we had the wifes family around for dinner last night and the conversation inevitably turned to football. Once the spurs conversation had been exhausted one of them asked me what I thought the Toon needed to push for a European slot next year.

Two full backs - one for each flank A big commanding centre half A dominating central midfield player A left sided midfielder - who can use his left foot A striker ( only one - assuming Al remains fit)

Is this too much to ask for?

-- Anonymous, May 06, 2001

Answers

About £20 million too much at a quick guess, Pete.

-- Anonymous, May 06, 2001

You mean Dyer plus 4 mil in change

-- Anonymous, May 06, 2001

Why not just get relegated and put us all out of our fucking misery? go and sign more players from Colchester,sheffield Utd etc and you will regain your rightful position in div 1 in front of 18000 crowds.oh sorry i forgot you have always played in front of 50000 haven't you? thats with 20000 locked out as well!

-- Anonymous, May 06, 2001

Christ - the Makem Stadium fan has a go at our attendances. You can only larf at the Free Ticket Makem, can't you? Anyone care to remind the laughably named SuperKev (Super? One goal in 13 games?)of how many times in the past 80 yaers the SMB have had higher attendances than us?

-- Anonymous, May 06, 2001

I bet you dreamed of playing for Colchester and Sheff Utd when you were at Baldock Town Kev.

-- Anonymous, May 06, 2001

Please accept our humble apologies SK for creating so much misery for you barber's poles. It seems we can't just can't please you whatever we do, or in fact whatever you do yourselves come to think about it.

When we were playing the kind of football that made us the most popular team to watch in the nation, plus mackemland, you were distraught with envy and perpetually miserable. Now that we are simply not prepared to accept the quality of our our present playing squad, this apparently still has you "in misery".
When you were ploughing your furrow in the 2nd Div. you were miserable: now that you've achieved what for you is the heady status of an average mid- table PL side you're still bloody miserable, and calling for the head of 'recus miraculis'- the manager who salvaged the Club and prevented it from dropping into the Conference.

Seems there's no pleasing some folk!

-- Anonymous, May 06, 2001