thing I learned from working in doctors' offices is that people do incredibly silly things with their prescriptions all the time, particularly the Pill. Call your doctor's office. They've probably encountered this a million times, and some nurse will be more than happy to tell you the Medically Best Thing to do. Don't feel embarrassed about asking. I worked in a doctor's office with a woman who thought you were supposed to take the Pill like a morning-after pill ... and duh, got pregnant. See, you're nowhere near that goofy.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Joy--me too! i've had this happen a couple of times despite not missing any [Ortho Tri-Cyclen] pills. The doctor said "be sure to take them at the same time every day", so i did, but my last period lasted 2 weeks, and in fact interfered with my wedding night. i believe the problem is with the amount of progesterone, because i saw an article that said people with Norplant(TM) and Depo-Provera had the same problem and that was what caused it. But what to do about it? i liked the sponge (me and Elaine on Seinfeld) but i think it's still off the market...

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

re: Patch. Remember when the nicotine patch came out? Followed quickly by the testosterone patch? I went to a pool party with an investment banker friend of mine, and when he took his shirt off his back was so covered with rings that he looked like a table in a frat house.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

If you wait until after your period to start back on the pill, you'll have TWO months of having to use an alternate method (this month and next month while the pill gets into your system)! If I didn't call the doctor's office to get their advise, I'd probably just start back on the active pills immediately and feel safe after my next period.

-- Anonymous, May 12, 2001

Beth, if you are still looking for the insert information, here's what mine says (it's Desogen, but I don't think that matters):

If you MISS 3 OR MORE "active" pills in a row (during the first 3 weeks): 1. If you are a Day 1 Starter: THROW OUT the rest of the pill pack and start a new pack that same day. If you are a Sunday Starter: Keep taking 1 pill every day until Sunday. On Sunday, THROW OUT the rest of the pack and start a new pack of pills that same day. 2. You may not have your period this month but this is expected. However, if you miss your period 2 months in a row, call your doctor or health care provider because you might be pregnant. 3. You MAY BECOME PREGNANT if you have sex in the 7 DAYS after you miss pills. You must use another birth control method as a back-up for those 7 days.

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2001

Cool. Thanks for the info, everybody. Since I haddn't actually taken any of the active pills, I'm just going to start over tonight (Sunday) and use back-up for this month.

Damn, I hate back-up.

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2001

Back-up shmack-up.

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2001

Amy - Yeah, it's the amount and kind of progesterone that can cause different women to have break-through or constant bleeding on different pills or other kinds of hormonal birth control. The only pill I've ever been on where I didn't have this problem was Demulen, but for various reasons (mostly it wasn't one of the ones subsidized by my graduate student health insurance) I've mainly been on different ones for the past 5 years. I've had problems with Ortho-Novum, Desogen, and Nordette, and now Ortho-Tri-Cyclen. I seem to have gained some weight with this one too. So I think I will stick it out for one more month, see if the bleeding stops, and see if my skin really is better. But as much as I'm sick of still having acne while starting to develop wrinkles (hello, shouldn't a fair world make you suffer from only one kind of facial problem at a time??), I'm not willing to put up with having a permanent period either. Anyway, if next month things are still bad, I will have about 7 packs of pills left for the asking if anyone wants them. I'll let you know.

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2001

Oh, and Amy I would suggest talking to your doctor about switching pills. When I had horrible problems with Desogen, my doctor switched me to Nordette right away, which wasn't perfect but was tolerable. Many times it just takes a few tries to find the right kind that minimizes whatever side-effects you have. Because I'm not using the pill for contraception right now (alas), I'm more willing to wait and see if things get better, but I'd be annoyed if it was interfering with my sex life.

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2001

I can top your story- I almost always take my pill in the dark, right before bed, and one time I actually put the disc in the dispenser upside down. I was taking the active pills at the end of the cycle first. It was fine- after I explained the issue to several confused nurses at my doctors office, they assured me it was fine, as long as I was taking the active pills. The most embarrasing part was explaining what I had done- the looks on their faces!

-- Anonymous, May 14, 2001

I don't know if this is a concern for you, but it may be. I buy my pills at the last possible moment (like the Saturday before the Sunday I have to start a new pack) because I am a lazy fool. So one time I went in and just asked if I could buy a bunch at once instead of having to come back, and they said no, because my insurance company wouldn't allow it. So, if I have to do that throw the pack out, start over thing, I would be in trouble, because of the timeline where I bought my pills.

Just an FYI. Good luck on future pill popping.

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001

Well not that much trouble Claire..Just financially. you could pay the full cash price for it. but here is an idea. instead of waiting tillu need them...usually u can fill a prescription on an insurance plan 7 days early. so on a pack of 28 fill on the 21 day...and do this every month, eventually you'll be able to get ahead

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001

Well, I wound up starting the pack over on Sunday (since I hadn't actually taken any of the active pills), and we're just using back-up this month. But you'll love the next thing I did -- last night I dropped my pill into my glass of water, and when I tried to fish it out I dropped it into the dirty sink, and I rinsed it off and took it anyway.

Birth control pills are a pain in the ass. Where do I find that patch again?

-- Anonymous, May 17, 2001