Facts about Americans. Did you know that...

Remember when you are reading this 90% of people say that they sometimes lie.

AROUND THE HOUSE*
21% of us don't make our bed daily. 5% of us never do.
* Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly.
* 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man.
* 85% of men don't use the slit in their underwear.
* 67.5% of men were tightie whities (briefs).
* The average bra size today is 36C whereas 10 years ago it was a 34B.
* 85% of women wear the wrong bra size. (Is there a correlation????)

HABITS*
58.4% have called into work sick when we weren't.
* 3 out of 4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order with singles leading up to higher denominations.
* 50% admit they regularly sneak food into movie theaters to avoid the high prices of snack foods.
* 39% of us peek in our host's bathroom cabinet.
* 17% have been caught by the host.
* 81.3% would tell an acquaintance to zip his pants.
* 29% of us ignore RSVP.
* 35% give to charity at least once a month.
* 71.6% of us eavesdrop.

FOOD*
69% eat the cake before the frosting.
* When nobody else is around, 47% drink straight from the carton.
* Snickers is the most popular candy.
* 22% of us skip lunch daily.
* 9% of us skip breakfast daily.
* 66% of us eat cereal regularly.
* 22% of all restaurant meals include french fries.
* 14% of us eat the watermelon seeds.

HYGIENE*
22% leave the glob of toothpaste in the sink.
* Only 13% brush our teeth from side to side.
* Nearly 1/3 of U.S. women color their hair.
* 53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on.
* 58% of women paint their nails regularly.
* 33% of women lie about their weight.
* 4 out of 5 of us have suffered from hemorrhoids.
(I thought that was preferred Trident gum)
* The average girl starts her period at age 12.
* 30% of us refuse to sit on a public toilet seat.
* 54.2% of us always wash our hands after using the toilet.
* 23.5% admit they don't always flush.
* 45.2% pee in the shower.
* 44.9% pee in the ocean.
* 28.1% pee in the pool.
* 46.5% of men say they ALWAYS put the seat down after they've used the toilet, yet women claim to ALWAYS find it up.

DRIVING*
4 out of 5 sing in the car.
(and probably 4 out of 5 can't sing for beans either)
* 12% of men never use their car blinkers.
* 45% of us consistently follow the speed limit.
(This is hard to believe - Get on a highway and go the exact speed limit. Are 45% of the people not passing you - I doubt it)
* 2/3 of us speed up at a yellow light.
* 1/3 of us don't wear seat belts.
* 71% can drive a stick-shift car.
* 44% of men tailgate to speed up the person in front of them.
(Hint from Jokemaster: When this happens, accelerate while simultaneously touching your brake - just enough so the break light goes on - scaring the crap out of the guy behind you)

WHAT WE SHOULDN'T BE DOING
13% of us admit to occasionally doing our offspring's homework.
91% of us lie regularly.
27% admit to cheating on a test or quiz.

RELIGION*
90% believe in divine retribution.
* 10% believe in the 10 Commandments.
(That's one Commandment per person on average)
* 82% believe in an afterlife.
* 45% believe in ghosts.
* 10% of us claim to have seen a ghost. (Not Counting Casper)
* 49% believe in ESP.

DAILY LIVING*
90% of us depend on alarm clocks to wake us.
* 53% read their horoscopes regularly.
* 16% of us have forgotten our own wedding anniversary (mostly men).
* 59% of us say we're average-looking.
* Less than 10% are trilingual.
* 37% claim to know how to use all the features on their VCR.
* 53% prefer ATM machines over tellers.
* 44% reuse tinfoil.
* 57% save pretty gift paper to reuse.
* 66% of women and 59% of men have used a mix to cook and taken credit for doing it from scratch.
* 53% of us would take advice from Anne Landers.
* 28% of us have skinny-dipped. 14% with the opposite sex.
* 51% of adults dress up for a Halloween festivity.
* On average, we send 38 Christmas cards every year.
* 20% of women consider their parents to be their best friends.

LOVE & SEX*
2 out of 5 have married their first love.
* Only 4% asked the parents' approval for their bride's hand.
* 29% of us are virgins when we marry.
(How many claim they are?)
* The average sexual experience lasts about 39 minutes.
* Men say the average erect penis is 10". Women say it's 4".
* 56% of men have had sex at work.
* 60% of men and 54% of women have had a 1-night stand.
* Women buy 4 out of every 10 condoms sold.
* 1 in 5 men proposed on his knees.
* 6% propose over the phone. (Guys get a clue)
(And what percent said yes?)

-- Anonymous, April 24, 2001

Answers

I am not now, nor have I ever been, normal. I get more abnormal as I get older.

-- Anonymous, April 24, 2001

Be aware, when skinny dipping in a pool with a block wall all around your backyard for privacy, that there isn't a two story house next door. :~)

-- Anonymous, April 24, 2001

Maggie! You DID that??? LOLOLOLOL!

-- Anonymous, April 24, 2001

LOL Maggie!~!~!

-- Anonymous, April 24, 2001

these are priceless, please put them over at our GS board!!!!

And MAGGIE....YOU GO GIRL!!!! hehehehehe

-- Anonymous, April 24, 2001

"3 out of 4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order with singles leading up to higher denominations." Come on! It's not like I put them in order of serial number!

"The average bra size today is 36C whereas 10 years ago it was a 34B"..."22% of all restaurant meals include french fries" I'm thinking THAT's the correlation...

-- Anonymous, April 24, 2001

"The average bra size today is 36C whereas 10 years ago it was a 34B"..."22% of all restaurant meals include french fries" I'm thinking THAT's the correlation...

Brooks says that eating fries gives you bigger tits. Film at eleven.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

-- Anonymous, April 24, 2001

Town Crier, I'm guessing you'se a guy? Every gal knows that the curse of dieting is that the first couple stones come directly off the boobs.

-- Anonymous, April 24, 2001

Town Crier was smart enough to e-mail me and let me know who he is. Yes, he's a guy. Other than that, muh mips um mealed.

"* 53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on."

YOU MEAN I'M SUPPOSED TO PUT IT ON THE EFFING HOUSE TOO? Come the revolution, Martha Stewart will be first up against the wall.

-- Anonymous, April 24, 2001

Yep, one night, with the pool lights on under the water, went skinny dipping...thinking at the time that no one could see. Later...the next day or so, when I had one of those light bulb moments, upon realising the people next door could see out from their second floor bedroom window. I don't know if they looked out that night but, more then likely they did. That happened a few years ago when I lived in Cali.

-- Anonymous, April 24, 2001

90% of us depend on alarm clocks to wake us.

I set my alarm clock whenever I'm going to work the next day. There has only been a handful of days that the cat hasn't gotten me up well before the alarm.

-- Anonymous, April 24, 2001

Oops! Mags, you reckon they had binoculars???

Meemur--yes, the cats. The only time they don't wake us is if I inadvertently leave out any cat-attractive food overnight. Then all we hear in the morning are soft burps and whisps of salmony breath.

-- Anonymous, April 24, 2001

Hell no, of course I'm not a Normal. Mutant to the very core. And that's a 40 C, scout's honor.

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." -- Hunter S. Thompson

-- Anonymous, April 24, 2001