They F*** You Up Your Mum and Dad..

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well, my Dad does anyway. Got him a ST for last year's 70th b'day - he hasn't been since the 70's.

He is a typical old fashioned working class Geordie bloke who doesn't talk much and would rather die than show emotion. On his b'day last August, on one of my rare visits home, I got him down to SJP on the pretext of him showing me the new stadium. He was in awe, and opened up for the first time in years about the 35 years he never missed a match (lying buggar!) from his vantage point half way up the Leazes, when I dramatically pulled a seson ticket FOR THE LEAZES out of my pocket.

Well, his face. HE just whispered 'that's wonderful' then fell silent for a full minute, not knowing what to say or how to say it; he didn't need to. The closest I've felt to him for all of my 39 3/4 years, a feeling I'll remember to the end of my days.

So how does the dozy wanker repay me? By leaving before the end of the Leicester game and missing the goal, that's how! Dozy Twat. That's it, I'll NEVER darken his door again the dirty, rotten, slimy....

-- Anonymous, April 30, 2001

Answers

Smashing story nick, and very nostalgic for me - I only wish my Dad had lived to see KK's wonderful team and the rebirth of SJP, not to mention the pleasure of going along and sharing it all with him.

Enjoy it together - while you can.

-- Anonymous, April 30, 2001


LOL :-D Great tale, Nick. The thing about gifts is that you can't determine how they're (ab)used. But leaving before the final whistle must surely be a crime worthy of sanction.

Nudge him while he's having a pint... :-)

-- Anonymous, April 30, 2001


In case anyone missed the literary reference:

They fuck you up, your mum and dad,

they may not mean to, but they do.

They fill you with the faults they had,

and add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn,

by fools, in old style hats and coats,

who half the time were sorry stern,

and half at one anothers' throats.

Man hands on misery to man,

it broadens like a coastal shelf.

So get out as quickly as you can,

and don't have any kids yourself.

By the immortal Philip Larkin

-- Anonymous, April 30, 2001


Many thanks for that FGB - I'm sorry to say it had indeed gone over my head. However, I'll certainly lock that one away - excellent.

-- Anonymous, April 30, 2001

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