How do you solve a problem like Maria?greenspun.com : LUSENET : Unk's Wild Wild West : One Thread |
Lyrics:[Berthe] She climbs a tree And scrapes her knee Her dress has got a tear.
[Sophia] She waltzes on her way to mass And whistles on the stair.
[Berthe] And underneath her wimple She has curlers in her hair!
[Sophia] Maria's not an asset to the abbey.
[Berthe] She's always late for chapel,
[Margaretta] But her penitence is real.
[Berthe] She's always late for everything, Except for every meal.
[Mother Abbess] I hate to have to say it But I very firmly feel
[Berthe and Sophia] Maria's not an asset to the abbey!
[Margaretta] I'd like to say a word in her behalf. Maria makes me laugh!
[Sophia] How do you solve a problem like Maria?
[Mother Abbess] How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
[Margaretta] How do you find a word that means Maria?
[Berthe] A flibberti gibbet!
[Sophia] A willo' the wisp!
[Margaretta] A clown!
[Mother Abbess] Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her, Many a thing she ought to understand.
[Margaretta] But how do you make her stay And listen to all you say,
[Mother Abbess] How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
[Margaretta] Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria?
[Mother Abbess] How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
[Margaretta] When I'm with her I'm confused Out of focus and bemused, And I never know exactly where I am.
[Sophia] Unpredictable as weather, She's as flighty as a feather,
[Margaretta] She's a darling,
[Berthe] She's a demon,
[Margaretta] She's a lamb.
[Sophia] She'd out-pester any pest, Drive a hornet from his nest,
[Berthe] She could throw a whirling dervish Out of whirl.
[Margaretta] She is gentle, She is wild,
[Sophia] She's a riddle.
[Margaretta] She's a child.
[Berthe] She's a headache!
[Margaretta] She's an angel!
[Mother Abbess] She's a girl.
[All] How do you solve a problem like Maria? How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? How do you find a word that means Maria? A flibberti gibbet! A willo' the wisp! A clown! Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her, Many a thing she ought to understand. But how do you make her say, And listen to all you say? How do you keep a wave upon the sand? Oh, how do you solve a problem like Maria? How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
-- Break out the cookies and milk (aimless@national_raffle_association.org), April 26, 2001
"She's a girl." Mother Abbess has been on NOW's short list for some time for that remark but now our Maria is too. Thanks a bunch.
-- Carlos (riffraff@cybertime.net), April 26, 2001.
Maria Deluca, as played by Majandra Delfino, is a successful breakout character on the GenX Sci-fi show "Roswell". She started out suspicious and shrill, and quickly became an entertaining character in her own right. In this piece, I suggest that despite her lip-service to assertiveness and individuality, Maria DeLuca has moved from being a strong girlfriend to becoming the mouthpiece for the insidious message that living through your man is character in itself.
-- (Rodgers&Hammerstein@Sound.of_Music), April 26, 2001.