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PLANT CITY, FL (AP) - Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item -- Wal-Mart's own brandof wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of Modesto, Calif., to produce the spirits at an affordable price; in the $6-8 range. While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand wine into their shopping carts, there is a market for cheap wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I., "There is wine in a box that people are willing to buy," she said, "....the right name is important."

The top 15 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine:

15. Box O' Grapes

14. Chateau Traileur Doublewide

13. White Trashfindel

12. Big Red Gulp

11. Grape Expectations

10. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays"

9. NASCAR Bernet

8. Chef Boyardeaux

7. Peanut Noir

6. Blue Light Special Nun

5. Chateau des Shitface

4. Martha Stewart's Sour Grapes

3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!

2. World Championship Wriesling

And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine...

1. Nasti Spumante

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), May 02, 2001

Answers

There are so many good wines one can find in the $6-$8 range, that I have no idea why someone would buy pulp from them. There are chilean and argentinian chardonneys that are mighty drinkable in that range, as well as some Cote Du Rhones, and red table wines from the Languedoc region in Southern France-A region that has really improved the quality of their wines in recent years.

A little bit of research can unearth these gems. Check out www.winespectator.com. They always have wines listed in the bargain category.

-- Enlightenment (gone@away.now), May 03, 2001.

capn

The wife brought home a 5 litre bottle of Riesling the other night from Sam's. 5 freakin litres!! Biggest bottle of wine I have ever seen in my life. It's about 2 1/2 feet tall and must weigh 10 lbs! It's so much of a conversation piece we're hesitant to open it.

Not much of a wine drinker but will enjoy a glass of white zin or riesling if I'm outa Mich lites....

Maybe I need to take that drinkin' problem test again......

Deano

-- Deano (deano@luvthebeach.com), May 03, 2001.

Enlightenment, if you look at the areas of the country where Wal-Mart has market dominance, you'll realize that people will buy wine from there to avoid being seen in a local liquor store. At Wal-Mart one may hide one's indulgences under a new bath towel along with the lice medication, condoms, and feminine hygiene products.

-- helen (hide@the.bottle), May 03, 2001.

Helen,

That was pretty narrow minded,insulting,sterotypical remark.I expect better from ya than that.

Deano,

What brand was it? Sometimes after the holidays the larger sizes go on sale,even if they are primo wines.

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), May 03, 2001.

capn

I had to get the bottle. I thought Riesling was a brand. Apparently it's not according to the bottle.

Bottled by: Schmitt Sohne GMBH out of Longuich/Germany.

I like it. Pretty tasty stuff!

Deano

-- Deano (deano@luvthebeach.com), May 03, 2001.

Capnfun, where do you think I live? I know nearly everyone in town, and we by golly hide the lice medication, the condoms, and the feminine hygiene products under other stuff in the cart in case we run into someone who wants to talk. Good Lord, man, you're invited to spend a week here observing. Ladies don't allow themselves to be seen in a liquor store whether they drink or not. Kids don't allow their friends to know they have lice. Teenage girls will die before admitting to menstruation. I wasn't being mean, I was telling the truth...don't tell me people just hang their unmentionables out in plain sight where YOU live?

-- helen hides her eyes (eh@what.capn), May 03, 2001.

Deano,

Does it say Auslesse,Spatlese or Kabinett? These are degrees of sweetness as dictated by German law,with Auslesse being the sweetest.

Schmitt Sohne produces some really nice rieslings.My bet is you got a pretty good deal.

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), May 03, 2001.

AND capn, I was personally elated to see your announcement about Wal-Mart stocking wines. That means I can buy alcohol ... almost ... as freely as the rest of you. :)

-- helen (and@further.more), May 03, 2001.

Helen,

You did not say where you live and I did not inquire.As I am no stranger,I take it you probably know I am not from NYC,but have lived in the south my whole life.

Being from the south and examining what you said it don't hold no water as far as the wal-mart thing goes.If'n all your neighbors go to W-Mart and you don't want them to see you buying wine you are not gonna buy it there.The liquor store,where those people don't go,is probably less obvious and you can allways get Billy Jo to pick it up for ya when he gets his 5th of whiskey.At least that way the Sunday school teacher or the neighbors won't be peering into your cart as you squirm to make your getaway undetected.

In Tennessee & Kentucky you have to get your wine from a liquor store,W-Mart or a supermarket is not an option.

The south is not what it was,at least from where I'm situated.

-- capnfun (capnfun1@excite.com), May 03, 2001.

LOL helen! My wife is a elem teacher in a small town, so she has to be careful what shows in her basket, like you said. But what's REALLY tough is buying dope or sexual appliances! :•)

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-- Lon Frank (lgal@exp.net), May 03, 2001.

Capn, the liquor stores here are situated on very public streets. If you're parked out front, everyone knows what you're doing.

Lon...sexual appliances? What's that? ;)

-- helen (dr@w.l), May 03, 2001.

Maybe you JUST THINK everyone cares what you're doing.

-- (just@a.thought), May 03, 2001.

Why don't they just stock Ripple?

-- John Littmann (LITTMANNJOHNTL@AOL.COM), May 03, 2001.

You cannot buy hard liquor anywhere but in a state run liquor store here in Washington. Can't buy liquor on sundays, and they have close by 9 or 10 pm. You can buy wine anywhere beer is sold, like the grocery store or 7-11. Some groceries choose not to sell it.

-- Cherri (jessam5@home.com), May 03, 2001.

capn

I'm pretty sure it says Spatlese on the bottle somewhere. And ol' Deano exaggerated a little bit. It's a 3 litre bottle that's 22 inches tall.

I just found out my wiener isn't a foot long either.....

TGIF!!

Deano

-- Deano (deano@luvthebeach.com), May 04, 2001.

just, among other things, I'm a teacher and a church secretary. What I do in public could cost me. I don't drink, but I'm acutely aware of the community standards of conduct. My family has been in the area 6 generations, and I still hear gossip about who drank himself to death and ruined his family over 60 years ago. It's not a bad thing to be accountable to one's community, just irksome at times.

-- helen (hiding@the.store), May 04, 2001.

"It's not a bad thing to be accountable to one's community, just irksome at times."

This is why America used to be a great nation --- Accountability! Now that we don't have it anymore, everyone just does what they please and to hell with the consequences. That's why today's young people are so screwed up. They can do anything they want without facing the judgement of a responsible society.

-- Old Timer (older@bud.weiser), May 04, 2001.

lol helen, I thought it a funny comment. Funny usually has truth in it somewhere.

Lon, hehe. Reminds me of a line in "Bananas" where Woody Allen is sneaking some smut through the checkout. The clerk yells across the store ,

"Hey, , price check over here! How much for ORGASM Magazine !?!!?"

-- Debbie (dbspence@usa.net), May 04, 2001.

Wow, Helen. I can't imagine living in a town like yours. It sounds like a town out of a previous century. It sounds like folks are embarrassed regarding even the most natural functions. Do you think this may have something to do with why ethnic diversity is seen differently by you than by me?

I grew up in the city, but the town in which I live now isn't very large. It IS diverse, however, and folks buy ANYTHING without neighbors thinking anything of it. We tend to discuss everything quite openly, as well. I forgot where you live. I know it's rural, but where [roughly] did this time-machine land? Do I live in the South? Is North Texas considered a part of the South, or is it considered the South-West?

I was the first one to tell the pre-school [back in Illinois] that one of my kids had lice. I can't imagine anyone wanting to hide something that could affect an entire community if the word didn't get out to check often and carefully. The same held true of pin- worms. I did more than treat these things. I studied them. Heh. My kids studied them right along with me. I still had my parasitology book and a fairly high-powered microscope, and all one needed was a piece of transparent tape and a clean slide to capture a good specimen.

My kids openly discuss menstruation, masturbation, sex, alcohol, drugs, and anything else that comes to mind. They even discuss this in front of my 88-year old mother [but I think most of it goes over her head.] I think we all appreciate the candid discussions, and my friends and neighbors appreciate MY candor in these discussions, as well, and respond in kind. SOME things were forbidden in discussions for far too long, and there's no way a society can fight abuses, diseases, parasites, etc. if people are too fearful to discuss such things.

Most trash bags are black [and I wonder if they're designed to be black so neighbors can't observe the trash used.] Our recycling bags, however, are blue, so if my neighbors wanted to check, they could see all the aluminum cans, the apple juice cans, the milk bottles, etc.] In my daughter's community, they recycle glass, so they set their beer bottles, wine bottles, etc. on the curb for pickup in an open container. More important to the neighbors than condemning people for alcoholism, I see folks admiring them for recycling.

-- Anita (Anita_S3@hotmail.com), May 04, 2001.