SHT - Taking issue with modern inconveniences

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Readers take issue with modern inconveniences

April 26, 2001

BY RICHARD ROEPER SUN-TIMES COLUMNIST

You are the strongest link, hello.

Thanks to the hundreds of readers who responded to my request for modern-day "conveniences" that drive us all crazy. (My list included mini-refrigerators, elevators, vending machines and AM radio.)

A sampling of your nominations:

1. Public water fountains. "The water never rises up enough so you don't touch your mouth on the metal guard. This has been a problem since kindergarten!"

2. Bowling balls. "When was the last time you went bowling and actually found a `house ball' that fit your fingers and was the weight you wanted?"

3. Self-serve ice machines. "You either get one cube, or enough to fill three Big Gulps."--All from Steve Medel, Chicago

* * *

Remote controls. "Trying to find an "all-in-one" that actually works with every machine I have is impossible."--Irma Meyers-Donihoo, Dallas

* * *

1. Office copy machines. "Why do these things get perpetually `paper jammed'? And I love the little map that supposedly tells you where the jam occurred. But there's always that one special place, where the jam actually occurred, that seems to be mysteriously missing from the map. It's like one of those `hidden treasure' maps where one corner of the map is missing."

2. Umbrellas. "When will they invent one that can hold up under our severe Chicago weather? The `modern' ones usually claim to be `wind resistant.' If you believe that, check out all the mangled, discarded umbrellas in the garbage cans around the Loop the next windy, rainy morning we have in Chicago."--Both from Michael Cozzi, Naperville

* * *

Pay phones. "Is there one left on the planet that you can just drop money in and dial? Or do you always have to have the change kicked back, call the operator, etc.?"--Kyle Bright, Bridgeview

* * *

Escalators. "They are the worst! Escalators at Union Station are always out of order, and it's not easy walking up a standing escalator."--Kathy Burde, via e-mail

* * *

Fire hydrants. "You would think someone would have invented something to stop a 6-year-old kid from being able to open one of the most important public safety devices."--Jason Palmer, Chatham

* * *

Microwaves. "Let's face it, it's either over-cooked or half-cooked or half-frozen or whatever."

Shopping carts. "Please show me ONE that doesn't: teeter, pull to the left, pull to the right, have a wheel that doesn't jam or make a wretched noise that makes everyone give you a look that says, `Thank God I didn't get THAT cart.' "--Both from Suzzanne Fisher, Hollywood, Calif.

* * *

ATMs. "They're like snowflakes; no two are alike. My bank has different style machines at each of its various locations. Is this for security reasons or just normal stupidity?"--Leonard Kay, Glenview

* * *

Sanitized toilet-seat wraps. "As your gestures become more frantic because the thing doesn't revolve, you are sure a hidden camcorder is filming a `Candid Camera' segment."

Underwire bras. "What a hoax."--Both from Peggy Fasano, Northbrook

* * *

Public restroom towel dispensers. "The ones with the long continuous towel that you have to pull down to find a dry spot. And when you pull it, it doesn't move, so you leave the bathroom with wet hands."--Daniel Hawker, via e-mail

* * *

Cordless phones. "I don't care how much I spend, I've never had one that works the way it's supposed to. The `rechargeable' batteries have the life span of a Krispy Kreme in my office break room. Every other long distance call is interrupted by some phantom conversation in the background. And there are only certain areas in my apartment where I can stand and get decent reception. I want to know how NASA could clearly hear astronauts on the moon 30 years ago and in the 21st century I can't grab a pop from the fridge without grandma asking if I live by the train."--Tara Harris, Chicago

* * *

Also receiving mentions: windshield wipers; CD jewel boxes and shrink-wrapping; VCRs; toilet paper dispensers--both the giganto-rolls in public restrooms and the metal cylinders with the spring devices you have at home; fast food intercoms; fax machines; gas pumps; parking meters; cell phones; automatic tollway booths.

And copy machines received more votes than any other device.

-- Anonymous, April 26, 2001


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