nepotism

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Talk about nepotism in the workplace. Any horror stories? Can it ever work?

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2001

Answers

only experienced nepo once...and it worked great. Both were very professional and hard workers.

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2001

I've seen it work very well, and I've seen it work horribly - to the point where the company had to have massive lay offs because people weren't really qualified to manage what they were managing and the company lost business and loads of money.

I think in many situations getting a job it is more WHO you know than WHAT you know.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 2001


In the private sector, it's called nepotism/family values. In the public sector, it's called affirmative action/equal representation/fairness, etc. Either way, it affects employees.

Very few businesses survive into the third generation. As businesses grow, the function of management changes. The first generation is entrepreneurial. The second generation is administrative. The third generation is executive and strategic. Success stories are the Rockefellers and Fords. David Rockefeller (3rd generation) holds a Phd in economics. He is fully capable of running large banks and multinational corporations. He could never assemble a Standard Oil refining and distribution system. Edsel Ford (3rd generation) was instrumental in the production of the Ford Thunderbird and Ford Mustang. He could never establish an assembly line, pay workers $5.00/day, or produce all black cars. Different generations require different skill sets and visions.

Can it work? Yes. Is this rare? Yes.

The computer/information age may be different. Employee value is cognitive, and it resides in the individual employee. It will be very difficult to hold information age corporations in family hands. Things are now too flexible. Static vision dooms information age corporations. Strategic partnerships and rapid change is the norm. Little rich boy grandson is clueless.

Nepotism is slowly going away. In the public sector, affirmative action is under severe legal challenge. In the private sector, most family descendents are mere stockholders.

This is a very broad based and generalized response. I don't really know about your specifics, Gwen. :-)

-- Anonymous, May 10, 2001


I don't know where you live Joseph, but nepotism is alive and well where I live, and I'm talking about large publicly-owned multi-national companies where it is very hard to get a job there unless you are related to someone. There are also a number of family-run companies and institutions of higher learning where many people working there have the same last names.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 2001

I'm mostly against nepotism, but I would quickly change my mind if I had the chance to have it work for me.

Like sleeping to the top -- why does no one ever want to exchange book deals and the like for sex? I'd be okay with that. Sex takes what, an hour or two at most, right? That's a pretty good hourly wage.

I'm kidding. Mostly.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 2001



Here is a problem regarding nepotism that a friend of mine is having. Her name is Veronica. She has asked me to post this here and get y'all's advice:

************************* My direct supervisor is the Executive Director's daughter. She gets paid to go to luncheons, have pedicures, check her e-mail, and that's about it as far as I can see.

I don't mind that. I admit that if one of my sons were talentless and skill-less and had no education or people skills, and if I were the Executive Director of something, I would give my son a job.

It's not the fact that this woman gets paid for doing nothing that bothers me. It's the fact that she's also trying to make me look bad. She sees me working and forging ahead (and being liked by my coworkers), and instead of curing her jealousy by improving herself in any way, she resorts to hindering my work as much as possible and trying to make me seem incompetent to everyone above her in the food chain.

Our organization's by-laws prevent this woman from being directly supervised by her mother. So guess who her direct supervisor is. It's her brother-in-law. (I might as well just tell the whole freaking story here, while I'm at it.) Her b-i-l recently gave notice. (Some say that it's partially because of my nemesis's bullshit, but if so, he's too well-bred to say so.) I applied for his job. (He and I respect each other and have been talking for months about his plan to quit and the probability of him training me as his replacement.)

When I applied, the super-secret inside word was that I was the front- runner for the job. Several of our coworkers (i.e., half the staff) told me confidentially that they couldn't wait for me to take the job and then clamp down hard on my nemesis and her omni-annoying ways. I know that if I got the job, I would basically have to give my nemesis free rein, because she's the boss's daughter and the boss prefers to live in denial.

However, since my nemesis found out that I applied, she has pulled out all the catty stops in order to make me look bad. It's been made clear to me that she doesn't think I'm good enough for the job I have, much less for that of her supervisor. In retaliation, I have turned in good work and rallied the support of everyone -- even my nemesis's one friend at the office. However, it's starting to look like maybe the Exec. Director is suffering the effects of poison dripped in her ear about me. She's been watching me more carefully and, at the same time, providing more perks to go with my current position. (She's known me since I was a child and I can imagine the guilt and secret shame she'd feel after caving into her daughter's demands.)

At this point, however, I'm wondering if I even want the job anymore. It would look really fabulous on my resume to jump from receptionist to mid-level to Assoc. Dir. in six months, but at the same time, it would mean way more stress for me. Especially with the boss's daughter letting bitterness about my promotion rule her every action. The job pays more than I'm getting now and I can really use the money, but I'm thinking more and more that it doesn't pay enough to put up with all the bullshit.

Here are the options I've hypothetically outlined: 1. Post my resume online now. 2. Try as hard as I can to get the promotion, then hold out in my new position for 6 months, then post my resume online. 3. Stop worrying about the promotion, take advantage of as many guilt- induced perks as I can, work to bulk up my resume and not to benefit our organization, and then post my resume online.

Which would you choose? Is there another path I'm not seeing? ***************************************************************

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2001


There's quite a bit of nepotism stemming from one particular individual in my company, who just so happens to occupy almost the top spot on the organization chart. With one minor exception, it's all sucked because the relatives are screw-ups.

-- Anonymous, May 12, 2001

Job change, lover change, and buying a used car have something in common. You don't know the real deal until you have lived with it for a few months. Is the grass greener?

I need to get a little bit technical on this one.

After a work group is assembled, there will be 2 systems that exist. They are (1) a required system and (2) an emergent system.

The required system is the raw and dogmatic behavior that is required to accomplish a task. This system is management designed, and it is usually general in scope.

The emergent system is something quite different. The emergent system developes from the initial required system, leadership styles, and other background factors. The background factors include, the members attitudes and beliefs, the external status of the members, the organizational culture, the existing technology, and the reward system.

What keeps work groups together and cohesive?

Group cohesiveness correlates with 3 traits. They are (1) productivity, (2) satisfaction, and (3) development.

Work is more than just economic gain. Work provides psychological well being. In addition to economic loss, the unemployed/underemployed suffer psychological deprivation in 4 non-economic dimensions. They are (1) loss of time structure, (2) lack of participation in collective purpose, (3) the absence of acceptable status and its consequences for personal identity, and (4) the reduction of social contacts.

From the above discussion, it looks like the Executive Director's bitchy daughter is only 25% of the problem. Will a new job meet all of the above 4 criteria? You have no way of knowing until you are in a new job for awhile, and you have burned the bridge. Is 3 out of 4 good enough for now? Can you cut a deal with the bitchy daughter? If you can, you can have satisfaction in maybe 3.5-3.75 out of 4 criteria. I would think hard before bailing out of that situation. Job hopping can be detrimental to your economic and psychological health in the long run. Good luck with this one. :-)

Further Reading- Jahoda, Marie "Employment and Unemployment". Cambridge University Press. Cambridge, UK 1982

-- Anonymous, May 12, 2001


The way I see it, Veronica is being blocked from a promotion. She isn't making enough money and her successes are harder to come by than they'd be without a nepotistic supervisor.

Maybe she should just kill her supervisor.

Can you tell I'm trying to avoid working?

-- Anonymous, May 12, 2001


Sure, getting out of work is rational. We all want that. But life can be counterintuitive. In the long run satisfying work is our best friend and idle leisure is our worse enemy. If God loved the bitchy daughter, he would have made her productive.

Going postal is an act of frustration. Hotheads never prevail, and neither do manipulative people.

Tell Veronica this. When Dubya was giving his inauguration speech, he spoke about how he was going to keep Washington together. He wants to reduce political infighting. He also wants to try to bring about a sense of unity even though there will always be disagreement. He talked about the 4 C's; compassion, civility, courage, and character. He is right. Improvement comes in increments, not in giant leaps.

If Veronica applied this to the bitchy daughter, things would change. This is in everybody's interest, but mostly in Veronica's. Win/win.

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2001



I beg your pardon -- when I said I was trying to get out of working, I meant that I, personally, was getting out of working at that moment by posting on this forum instead of finishing work that I'd brought home with me.

Also, I was kidding when I suggested Veronica killing her supervisor. The original question was whether she should look for a better job now or later, not whether she should avoid work or "go postal".

Excuse me for being so unclear. Thank you for your George W. Bush analogy. I like to think that I try my best to be courteous and professional at my place of work (even if I don't always do it on my forum.) If the President could do the same, I'd appreciate it.

If he has, in his spare time, the power to improve Veronica's supervisor in small increments with his four Cs, then I would appreciate any effort he could make in that area, as well.

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2001


I don't mean to come across as preachy or one who sits on a high moral pulpit. I learned none of this the easy way.

Since I am only about 5 years from retirement, I have a lot of experience in the corporate area. Things would have gone much better for me if I had worked from the idealized models which I outlined in previous postings. I didn't work systematicaly, and therefore caused myself money and grief. Things are much easier now, but they were not then. I understand.

It's an old man's folly to try to put an old head on young shoulders. We know better, but that's what we try to do anyway. Sorry. :-)

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2001


Folly's okay, Joseph, but your answer was unclear. Should she quit now, or quit later? No one's talking about going to war.

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2001

Quit later, much later. The economy is slowing. People are being laid off, especially high tech. Having a job now with some seniority is an asset. Young people are too quick to bail out. They often jump from the frying pan into the fire. (I did several times). The bitchy daughter probably won't be around that long, since her job is dependent on her mother. Meanwhile, try to live with her royal highness as best as possible.

It takes longer than you think to rise in any organizational hierarchy. That's my call on this one, with the information I was given.

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2001


well, of course it's nearly impossible to say, not knowing the company and all that, but I think if I were Veronica I'd stay at my current position, try to enjoy the perks, and try (somehow) to start projects or get onto existing projects with a different immediate supervisor. Don't know if that would work, in her firm. But to make such a huge leap within six months (receptionist - mid level - Assoc Dir) sounds REALLY stressful to me -- especially with this bitchy person watching constantly for a mistake. I once took a huge promotion at a non-profit firm, a promotion that was offered, in part, because of huge desperation on their part (yeah, not that I'm not a genius and all that, but many non-profits are pretty damned hungry for live, young, well-intentioned staff members). Anyway, it was a hard job, I loved it, I was in over my head, and I didn't do all that well. Which really really really pleased the bitchy, polyester wearing, painted staff person down the hall to my left. sigh.

the other weird thing is how the ED has known Veronica since her youth. So I guess I'd work a while longer, but post my resume. Because blood is thicker than water; I don't think you're going to win against this lazy ass daughter executive.

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001



One thing comes immediately to mind when I read Veronica's story: I'm a little concerned about her statements "(i.e., half the staff) told me confidentially that they couldn't wait for me to take the job..." and "I have turned in good work and rallied the support of everyone". Not knowing the culture of your office, Veronica, I'm sure I could be way off base here, but I wonder if you are compromising yourself and what could be perceived as your ability to maintain certain confidences that might become more important in a higher-level position? You certainly don't want to be viewed as someone who is only fanning the flames of discontent, and you might be surprised later by someone you thought was "on your side" but who was playing for the other team, so to speak. Discretion is appropriate in ANY office position. Best to keep quiet, and be VERY CAREFUL who you confide in at work, especially considering the family/relationship dynamics involved.

You don't really specify what your nemesis is doing that convinces you she is trying to undermine you. Is she really working at making you look bad or is this just your perception? It's really easy to start overthinking these things. I've been going through some freaky things at work and my mind has started to work overtime, I think, but then again...you have to trust your instincts. Just make sure you are right before bringing your suspicions to anyone else's attention.

You've gotten this far...recognizing that the "sounds to good to be true" promotion might be just that -- too good to be true, even if it's only due to the misconduct of one very connected person. You could probably speculate on how you will feel about your job if you don't get the promotion. Nemesis aside, ask yourself if you will want to keep working there if you don't get the promotion. You can't do anything about the nemesis, so make your decisions based on those things that you CAN control: your work ethic/quality, and what you ultimately want to be doing/earning. Your option #3 is a bad one.

Back to options 1 & 2: Is now a good time to look for a new job? Probably not, depending on what you do and where you live. Does that mean you should EVER stop looking? No. You should ALWAYS have your feelers out, never stop networking.

Keep your nose clean, watch your back, fight the good fight, forgive all my cliches...and Good luck!

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2001


If I were Veronica, I'd try to find another job. Yes, the economy is slow. No, it's not the best time to get a new job. However, I have heard horror story after horror story about So-and-So who is the CEO's daughter, or the HR Director's nephew, or the former babysitter of the manager's children.

I think that if you can possibly manage it, it's best to stay as far away from these situations as possible. If Veronica were promoted, this other woman would try to make her life a living hell. And would probably succeed.

Life's too short to have to deal with family infighting on top of the usual work-related politics. Sure, you need the money and you need the advancement, but you also need your health and sanity, right?

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2001


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