Do you believe this nonsense?

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Received this in an email today. Funny stuff.

DO YOU BELIEVE THIS NONSENSE??!! In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick??) The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside And deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Reason? Under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere in the world that even comes close to this?) In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!) Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!) In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the thought.) In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?) In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." ( Is this a great country or what? Not as great as Guam!) If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it) If you pass wind consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it) A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig.) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still not over that pig thing) Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?) The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hummm....I won't touch THAT one!) The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of...?) (Did the government pay for this research??) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (In my next life I STILL want to be a pig...quality over quantity) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Ah, geez) An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish don't have brains. (I know people like that too.) All I can say is...Damn Those Pigs ~~~~~~~~~~~

-- AZ (Just@home.here.com), May 07, 2001

Answers

My apologies! The type doesn't look anything like my post. Separate paragraphs got pushed into a single big one. I don't know how to fix it. Sorry.

-- AZ (Just@home.here.com), May 07, 2001.

L

-- (Just@keeping.score), May 07, 2001.

'Yes ma'm, make that one first class ticket to Guam. No, no, one way will be fine, thank you. And for heaven's sake, somebady throw some ice water on that pig!'

--------------------------------------------

-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), May 07, 2001.


In Snafu, Ontario albinos can be shot on sight!

The porcupine is the only mammal that never has sex - they reproduce by rubbing against trees!

In Wyoming City, Utah they celebrate Pioneer Orgasm Days during the last week in December.

A sneeze accelerates to twice the speed of sound, so you can only hear the first half of one. The second half (after the "chooo") sounds kind of like the word "slaw", only more musical.

Scientific studies show that male virgins exude the aroma of freshly baked pumpernickel bread!

The pupil of your eye is not actually black, but a very dark purple!

Giraffes don't swallow, they expand their stomachs like a bellows and pull the food down their throats!

The brains of fleas are attached backwards - when they jump they think they are diving!

DNA testing proves the so-called Twin Cities are not actually related!

No one has ever correctly pronounced the word "chic"!

In aggregate, ants create enough energy to illuminate New York City. That is why cockroaches won't live with ants - they much prefer the dark!

-- Break out the cookies and milk (aimless@national_raffle_association.org), May 07, 2001.


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