Theres this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse so he goes to a stud farm.

The owner asks if he wants male or female.

"A female horth" the midget replies. So the owner shows him one.

"Nith looking horth, can I thee her mouf?" So the owner picked him up so he could see the horses mouth.

"Nith mouf, can I Thee her eyeth?" So the owner picked up the midget and showed him the horses eyes.

"OK, what about the eerth?" At this point the owner is getting a tad pissed off with the midget, but he picks him up and shows him the ears.

"OK, finally can I thee her twat?" With that the owner picks up the midget and shoves his head up the horses vagina, then pulls him back out. Shaking his head the midget says, "Perhaps I thould rephrathe that. Can I thee her wun awound?"

-- Anonymous, May 10, 2001

Answers

Q: How do you make a cat bark like a dog? A: Drench it in gasoline and throw a lit match on it: "Wooof!"

Q: How do you make a dog meow like a cat? A: Freeze it solid then cut it in half with a chainsaw: "Meeeeooowwww!"

Q: How many cops does it take to push a man down a flight of stairs? A: None. He tripped.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001

Two gay men are walking through a zoo. They come across the gorillas, and after a while they notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection. The gay men are fascinated by this. One of the men just can't bear it any longer and he reaches into the cage to touch it. Suddenly, the gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for six hours nonstop! When he's done, the gorilla throws the man back out of the cage. An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital. A few days later his friend visits him and asks: "Are you hurt?" "Am I hurt?" he answers. "Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called, he hasn't written..."

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2001